Sorry for the length blades, but I just really needed to get this out... So last August I started my freshman year at a college that I chose to go to that was 1200 miles away from home. I knew nobody there when I first moved and I was in a bit of a culture shock because I had moved from Massachusetts to Alabama all was alone as an 18 year old kid. Like most other people I got used to school over time and after about 2 weeks met this awesome chick that was really down to do anything. We both shared a mutual LOVE for weed and many other things. We began to hang out every single day, usually just smoking the day away while listening to music and having a great time. It was usually just the two of us and I began to grow feelings for her because how awesome she really is. The problem though was she had just gotton out of a 5 year relationship like the first week school started and ever since then she has claimed about how much she doesn't want a relationship, and how much she wasted the last 5 years of her life. I listened to her when she said that and respected it, hoping that when she was finally ready that I would be the first person she chose. So we continued to be just friends and hang out 24/7. Once we hit November, we were together all the time. We started sleeping together in the same bed (Although nothing happened), we would always playfully touch each other and wrestle, and I would always rub her back and stuff like that. By December we were still doing this every day and I was beginning to get a little fed up with not really getting anything in return. I felt like this because whenever she went home she would fuck two different guys whenever they really wanted it. Now granted she has known them a little longer than me, but she does not know them anywhere near as much as me, and they treat her like shit compared to me. They are ghetto ass black guys that do shit with their lives besides sell crack and treat people like shit. Ive told her since then that I can't stand these guys but she really doesn't care she still continues to fuck them. Fast forward to early January now, and we just got back to school after winter break. We started up where we left off and it seemed that for about a week we got as close as we've gotten so far. Finally one night she tells me that maybe we should have sex but she didn't have a bed yet, and we had to sleep in the living room that night so nothing happened. Ever since that night it has seemed like she has been pushing me away. Two nights after that when I really started to put the moves on her she put me in a corner and told me flat out she still wasn't interested in having sex at all. I said whatever, and left and then I find out the next day that after I left she called up her ghetto fuck buddy and banged him all night after giving me a bunch of false hope. That killed me because I have never really had much luck with girls at all before and I really thought I was going to have her. I stayed mad at her for a few days after that, but eventually we started hanging out just as much as we did before. The difference though is she has been treating me like a complete dick. She always says I have this "attitude" but I legitimately don't, I only get it when she lies to me and really pisses me off and even then I never yell at her or anything. It seems like she never trusts me anymore even with stuff she used to trust me with completely. She does stuff like flirt with random ass dudes when I go out places with her, she always calls her two fuck buddies to come up and have sex with while leaving me out in the cold, and she mooches everything off me. My frustration about this has been building up and two nights ago she told me the biggest lie shes ever said to get me to leave her party early so she could fuck some random ass dude. That was basically the last straw for me and I told her EVERYTHING I felt about her. I love her and I basically told her that and I said that if she has no intention of ever having a relationship or anything with me, then I need to get away from her because it kills me that I do everything for her and get everything but sex which she gives to guys she doesn't care about. She agreed with that and said it'll help both of us but that was really it. She blamed the fact that she won't be with me on my attitude which is such bullshit, I know its because she can get much better looking guys in bed. So that was two days ago and life is awful without her. I don't know if I made a mistake or not. I am 1,200 miles away from home so most of my close friends aren't here and there ain't a lot to do (She was the only one who smoked as much as I do.) Most of my friends down here are through her as well as most of the dealers I do business with. I was with her 24/7 and all of a sudden we just aren't friends anymore. I concentrated so much on landing this chick and put so much time into her, that I didn't have time to really meet any new friends or chicks because everyone always thought we were together. It kills me because she is the girl of my dreams and although I may have made her out to sound a little like an asshole, the past six months with her have by far been the best six months of my life and she feels the same way. I just don't know what to do now. 99% of my thoughts are about her and I'm terrified at the thought of basically having to start my college life over in the middle of February. Any advice would help...Thanks
Yeah it hurts but you did the right thing man. As long as she knows you'll always be there for her, entertain her, and cater to her needs (except sex of course), this will go nowhere for you. You're obviously a lot more into her than she is into you and I gotta say this - You're a decent, respectful person and she isn't. Let her have her crack dealers and cheap hookups. That's what she deserves. She sure as hell doesn't deserve you because you're better than that and honestly, you're better than her. It's likely she'll try and shmooz you into making up so she can keep you as her ace in the hole, but you need to stand strong and stay away. She made her choice and you need to let her live with that. Your wound will heal and now you have time to socialize again. There will be more girls and while it might not seem like it now, it won't be hard to do better than her. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and all you can do is keep swinging. Good luck, you're gonna be alright and you'll be better off in the long run from the whole experience.
dude i think i know how u feel i was never lucky with the ladys too and when i finally found some girl, i really thought we could get together well she got together with 2 other guys in like 3 month or something like that. i would say move on and make some other friends and do something to distract u from her at least thats what i've done i wish u good luck (and sorry if my advice isn't the best right know but i'm high as fuck and i'm glad i managed to write in a way u can understand or at least i hope i did)
wtf?... grow some balls man. I don't want to sound rude even though I know for a fact I am... but come on man... And yeah, she wont fuck you because of your attitude, basically saying you're too much of a wimp? Again, i don't mean to sound rude, im being honest. You say she fucks all these no life guys and losers and random men but NOT you. You're going through all this bullshit just to fuck her? You're wasting time, precious valuable time. Can't believe you're wasting time on this dirty bag of whoreness. Am i the only one tripping out here? Listen, if you are trying to fuck this girl, she obviously has a thing for men that ARENT you. She wants to be treated like the little whore she is. She's the type of girl that you don't want but you're too foolish to understand. Do you not see the pattern here? She's using you obviously, and you're blinded by... only god knows what.. to even see it clearly. She's using you as a friend, something she found out that you would give her unconditionally it seems... while she goes around getting the other thing she needs, some dick. I really don't think she's attracted to you at all, and she clearly does NOT respect you at all. Not. One. Bit. This just makes me sad. It's like seeing a man trying to get the keys he locked inside his car. You'll laugh... feel sorry for him... and hope he learns his lesson next time. Theres not much I can do.
was it necessary to say their race?, if they were white would you say ghetto ass white guys? and oh, yeh that girl is big a hoe. Do the two guys fuck her at the same time?
Tyke- Thanks a lot man, that really helped. I'm really gonna try and stay away from her no matter how hard she tries to win me back. +rep if I could Mairuzu- You didn't sound rude man I can see where your coming from. As I said, I've never been good with the ladies and when she came along, I knew she was way outta my league at first so I guess I tried to win her over...idk... Thanks though, I needed someone to tell me that. Novek- She is white as can be and interracial couples in Alabama is a big No-No, that's the only reason for mentioning the race. And no she doesn't bang them at the same time, she ain't a complete whore
I agree with Mairuzu, you are wasting time and that's where you fucked up. Stop hanging out with her and meet new people, if that's not an option because other people don't smoke as much as you do then you should stop for a moment and re-consider on what you look for in a friend -.-
Ya at your age dude you got all the time in the world and yet put your eggs in one basket. If ya arent gettin tail after a few weeks it aint gonna happen most times. And the fact you played more of her girlfriend as a roll havin sleepovers with nothin more just reinforced the roll. Why in these times anyone thinks they need a relationship at 18 is beyond me. My priorities were school, music, drugs and women. School and music kept me pretty busy, and because of the music, drugs and women fell from the sky later. Concentrate on school, get a hobby thats not drugs, smoke copious amounts of weed and worry about chicks last. My point is if you put them last you just dont give a fuck and it makes it so much easier cause you'll have more of a, either they will or they wont fuck me attitude. What works for one girl. may not work on another and you need to be bolder about things so that you can tell which is which and move on if gettin a girl is that high a priority. Ya cant wait so long to close a deal, a chick knows in five minutes if she would sleep with you, and you need to ask within 10 (your actual time may vary) if your gonna have a chance. The signals though can be confusing for men thats why we just need to be upfront and ask much of the time. Does that behaviour make some men aholes, maybe, but I would say its just goal oriented. Problem is some guys these fall into a nice guy catagory, I see alot of guys that have been raised in a single parent home that mom teaches be respectful of girls. Thats all well and good but in real life whos gettin laid? The guys who are who guys who are assholes. Why because they dont give a fuck, and pinch of an ass or a tit and either get slapped or close the deal on sex forth with. Not to mention ya never get what ya dont ask for. Point is you got loads of time, get a game plan, both short and long term (they will never be absolute) and be prepared for change and some complete fails. It aint the end of the world. Take it from me I am just about 50, played in a band with its roots in the Seattle heyday of the 80's and 90's. Ive got to see many countries and loads of slutty little groupies. It took me probably longer than most (I had a good run) to find miss right because of goals, but I will say that the one I picked is the cream of the crop and she feels the same way. Personally I think there would be less divorce if many waited to the last half of life to take on just one partner. Now my goals have switched to wife, retirement in a foriegn country, and Harley's and these are JMO's.
Damn son, thats a fuckin succibus... LOLing sooo hard at her getting rammed hardcore by big ghetto black dudes...Thats just too damn funny man, i mean not for you but you know what i mean. Yo you need to quit smoking up and being nice to a bitch thats getting railed by other dudes. It just kinda shows her the weakness in you bro you can't just be giving youreslf to her, using up resources on her, for nothing... You should start railing bitches left and right to show her whats up. Why would you waste weed and time on a ho thats not even showing you any love or affection back. This girl is leeching the life out of you man.
Understood man. But from what I can tell, my quick little summary of you, you seem like a good guy. You're wasting your time on a woman that doesn't care for you and in the future this is only gonna make you more woman friendly. It's all about experience anyways. There are a ton of girls that deserve your time instead of this one. A TON OF GIRLS. You're in college man. Just a few tips tho... you dont want to give the impression that you're always available to these girls. Don't rely on them too much either. Make them want you like she made you want her. You get it? Be the leader not the follower.
I see what your saying here man but she isn't just some chick I wanted to shag. At first I really had no interest in her because like you said, I was in college and wanted to concentrate on other things first but my feelings grew the more we hung out. I would say my main problem is that I'm just incredibly shy, yeah I was really nice to her MOST of the time, but I didn't completely roll over for her ever either. The part where I fucked up is I just didn't let her know how I felt soon enough, at least that's what I think because now she can't see me as more than a friend....Whatever....I just gotta find a way to get her off mine
College in alabama should equal fire weed keystone natty or good beer if you have money plenty of hot blonde bitches COD
Good for you man, you learned a hard but valuable lesson you won't soon forget and that's the best kind. It's definitely a step in the right direction. I said it before but you're gonna be allright. Yes it's hard now and it hurts but I'm getting a real good feeling about you and your future prospects. Rock on brudda!
Pretty much sums it up right there. You couldn't be more in the friends zone and she is taking advantage of you wanting her so bad. Ditch her then meet up in a few years, be confident and you can probably fuck her then.
Nah man, you did the right thing.... I know it's hard right now, but in the long run, cutting ties with her is the best decision. I know, without a doubt. You don't have to be enemies, but don't hang around her anymore.