The thing is I'm I'm great at talking with girls I'm deep and thoughful but the thing is I can't get away from the bullshit. How do I get away from the bullshit I'm an emotional retard when it comes down to it. Help me mature GC!
Ease into it, having a deep conversation with someone is a very intimate experience. Let it happen, do not force it.
Just talk to them the way you'd talk to a friend. Don't overthink it, just be cool and be yourself. If it works out, great, if not.. well, you have new friend It's best to let these things happen naturally.
| | | v I'm extremely selfish and show-offish. I Think I deserve attention when really when I get it I just remain shallow and don't do anything. Thing is during my thought process I know this is a wrong thing to do but I can't get past the thought of being rejected but essentially the greater the risk of being rejected the greater chance of being accepted you know? I just met this girl online and we've been talking and everything has been going pretty well. She's 21 and has 3 kids (yea I know) but that doesn't deter me at all I mean she's a real individual and thats all I care about. She just gave me her number and I don't want to ruin it because she has she priorities other that me. ANy help, I mean any help will be much appreciated man I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time and I want to make this work I want to drink the sweet nectar of a relationship again. Help!
Im still confused...If you can talk to her over the internet I dont see that being much diff then over the phone. If your worried about it I would maybe try and keep the first couple convos short and sweet that way its not long drawn out shit then when your starting to feel more comfortable see where it goes. If your thinking about getting involved with someone with 3 kids I hope your not a needy all attention on me kinda guy because dear your not going to be getting much of it.
I know that. I just want to be able to have a companion you know any time I get will be precious to me. *sigh* Its easier talking over the web but for some reason I suddenly get a wad of cotton stuck in my mouth when it comes to phone or text I dunno maybe because its more direct than talking over the internet. I just don't want to fuck it up but I'm also not going wo whine about my inability to have a fluid conversation. I have been keeping it short and sweet but I dunno I want to have longer conversations and I've become this terribly shy guy around women lol and I don't want it to be that way I want to be free and open with her I want to be able to have my heart broken (if that makes sense). I'm not seeking to but I mean I want to be able to experience the good times to make the bad times worth it I don't want to be this turtle in the shell anymore especially with her. How do I keep my cool and at the same time wow this girl??
I recognize my problems bro. I'm trying to change them I'm not saying that I'm going to adhere to them and keep on going plus its good to be a little selfish once ina while especially with your time. I know no girl appreciates that I'm I'm trying to change to make this work you fucking conjuration of Sauron Name-calling isn't allowed here. Please reports posts like that instead of replying. Thanks. *Donks
Well im sure most people would tell you to just tell her how you feel but I don't necessarily think you should. When your in a new relationship its not best to lay all your cards out on the table. You don't want someone thinking your weak or flawed. I like to let someone form their own opinion of me (im my worst critic). If you want to come over this anxiety your just going to have to face it. The more you do the better it will get. If you want to have longer conversations then just do it. After been talking to her for a while you should have some common interests talk about those? her kids? christmas? talk about memories? anything really. Shit whatever creeps up in your noggin that is appropriate talk about it.... If your trying to break out of your shell do the exact opposite of what you'd normally do.
I once was in a long distance relationship, so verbal/online communication was a constant. Inevitably, we'd run out of things to talk about and sometimes conversations would become formulaic. So what I did, when I'd blank out about what to talk about, I'd refer to a notepad I kept handy. On it, I listed recent and general questions I had that came into my mind before the conversation. Sounds stupid, but have you ever gotten off the phone and said "DAMMIT I FORGOT TO ASK/MENTION ____" And if it's a new relationship, you are NOT calling back immediately to share the little nugget after a half hour or longer conversation. So yea, when I would blank out, I'd refer to that to jog my memory of something I maybe wanted to address, or topics that I thought about previously that I imagined would further the chat. Worked fairly well...just don't have your 'general' refreshers be the same as the ones on top of your head. Sit and think out some interesting ones, hah.
sometimes you have to just go in, without worrying about what the outcome will be. just go talk to some girls to have fun, don't stress.