I returned to my body... for the first time

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by mynameis832, Jan 26, 2014.

  1. Hello everyone. So I'm in my freshman year of college and these last few months have been a time of experimentation, to say the least. I first "really" got high through edibles in this experience back in September. Feel free to read the whole thing, but a great example of it is:
    "You know how when you're falling asleep a million thoughts race through your head, and you have a weird floating sensation? It was like that times a thousand. I could feel a 3d map of the room and everything was moving and twisting and at the time, I'm pretty sure "I feel synesthesia" popped out of my mouth (but I have no idea how exactly that felt). My heart is pounding super fast and it feels like it's shaking my entire body. Suddenly my stomach feels like it's doing backflips and I race to the bathroom and vomit out my guts."
    A few weeks later I got high but nowhere near that experience, and then over winter break I experimented several times with a friend's vaporizer. (I'm a very nerdy guy and would rather do that type of stuff than smoke). I happen to keep a diary of these times, and this is something I wrote:
    MARIJUANA LETS YOU HEAR THE MUSIC OF THE UNIVERSE. Post that somewhere, that's all it is. My mouth isn't really try, I'm just feeling it. Prickles. The music. How my heart pounds, How I feel the water on my head, how I hear the clicking of the keys. Just let it go. The wrirring and how I feel the vibrations. It's such a body high, It's bein able to move in any which way how you want. Moving and feeling alittle click click click as if you're a fan being held into place, where that thing with gerge bush “the gif” (kinda panicking a little, I felt it would keep going) and you feel like you're staying in place (so actually the reverse) oh my god it's the cookie all over again except better I just know it
    Yeah so that was interesting. It was also completely enjoyable, it didn't give me the crazies like the cookie did.
    Then two nights ago I am invited to go smoke a joint (which I have never done before), and throw down my weed (left over from my experimenting times). I smoke and to make a long story short, I feel good. I was very, very high, and if I had to describe it it's like I was really sociable and had a strong version of edibles while it was still enjoyable. At the same time, I don't remember specifics, though I can ask the people I was with. It might help that I was with people, otherwise I might have freaked out. Anyway, I loved it.
    Then last night, I'm invited again. This time it's my friend's weed which he just bought and hadn't tried before. I had never smoked twice in two days before but figured tolerance would make it not as strong. I pretty much just take two long drags and have a really, really bad coughing fit. And then it just.. goes.
    My sense of self. We're outside and have to walk back to the dorms, and I manage to. But the entire time, it felt like I was in a dream within a dream. Like nothing was reality. You know how when you wake up from a dream, for several seconds you're still trying to process what is going on, and you're kinda halfway between the realities? It was like that... but in reverse. Over and over and over. It was the epitome of "out of body experience". It was like I was returning to reality, but reality itself was my drugged up mind. And yet it felt so disgusting. When I was little, I would have night terrors, and while it's very hard to describe, there are points where you feel like you're playing a video game of yourself and you've never actually been alive, or able to control anything by yourself.
    Walking back was definitely the worst part of it, because there was no sense of me. I was not me! I acted like a very stoner me, and I could make reasonable deductions and decisions, like not tripping over stuff and I was able to say stuff like "hey, take a video of me, the future me will want to see it". (I did, and it would win an oscar.) But I was just not there. It was definitely like I was watching someone else do it, and a million other feelings that only someone who has done this can relate to.
    From there it gradually went down. The more it went down, the more pleasant it was. I recall being able to make some jerky movement, like suddenly moving my head, and going back into sobriety for a second or two. But other than that, I was in the passenger seat. I smoked at 10, felt okay to go back to my room at 1:30, woke up at 12, and it is currently 2 and I am still not right. I know there are a thousand feelings I felt that I wish I could describe, but there's no way to relate them. A few things I did say (and I can remember what I said, not as well what I felt) were:
    1: This is a chemical. I am chemicals. If they can do this to me, then what if I was just in the other direction? What if I didn't have any cannabinoid receptors when I was born? Would I be like this in reverse? so which is me?
    2: This too shall pass.
    3: When this is over, I have no idea how future me is going to react. Am I going to never smoke again because I know how horrible this is? Or will I try to be scientific about it?
    Anyway, I just wanted to share this with someone. As my friends described it, I was "high as balls". As I describe it, what the fuck?

  2. You are tripping yourself out way too bad man. Weed isn't for some people and that's probably you if you feel this bad when you do it.
    That's up to you. I don't see why you think it was horrible though. It seems like you may have gained a little more insight into things, and learned more about yourself. It didn't seem like the experience was very difficult at all while going through it...
  4. #4 bdk2jw, Jan 26, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 26, 2014
    bro why u so worried about it? i was just like u when i started (well maybe not as sketched and shit lol) and i gotta tell you honestly you need to stop getting caught up in these thoughts and shit. U really just need to not care, as long as u know that you're smoking pot then you're going to be fine, for sure. Just chill man lol
    bruh n u only took 2 hits off a joint. If it were a bong or even a bowl then maybe i'd feel u a little more but for real its just a joint lol joints aren't shit even at 0 tolerance 2 hits wouldn't even buzz me
    Not trying to be a douche, just trying to help you see that its all in your head.
  5. just sounds like dissociation..marijuana can bring out underlying psychological issues
  6. Found out that my friend put all the keif in the middle, and I might have gotten that part. Just saying.
    I defnitely gained some insight into things, and overall I would say the experience was very valuable because of that. In the words of Alexander Shulgin: "I learned there was a great deal inside me". Trust me though when I say that the walking back part was horrible. Maybe it's the fact that I can't just sit back and ignore my feelings, that I have to perform "sobriety" tests so to speak so my future self can take notes, but it was definitely very, very bad at the time. In actual real life time, it was only a few minutes, but it felt like I was having a never ending dream .
  7. #7 bdk2jw, Jan 26, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 26, 2014
    it may be possible, but even still. A lot of people overthink marijuana and thats when problems occur. I'm an analyzer, I look at something from every possible angle and try to determine the most logical result. If you do that with weed it will result in negative reaction, trust me, don't over think anything and everything will be fine. Make it simple. Friend offered you bud, you took 2 hits and felt good. That's all that happened bro
    I doubt this advice will change ur thinking in any way, and I doubt you're even gonna understand it just simply from me telling you it, I'm simply putting it out there lol. Eventually you'll realize what I told you was true, maybe a little different reality for you, but still. I'm just trying to save you the worry lol
  8. I think you just have to go with it. Sometimes I get so high when I smoke blunts my mouth gets numb and goes slack but I just laugh about it you know. It's just like you have to understand that you're okay and you're real and everything around you is still real. Find the humor in how high you are Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
  9. You would think you we're tripping on hallucinogens lol
  10. What the fuck did I just read....
  11. #11 Neegabutt, Jan 27, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2014
    Bro, I feel you on that. I personally got really really high when I first started smoking and it's scary when you first experience it. You seem really intelligent and obviously am looking at this experience analytically and also scientifically. From experience I would encourage you not to get too caught up in it. Just understand its safety and know it bares the fact that you can just get too high Sometimes. Nothing against the plant or the cannabinoid system or you, it just stands that too much for your tolerance can lead to some intense introspection coupled with paranoia and the result can be really lasting due to the sheer power of the super high experience.My gf got too high when I was getting her toes wet and the bad thoughts she had on it turned her away from herb for about 2 years until I finally just reconvinced her of its safety. Don't blame the buds cause it's just the level of consumption.Also, about the depersonalization. I feel you on the third person POV, video game feel. It's not pleasant sometimes and you are essentially dissociating and it can be freaky. Just be easy on your dosing since your tolerance will be really low starting out. To be honest and I'm sure a bunch of blades can attest, in a few years (cause you know you dig getting high) you're gonna look back with nostalgia on these crazy, pseudo-psychedelic highs and wish you could still get that high as balls.Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
  12. [quote name="bdk2jw" post="19410851" timestamp="1390765435"]bruh n u only took 2 hits off a joint. If it were a bong or even a bowl then maybe i'd feel u a little more but for real its just a joint lol joints aren't shit even at 0 tolerance 2 hits wouldn't even buzz meNot trying to be a douche, just trying to help you see that its all in your head.[/quote] most people dont smoke schwag lolSent from my SGH-I337M using Grasscity Forum mobile app
  13. There are many flaws at play with your statements. One cannot trip on marijuana as it does not have hallucinatory effects. You're experiences sound like heavy euphoria during your first times getting high. I recommend next time you try weed you find the best quality and sit down in a relaxed environment and enjoy a real high devoid of thoughts if halluciantionSent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum

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