I returned to my body... for the first time

Hello everyone. So I'm in my freshman year of college and these last few months have been a time of experimentation, to say the least. I first "really" got high through edibles in this experience back in September. Feel free to read the whole thing, but a great example of it is:
 
"You know how when you're falling asleep a million thoughts race through your head, and you have a weird floating sensation? It was like that times a thousand. I could feel a 3d map of the room and everything was moving and twisting and at the time, I'm pretty sure "I feel synesthesia" popped out of my mouth (but I have no idea how exactly that felt). My heart is pounding super fast and it feels like it's shaking my entire body. Suddenly my stomach feels like it's doing backflips and I race to the bathroom and vomit out my guts."
 
A few weeks later I got high but nowhere near that experience, and then over winter break I experimented several times with a friend's vaporizer. (I'm a very nerdy guy and would rather do that type of stuff than smoke). I happen to keep a diary of these times, and this is something I wrote:
 
"10:51
MARIJUANA LETS YOU HEAR THE MUSIC OF THE UNIVERSE. Post that somewhere, that's all it is. My mouth isn't really try, I'm just feeling it. Prickles. The music. How my heart pounds, How I feel the water on my head, how I hear the clicking of the keys. Just let it go. The wrirring and how I feel the vibrations. It's such a body high, It's bein able to move in any which way how you want. Moving and feeling alittle click click click as if you're a fan being held into place, where that thing with gerge bush “the gif” (kinda panicking a little, I felt it would keep going) and you feel like you're staying in place (so actually the reverse) oh my god it's the cookie all over again except better I just know it
"
 
Yeah so that was interesting. It was also completely enjoyable, it didn't give me the crazies like the cookie did.
 
Then two nights ago I am invited to go smoke a joint (which I have never done before), and throw down my weed (left over from my experimenting times). I smoke and to make a long story short, I feel good. I was very, very high, and if I had to describe it it's like I was really sociable and had a strong version of edibles while it was still enjoyable. At the same time, I don't remember specifics, though I can ask the people I was with. It might help that I was with people, otherwise I might have freaked out. Anyway, I loved it.
 
Then last night, I'm invited again. This time it's my friend's weed which he just bought and hadn't tried before. I had never smoked twice in two days before but figured tolerance would make it not as strong. I pretty much just take two long drags and have a really, really bad coughing fit. And then it just.. goes.
 
My sense of self. We're outside and have to walk back to the dorms, and I manage to. But the entire time, it felt like I was in a dream within a dream. Like nothing was reality. You know how when you wake up from a dream, for several seconds you're still trying to process what is going on, and you're kinda halfway between the realities? It was like that... but in reverse. Over and over and over. It was the epitome of "out of body experience". It was like I was returning to reality, but reality itself was my drugged up mind. And yet it felt so disgusting. When I was little, I would have night terrors, and while it's very hard to describe, there are points where you feel like you're playing a video game of yourself and you've never actually been alive, or able to control anything by yourself.
 
Walking back was definitely the worst part of it, because there was no sense of me. I was not me! I acted like a very stoner me, and I could make reasonable deductions and decisions, like not tripping over stuff and I was able to say stuff like "hey, take a video of me, the future me will want to see it". (I did, and it would win an oscar.) But I was just not there. It was definitely like I was watching someone else do it, and a million other feelings that only someone who has done this can relate to.
 
From there it gradually went down. The more it went down, the more pleasant it was. I recall being able to make some jerky movement, like suddenly moving my head, and going back into sobriety for a second or two. But other than that, I was in the passenger seat. I smoked at 10, felt okay to go back to my room at 1:30, woke up at 12, and it is currently 2 and I am still not right. I know there are a thousand feelings I felt that I wish I could describe, but there's no way to relate them. A few things I did say (and I can remember what I said, not as well what I felt) were:
 
1: This is a chemical. I am chemicals. If they can do this to me, then what if I was just in the other direction? What if I didn't have any cannabinoid receptors when I was born? Would I be like this in reverse? so which is me?
 
2: This too shall pass.
 
3: When this is over, I have no idea how future me is going to react. Am I going to never smoke again because I know how horrible this is? Or will I try to be scientific about it?
 
Anyway, I just wanted to share this with someone. As my friends described it, I was "high as balls". As I describe it, what the fuck?

 

Found out that my friend put all the keif in the middle, and I might have gotten that part. Just saying.
 
 

I defnitely gained some insight into things, and overall I would say the experience was very valuable because of that. In the words of Alexander Shulgin: "I learned there was a great deal inside me". Trust me though when I say that the walking back part was horrible. Maybe it's the fact that I can't just sit back and ignore my feelings, that I have to perform "sobriety" tests so to speak so my future self can take notes, but it was definitely very, very bad at the time. In actual real life time, it was only a few minutes, but it felt like I was having a never ending dream .