Ok so this is going to be pretty long, so bare with me if you can. Well I met this girl who is almost 5 years older than me and we have known each other for about 5 months? Well when I first met this girl, she told me she had a bf but she said they have been going on and off for years. Her and her bf have known each other for a LONG time, like they went to middle school and high school together, and she is 29 years old now. This is where things get kind of hard for me. When I first met this girl, she was going through ALOT of problems, with her bf, her mom, her friends, basically she was having a really rough time in her life and things seemed to be going really bad for her. Well I was there for her a lot of times, and her bf was never there for her at all. Even times when I hung out with her, she would tell me how her bf doesn't care for her and just all these bad things about him. When she was going through this, me and her got really close. Well she told me that she broke up with him and that she wasn't with him anymore, which was cool with me, but then she started acting like I was her bf towards me. I was ok with it but I really got attached to her, I would some nights spend the night at her place, sleeping with her in the same bed, cuddling, etc etc those kind of things. I really didn't plan on having any feelings for her and was cool with her as my friend. And to be truthful, ya we had sex a couple of times. Then in the beginning/middle of january, she got a eviction notice on her house and had to move. She was living with her mom as her roommate, but decided that she needed to move out to be on her own cause she can't stand living with her mom. Her and her mom have a lot of arguments and they get into really big fights with each other so she wants to move out on her own. WELL she found a place and the person who is renting out the room is a girl who has a bf. So her roommate asks my friend if she has a bf or not, and she told them that she does have a bf so she could rent out the room from the girl. I found out about a week later when I got to hang out with her again, that she tells me that she has to move into her new place with her bf and that they got back together. I knew that was going to happen since she has known him/been on and off with him for a long time, but things started to change. Now that she is going to move into the house with him, she spends most of her time with him now and we barely get to chill. When we do chill, we chill for a couple of hours, then she either has to go chill with another friend or I have to go cause her bf is coming. I'm ok with all of these since she told me in the beginning that she had a bf, but she treats me like I'm nothing. She says that she doesn't mind hanging out with me while she is with her bf and that the only two guys who have been there for her is me and her bf. She says she doesn't want to lose me and that I am considered one of her really good and close friends, but the way she treats me doesn't seem like it at all. She even told me that if her bf doesn't talk to her for the whole week, she goes crazy and that she can't think at all until she knows where he is. And really he does a lot of fucked up things to her, but she just takes it and doesn't care which I guess is understandable since they have known each other for a long time. I don't know what to do, should I keep hanging out with her? She says that since she is going to be moving in with her bf, that he won't be home all the time and then I can come over, but I feel like she just uses me when her bf isn't around. She even sometimes tell other people that I'm her bf and we still kiss each other on the lips and hold each other, but we haven't had sex in a while. I don't know I'm just really confused right now and I just needed to rant, sorry for the long read and hope you guys understood my story. Any input you guys have is appreciated, thanks
I know the feeling man. I was in the exact same position long ago. We stayed good friends until her and her bf got serious and we had to go other ways. We were close and said i love you a few times in serious situations and slept together etc. She wanted a 3 some but i wasn't down at the time. I mean i talk to a little bit but that's it. It really went nowhere and we lost our relationship. I mean it sounds terrible but she may be keeping you around for selfish reasons. I mean she gets attention when her man is away and affection and a good friend while you don't get much but toyed around. The question is are you ok with being used? i mean if you don't care just ride it out and get all the good times you can out of it. I'm not saying that's what happening but it may come to you having to pick either way. The other option is they split and she comes to you. Whether that will lead to anything or just a short term thing i can't say but just be careful and don't let her use to much of you feelings and patience.
