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I need to talk to someone. My parents dont trust me

Discussion in 'General' started by BRAINDENTITY, Feb 2, 2014.

  1. I had a harsh self realization earlier today. I just realized that my parents just don't trust me in general. And that's why I'm having a difficult time forming a relationship with them, cause when there's no trust there's nothing. Why I'm so bummed out about this because my parents distrust for me probably (only speculating) is because of what I probably did in my teen pubescent years. Which was nothing extreme and just your average angsty teen episodes. So they're basically holding onto that. And carrying it on to my adult life. It saddens me because I feel like i'm the most trust worthy person I know. And others trust me more than my own parents. Is it bogus for me to be saddened by my parents carried on distrust for me?
     
  2. nigga, everyone's parents distrust them, don't think you are special. My parent's have distrusted me since the day I was born.
     
  3. I'm with you bro.
     
  4. #4 UnsuspiciousUsername, Feb 2, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2014
     
  5. #5 BRAINDENTITY, Feb 2, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2014
    Thanks, I suppose I am one of those people that needs to be constantly reminded to not live in the past. I'm not at that point in my life any more like I was as an average teen. I also don't feel like I have to do anything and be like "hey guys look what I've done, see that I'm an adult now?" I feel like I've been through things and done things that should have shown them how I am now as an adult, but i feel like they may be choosing to over look that and are choosing to perhaps hold onto my past out of habit or convenience. It's making me create distance that I don't like. I can't have a conversation or relationship with them without feeling insulted. The sad part is they don't realize how they're insulting me. I just don't want this to be a taste of what my relationship with my parents is gonna be like as an adult.
     
  6. Thanks, your comment made me feel normal.
     
  7. Wait till the folks are old you get the fun of taking care of them. It will turn around 180 degrees.
    You will be their hero.
     
  8. WTF? You had a harsh realization? That was based on what? Honestly, the only time I felt like my parents didn't trust me was when I gave them reasons not to trust me. Even a parent won't blindly trust their child if that child has lied to them in the past. But you know if this seriously bothers you maybe try talking to them instead of us?
     
  9. Talk to them about it. Tell them what you told us, it's a start.
     
    Open and intelligent dialog could really help. You can show your desire to have a closer, more "adult," relationship. 
     
  10. #10 BRAINDENTITY, Feb 2, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2014
    Thanks. I have tried talking to them, but it never works. it always ends up seeming like I'm the parent and they're my offspring. I feel like they fear engaging in talking to me like an adult because it always appears to end up like I'm the superior one. Which is not at all what I'm trying to do. I'm just trying to talk to them like one adult to another, but they really seem like they can't handle that so they always divert to a comfortable safe zone tactic of conversation that they always fall back on or change the subject. It's gone to the point where I'm sick of trying to have a relationship with them. I don't want to distance myself any further away from them, but I feel I must and that it might be just the way it is for them. I tried. Maybe time will change things.
     
  11. Apologize for whatever you did, tell them that you feel horrible about it and the way that it has impacted your relationship. Tell them you don't want to lose them and will do whatever it takes to restore and maintain a healthy, close, and mutually beneficial relationship.
     
    If they have any parenting skills/ a heart then they will work with you.
     
  12. Macka's right. Talk to your parents as an adult, tell them how you feel, truly deep down how you feel. Treat them the way you want to be treated and you'll maybe start to see a change. Keep in mind though these things don't just change overnight.
     
  13. My mom says she trusts me but doesnt really. I just prove her wrong as much as i can about me, almost turned into a game i cant lose. better i do it benefits me and keeps her happy!
     
  14. No doubt, we know wassup. ^

    but the struggles will pay off brother. Just keep it real with them. 100%.. & Once their elderly, it will be your god given opportunity to turn around & serve your folks that supplied for you thru out your life. Take that opportunity, the joy would be great
     
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