I Need To Start Living.

There's no such thing as living without regret. I know that all of the white knights of GC are going to potentially give me some shit for saying this, but what you and a lot of people describe to me, is actually just a fixed perception of what "living" actually is. You've grown up with so much privilege, at least so much more than the majority of the planet, that your pampered skill sets and fundamental understanding of the world around you, makes what you have and have experienced already, seem dull. You're deluded into thinking that struggling for a paycheck, living just to get by, doing things you don't necessarily want to do, etc, means that you aren't "living". That's the definition of living, and always has been. Adversity is the sculptor of man. Regret is inescapable if you intend on living a life of any real substance. Your fuck ups are a central component to your personal evolution and the conjuring of your self. "Fun", "happiness", or any other vague constructs, are all temporary in nature, and shouldn't serve as some ultimate goal line. If you're gonna chase the dragon forever, you can. You might spend all your time having fun and "living life" only to find that when you come down off of cloud 9, that everyone else is further ahead in it and enjoying it more than you. Because while they were somewhat grounded, you threw caution to the wind based on a naive notion of "being free", when you're really just trying to shrug off responsibility and the predictability of your own lifestyle. That would just be another regret brought on by your decision to attempt to live without them. If you want to go out and see the world; see the world. If you want to pursue your passions, you should. But don't think that being "happy" or having "fun", isn't something that comes with a lot of effort and work on your part, and a lot of that work is the shit you're trying to run from.