I Need Some Help Blades.

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by xrooneygoalx, Jan 12, 2011.

  1. Alrighty then. Im a bit tipsy so when's a better time then now? Here it goes.

    Ive been with this girl for two years in March. I love her, without a doubt. She loves me, without a doubt. For our age, we're pretty damn serious in terms of what we've discussed about of futures together and shit like that. However, we've yet to fuck. I know, tell me about it. On a scale of 1-10 she's probably a 5. She wont let me smoke (I do anyways). She freaks out when I do anything, such as talk, with another girl. She has serious confidence,trust and fear issues. I've tried to help her with all of them over the past two years, all to no avail. Of course these are all the negatives. She certainly has positives too.

    However, I think I may have convinced myself into loving her and committing myself so heavily to her. Should I stay with her? I don't know what to do. Lately I've been feeling like I could do better, ya know? Somebody who will accept my smoking and who I am.

    What to doooo?
     
  2. damn. how old are you? you have been with her for 2 years and haven't had sex yet??

    I know i'm too horny and if I was with a girl for that long and we were not having sex even if I loved her I wouldn't be very happy.

    and on top of that. she doesn't like you smoking so she doesn't seem very compatible with you.

    I'm not saying you should leave her. if you actually love her then imo you can make things work. like talk to her about the smoking issue. if she loves you i'm sure she can come to accpet it.
     
  3. first dump her. ive been in a similar situation with a girl who dissaproved of my toking habit and never wanted me to leave her sight. always wanted to take me from my friends to talk or argue hated other girls and god forbid i talked to one. even if i knew them first. so i dumped the bitch. and a girl like that doesnt love or even like you they like the idea of you might even love it. but they get angry when you break the mold even for a second.
    if you value your individuality id say dump her. im sure she hates your friends and despises everything you love that doesnt involve her and loves to argue about it. even if im wrong in that assumption it will prolly happen soon cause what you are describing is what i started with
    bitches arent worth the hitches is my motto :cool:
     
  4. I kind of disagree. if he's been with her for 2 year and they haven't even had sex there must be something that has kept him with her.

    but on the other hand if you aren't happy there is no point in being with her longer. what are you going to do? hide your smoking forever and do things behind her back and be someone else around her?
     
  5. yea to each his own but i stayed with that bitch for as long as i did because i was familiar with her. maybe same can be said of him?
     
  6. Dude.. You're on a weed forum asking about help to a girl thats against smoking. It's like asking the AA's how to get most drunk as possible.

    My advice to you man: Dump her. You say that you've been together for 2 years, yet, you can't give us a reason for why. You just say: "There's gotta be a reason.."
    Now, with the whole sex thing i pretty much don't care. The problem is her issues with confidence, fear, jealousy and so on. In the end, there will be more problems than good times. You gotta ask yourself: Is it worth it? Keeping secrets from eachother, toking up in secrets, not talking to other girls. Just.. To be with a girl you cant even sleep with? I have respect for you man, for sticking out that long.

    I think, the reason why you've stucked out that long, is because she's a good friend for you. If you were to be her boyfriend, she would accept you, just excactly as you were. Try this: Say to her, that you been smoking weed for the past two years, and you ain't planning to stop regardless what she says. You've already accepted her, why shouldn't she be able to accept you if she loves you? It sound to me, like you just need the comfort from a woman. But as mentioned before: Do you really think it's worth it?
     
  7. move on bro. it's never easy, but life becomes so good a few months after..

    and you'll never see it till you try.

    i've been in two relationships, both lasted over two years, and both girls had some kind of trust issue in one way or another. AND we had sex, which brings two people closer and helps eliminate that trust issue for some people. listen to my advice and trust me man
     

  8. I'm almost 19. She's my first serious girlfriend. I just dont know if I've convinced myself into loving her and believing all the things I do about our future together.


    I dont think she hates my friends. I know she's a genuinely a good person. Probably the most innocent and loyal person I know. The souther church girl type at first, but as she's spent more time with me she's become more relaxed in her views. But now she's hit a standstill. She's at this awkward point where she still holds onto her religion yet still wants to make me happy and that shit just doesnt work.


    Yea I dont know. I just dont want my life to be like this forever. I just keep hoping she'll change like she promises. She changes, but ever so slightly and ever so slowly.



    Thanks. I've never cheated on her, never even kissed another girl. But she's still paranoid about me around other women. I think alot of it is the comfort of a woman part. Lately I've been feeling like I can do better. However, I still care deeply about her and just straight up leaving would be so hurtful. Honestly, she would be ripped to shreds inside man. She cant take me leaving for vacation for a week without crying. I cant imagine what breaking up would do to her. She's convinced Im the one for her man. I thought vice versa as well for a while so I perpetuated her beliefs. How shitty would that be of me to just say it was all bullshit now?


    Thanks bud. I'll take what you said into consideration.
     
  9. Please help ma dudes. I'm hurtin.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBPGm4Fbo0Q&feature=related]YouTube - The Black Keys "Just Got To Be"[/ame]
     
  10. Considering shes your first serious gf,you may just need to move on man.Sometimes it takes a couple tries to find the one youre truly happy with.Shes doesnt even want you talking to another girl,doesnt let you smoke and has trust issues.Sounds to me like she has control issues as well to go along with it.In all,just doesnt sound like you guys are very compatible.

    No sex after being with her for 2 years is pretty rough too.Physical attraction/interaction is just as important for a happy relationship as emotional IMO.

    Youre only 19 though man,youve got plenty of time to find someone youre happier with.

    BTW what are her positives?Just seems like its all negatives..
     

  11. There is sexual intimacy, just not sex. Everything up to sex. We used to be so compatible. Everything was flawless an perfect. I cant even remember us fighting at all until after a year together.

    Positives:
    1. The absolute most loving person in the world.
    2. She's a good influence and keeps me on the right track.
    3. She keeps me motivated and driving for what I want.
    4. She used to make me happy ALL the time.
    5. We connect. We have so many inside jokes and little quirks.
    6. Socially, we are the same in terms of what we like to do.
    7. Sounds bad, but her father is very wealthy and that could be useful later on in life.
    8. She's extremely thoughtful.
    9. She's extremely loyal. Never EVER would I even consider her cheating on me.
    10. Since we met, we've never had an awkward moment.

    Thats just a few.
     
  12. it stings bro but outside of the loyalty you can find those traits in a lot of girls you'll end up dating. i felt the same way toward my last two ex's, and i was at the same point you are.

    it really comes down to if you have to ask, it's not worth it anymore.. period. when you find someone who is truly right for you you're thinking about all the ways you can keep her, not about your options
     

  13. I dig that my man. Up until a year ago that is all I thought of. How to keep her. Now, things are just so much different. Am I wasting my time hoping things will go back?
     
  14. people are always changing. forward. never backward. otherwise we'd live in caves again
     

  15. You need to sit down and have a serious discussion with her. Everything I bolded is not a sign of a healthy relationship.
    You should not have to hide the fact you smoke from her. She should accept the fact that you smoke. She doesn't have to like it, but just accept it.

    I am not really going to question the not sleeping with her in two years part. But it has long gone past the bit where it is "sweet and cute" that you two have not done it. Having passion in the relationship (in the bed) is integral to a healthy ongoing relationship.

    Unless you have given her reason, she should not worry about you talking to other girls. She should trust you, and you trust her the same. I think you need to talk about this to her, as it can severely dent your social life...

    I hope you sort things out buddy, but I know you won't unless you actually talk to her and clear things up. If things don't improve, I would say that you two should go your own separate ways as you are obviously not happy
     
  16. TWO YEARS & NO SECKS!? :eek:


    Have you even seen what shes workin with? I hope so bro cuz you could be dealing with a fucking gentleman!:laughing:
     

  17. Everything with her revolves around with fear. Sex wise, she fears pregnancy, the possibility of her parents somehow finding out, if god exists what he'd think and possibly do, how it may negatively impact us.

    I do trust her entirely. She goes to parties and stuff and I say "have fun" and let her be on her way. If I did the same as she it'd be constant talking throughout the party with her and belittlement. About six months ago there was a girl I was talking to. Mind you, just talking. No ill thoughts from either party. I decided not to tell my girlfriend about it because I knew she'd freak. Lo and behold she finds out. Thats the ONLY thing I've ever done with a girl or not to defy her trust man.

    Fuck me.
     

  18. Haha yes. We've done EVERYTHING up to sex. She's a bit of a freak almost haha. Just not willing to take the final step.
     

  19. Bingo!
     
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