I need some advice on a girl

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Cudi Get 20, Oct 22, 2009.

  1. Alright so I am a sophmore in college right now and just hung out with this girl who I have been good friends with for a long time. Heres the breakdown:

    I met her in middle school, yada yada yada we ended up being best friends until we were junior or seniors in high school. We were still friends, we just didnt talk or hang out as much as we did before and nothing serious happened between us yet. She convinced me to atttend a college with her because I didn't know where I wanted to go, so I said I would look into it and I ended up choosing it because its one of the few places I got accepted. We hung out sometimes freshman year, every time we did we smoked. This girl has known to have "boy bitches" meaning she gets stuff out of them, I guess is the best way of saying it. Anyways, we have been smoking alot more this year together, and this past week we were planning on hang out and smoking a blunt, but I was at a party.

    We had been texting each other trying to plan a way to smoke, and the topic of beer pong came up and she sent me a text saying "Next time you play beer pong you should let me be your partner, haha Im reallly good I must admit it". Normally I wouldnt think anything of that, but we had been texting each other again throughout the week and we were planning on smoking tonight. Well I was at a play for school for a class and we decided we would smoke afterwards. She was bowling with her big brother and there friends, and she told me I should take her bowling one night soon, so that got me to thinking what shes trying to do.

    Her asking to play beer pong with me, and then asking me to take her bowling.. should that mean she might want to be more then friends.. or am I just overthinking things right now? She SEEMS to be acting different around me then she used to normally, but I dont really know because we have been such good friends for a long time. What should I do with this?? Right now I am just going along with everything she says, not expecting anything to happen. I dont want to miss out on this because I have had feelings for her a couple of times but nothing serious and she never knew.
     
  2. she is totally flirting with you. and playfully trying to get closer because she is pretty much saying she wants to go do those things with you on a date. if you have known her for a while i doubt she would make you into her boy bitch haha. i think you should take her bowling and play beer pong after back at your place...:)
     
  3. Okay, you suspect your own feelings are fucking up your thoughts so keep asking yourself if that's going on as I answer you.

    My first thought is this: remember the "boy bitch" shit,

    From what she said, she seems to express an interest in you. Ask yourself what you want, and also try to understand her pattern with men. If she has cheated before, she will almost certainly cheat on you eventually. If she's a cheater, then you need to know whether you can stand up and weather that, because cheaters rarely change their pattern, meaning if she cheats, your relationship will end with a betrayal.

    If you can live with that, then live your live with her without abandon. Enjoy it while you can.

    Understand that I generalized her personality type, and a human being easily defies this type of generalization. For all I know, you two end up together. Just don't be a rube. Don't ignore the signs.

    Bottom line, if you think you have a shot, take the best shot you can, and hope for the best. Just don't expect the best.
     
  4. An important detail you left out - do you have feelings for her now, at this time?

    But don't get played, man. Do you think she's trying to play you or what? Would you get with her even if you didn't have feelings for her?
     
  5. #5 Cudi Get 20, Oct 22, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2009
    Well I think I made boy bitch sound really bad. She hasnt been known to cheat, and I dont really know much about her past relationships. But its just weird because we didnt hang out THAT much before college, and we have never made a move towards each other. Shes in a sorority that parties allll the time, but she hates all the guys in the frats here (we are in a different state then we live in back home).

    Idk though, I think I am going to just roll with everything she says to me and see if I can find any signals.. or If we ever do go bowling I will should be able to figure it out. I think I am more scared that I THINK she likes me, when she is really just using me for weed. When we have smoked I probably have brought the weed 70% of the time and her the rest of the time and those have been the only times we have really hung out without a bunch of ppl. She is also very pretty and a model for some big company, and its not that I dont have the confidence, but I just dont see why she would suddenly start doing this when we have only smoked and hung out a few times a month.

    Edit: I dont think she would play me, but then again she could be since I usually smoke her out. She is known to be a horny girl from what her ex boyfriend, who I am friends with, told me.. if that even matters lol. But idk its just fucking weird, you know? I dont have feelings for her now, I mean shes really pretty and real sexy, and yes I would def. make a move but Im just not expecting or trying to at the moment because I never really thought about trying it.
     
  6. Maybe she does like you.

    I'm thinking of all the ways to find out, but the best answer seems to just to explore it and find out,

    The worst case is you're wrong, But the positive is that you end up knowing you were wrong, I'm no guru or anything, but trust me when I say this: it's better to know,

    If you want her, then chase her.
     
  7. Haha yeah.. its my best option. Ill just see what happens the next time we hang out maybe try to make a move idk. But thanks for all the responses!!
     
  8. Well, get your head together & decide if you want to pursue her, and if you have feelings for her, If you think of her as relationship material or a one night stands or what...

    But regardless, try to zero in on subtle hints and flirtation.
     
  9. I mean I could def. see her as a relationship type because she is one of the few girls I know who likes to just chilll and smoke weed, while also not being a slut when she is around other guys. But this is college, and I doubt she is looking for a relationship right now so I think the best thing for me to do at the moment is do what yall have recommened, and just try to see if she gives any more hints or anything the next couple of times we hang out.
     
  10. She's playing you...... :)


    That's just from a girl's perspective.
     
  11. Lol, so it would be good just to act as normal as possible around her then, and basically make her come to me if she really does like me? I still have a feeling shes just playing games, but girls are so hard to understand and I will never completely understand them! :rolleyes:
    Will see how the next week goes, and Ill let her be the first to talk before I say anything.
     
  12. Arlight well the time has come for us to hang out again. She texted me yesterday morning wanting to blaze, but I couldnt pick any up until today. I really feel like now that she is just playing me, so what should I do? I asked her if she had any, and she told me no but she had called her guy and he was going to call her back. I asked her if she wanted me to ask my guy and she told me no, and now she has said that her guy hasnt called her back.

    I want to play the same games back with her, but honestly do not know what to do in this situation because she could a) being playing me or b) really does want to hang out. I told her that after I went to this thing for my class tonight that I would call her and see what was going on later tonight, so should I just not call her? Blades, whats the best way to turn this around into a favorable outcome for me?
     
  13. let us know what happens if you do hang out with her. i'll subscribe
     
  14. The "more than friends" thing is a highly subjective idea. Do you mean a relationship? If you do, then we can't really help you. No matter how much you tell us, we can't know what goes on between you. If you mean just sex, then all I could say is to stop asking yourself (or us) and start seeking the answer: make some moves. If she is asking you to spend time with her, then as far as I'm concerned you can do so with confidence.
     
  15. yeahh i think I was just "freaking out" or anxious or something when I first made this thread. I thought about everything yall have told me and have planned it out. Im just going to see how things go when we hang out, if she gives me an oppurtunity to make a move I'll do it, otherwise time will tell if were going to be more then friends. Thanks for all the advice everyone, and I will let ya'll know if anything happens!
     
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