theres people like me. its a shame. no one deserves this. exept this guy. im locked up for life in this cell. my cells. my brain. my blood. my body. and my heritage.my future. present. and past. i come here with an open heart and open mind. everyday. im not looking for worries, sadness, or someone to feel my feelings. not someone to care, worry or want me. i don't want attention and i don't deserve any, anyways. if i was a man, the man i claim to be. i wouldn't be. i love everyone, and everything good that happens to this earth, and the people involved. Ive got this girl, i held onto for just in case. she moved on. she is her own self ,a prize. i should have been with her from the start, not cared about how it looked, or what people felt. she is what i think about. what i want. i cant be with her, its tainted now. its funny how you go from her being a stupid fall back girl, but in the end. i got it all back on me. its funny how it works. i want to do it all over again knowing what i know now. but instead ima sit in my room for hours. putting this stuff in my nose or whatever i can get ahold. I know this site doesn't want drug talk. i respect that, i respect everyone. i just have nowhere else to go. ive tried talking to everyone i know, and no one is picking up. ive always been here, and ill never leave. insomnia is a bitch. i haven't slept in days. i picture my demise... and its more bright than my future. this is not a poem im not a poet, im not anything but a disaster. sorry guys. i just had to type exactly what i was feeling. this just all flowed out. im really not feeling right at all... i just hope somone might relate and might possibly have some words of inspiration. because i dont have any motivation. and im worn out from life, even tho i do nothing pretty much all day. i go to school, work part time. other then that i see a few guy friends and shit. and girls that are friends sorta. but everyone dislikes me i think especially girls. im gross. and dumb. and goofy. and of course super fucking gross.