I Need an Excuse for Calling Out of Work Tomorrow

24 hour flu. The shits.

 

say you got aids. then you have excuse for any time you want to call in.

 

you woke up and you had a flat
your car battery died
you are going through some person problems and need a day off to resolve said issue

 

Call him now and be like, hey im sorry I forgot I have court tomorrow for a speeding ticket a few months back

 

* Employee didn’t want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
* Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
* Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was “all better now.”
* Employee donated too much blood.
* Employee’s dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
* Employee was kicked by a deer.
* Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
* Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
* Employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
* Employee’s toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
* Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.
* Employee’s psychic told her to stay home.

 

You have to go down to Flordia because your Aunt died from breast cancer.

 

swine flu

 

Where do you work/what do you do?

When I want to take a day off I call in and say "Hey, taking the day off, call me if there is an emergency."

Don't lie about something. That's bad.

 

win. you sir are a winner.

if you don't say you have aids i lose all respect for you OP.

 

tell them you had an unfortunate accident during a one night stand and hurt your penis and you needed to go to boston and get it fixed. if they ask you why theres no scar just say they went down your urethra with a tube. nuff said, in fact they probably won't ask you to begin with.
theres also the "i was forceably sodomized by a hobo" story. they won't even ask.

 

be honest dude. tell that fat fuck you're stoned and way to lazy to come in. then walk in monday like it never happened. (seinfeld style)

 

swine flu should work man...

just tell em a friend you been hangin out with all week just swine flu so tell em your going to get tested asap

 

Tell them you won the lottery and you have to go pick up the check

 

tell him that u had a boner and a girl sat on you too fast and bent it and now you fuck standing sideways and you need to go to boston to get it fixed

 

Tell them that you're trying to fix your car so that you can go to a Marijuana festival during the weekend.

 

i 2nd that swine..but just say that you have symptoms you need checked out

 

tell em' you were assraped by a falcon.

 

have a friend call and tell them you were hit by a car