So here's the thing. I come from one of those families, one I'm sure a lot of folks come from. Broken, argumanitive, etc.. A lot of times - most of the time, rather. I don't feel, "here." Like a ghost. I have felt this way for a very long time, I am 30. So long that it doesn't even occur to me how I act. Which is emotionally distant from lovers, extremely forgetful, I never remember anything. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm just lazy and incapable of being a good partner. Now the real kicker. I, very rarely smoke marijuana. I have extremely tight muscles and with the type of work (commercial electrician) I do I am completely in pain all day, everyday. So some nights, I pack my bowl, kick back with a Black & Tan Yeungling and try to relax. I get pretty relaxed. My mind, sort of, "comes back" and a lot of the time I'm telling significant other just how sorry I am that she has to deal with me. It's almost like I am Scrooge, floating around in the past and watching myself, how I act and talk, and I'm sorry. Anyone know what that's about? Anyone also feel the same?
Get out a enjoy Life while you still can You can make it more enjoyable and only you can do it. Pain sucks but use your mind to over power it try not to work so hard Im the same way but old now and have many regrets.
Might be able to find an ear on the silk road. I am not sure if you could stitch an ear onto your head though without the body rejecting it. Good luck in your search!
I came from broken family, too, so none of that makes any of us special. I've never had the privilege nor the social skills to find a compatible partner, either, so in that sense, you're already way ahead of me. I'm a fucking ghost, too, for what is worth. An unwelcome presence, everywhere I go. I may look cute, approachable, but within a couple of minutes of interacting with people - they can instantly tell that I'm not like everybody else. Some people call it autism, others call it bipolar.. or ADHD. To me, it's a lot more simple than it seems; I just don't belong to this world. The gods had a radically different plan for my soul. But, you see, I've already embraced the darkness, long ago.. and I wouldn't swap my existence for anybody else's. As long as I stay away from people, my existence will be rich and peaceful. That was the pact I made with the gods. I still sing karaoke, I still shower, I still play with my cat, I still play video games, I still grow a jungle in my backyard, I still go to nightclubs, I still make booze at home, I still have a YouTube channel with lots of views and likes. So no, you're not the only raging psychopath here. And welcome to Grasscity.com, by the way! p.s. Luckily, I'm not a pedophile, serial killer or school shooter. I just grow weed, and download movies.
I hear ya brother, maybe you've got some mental issues that a good therapist or LCSW could help you with...ain't no shame in seeking help when feeling out of control, just think of it like you're stopping at a gas station to ask for directions, no big deal. If you're in physical pain 'constantly' look into massage therapy, stretches, trigger point release, shit just breathing exercises can help. I'm guessing you've been in pain for a good while and are stuck in a bit of a cycle where either your mind or body start to give off alerts of discomfort and you start thinking about the pain, which makes it more acute and thus you think more about the pain...and on down the rabbit hole you go, mind and body flooding your system with a self defeating cycle. I've been there, still am, work on it daily...something that helps me is just recognizing how I'm feeling and trying to let it go, like 'gee, I feel really anxious' and instead of trying to analyze WHY I just take a moment to recognize that it's there and literally tell myself it's there and that I'm going to move forward and just let it be there, not pretend it's not present but not attempt to think it away...just allow it to be there and consciously decide to move forward...engage your brain to utilize pathways that are less destructive, create new patterns...shine on you crazy diamond lol. Good luck OP
What the hell Jane? I thought I was close to being normal, but you have more of a life than me. What kind of booze you make? Link to your you tube channel? Which way to the lonely thread???
Remember that yourself, like the rest of us, are here for a reason whether we know it or not. I know that I am, and my reason is to help people. Although on the outside to most people I'm an asshole, too serious, and crazy. And I tend to get pissed off easily about things, especially when I see things happening in other peoples lives and not mine, and I have to figure out why. Like right now, I'm trying to figure out why all the 18-19 year old girls at work are flirting with my friend, who is 30 years old and married and has a baby, and can be very manipulative of women (lots of lies, they all fall for it) and he also sells smoke (which without me, he wouldn't have anything to sell), and im single, 20 years old trying to live a good life with a good heart and good intentions. I used to be a very mean person (used to sell unmentionable drugs, and used them), and couldve cared less who I hurt, as long as I got what I wanted, now I'm trying to change but it's like I'd be better off living the way I used to. It's hard when things aren't going the way you want them too, but you and I have to remember that WE create our own reality. You just have to figure out how to change yours, and it will happen. If smoking weed makes you physically feel better, then use it more often! Just don't become too dependent on it mentally.
People say ADHD, and bipolar, and autism because they don't know anything about it. Everybody is quick to shove a kids mouth with medication but not really question it. I, like yourself, feel like I belong somewhere else other than earth with humans. I see things that other people can't like the energy in the air, I know when people are lying to me, I can hear the energy in the air, i can sense other entities, i have dreams of things that come true in my future, i can sense when people are behind me, I am sensitive to positive and negative vibrations, I can literally feel peoples emotions, and it sucks not being able to turn it off sometimes, so I have to go and be alone for fear of a mental breakdown or unexplained rage. If i went to a doctor, they would probably tell me I'm crazy and feed me pharmaceuticals, when I'm probably more sane and alive then my fucking peers! There is a lot behind the veil, if you choose to look.
I am the same way, mental illness has divided my family in ways that are just crazy to think about. Varying opinions on how this persons illness should be handled are disregarded, which pisses me off since i am a professional on the subject and know exactly what i am talking about, while the guardian does not. I've considered taking legal action against my own family over it many times and maybe i will, however that means all ties would be cut. Pretty crazy, but don't resort to other drugs to deal with your distance towards others.. Went down that road myself, ended up learning a lot from it, more than i ever wanted to. Some days are a struggle, but with my job, i am able to help people and through helping people, i am able to help myself.. Selfishly selfless. Make your friends your family and don't push your burdens you have from your family onto your kids.. <--- Most parents justify doing stupid bullshit to their kids by saying "Well they did that to me and look how i turned out!" .....smh
Not really. If you said I can feel energy fine I will believe that. Your saying you can literally see and hear energy. What im saying is that can be a brain tumour messing up your brain.
No there are thousands of people that can see the things i do. Its more of a thing that I can choose to see, I forgot to include that.
I feel just as sorry as those that don't know what it's like to be alone. To always define themselves by the relationships they are in. I have no excuse, no broken family. Yet I am alone. I push people away. IDK. Embrace who you are.