This is completely unrelated to our baby Miss Mary Jane, but i wanted to get some objective advice. So, i have a girlfriend. She's 32 and I'm 25. She also has 4 kids. I have none. She was divorced around 2012, and we've been together since March 2016. Now, recently, her check from her work was garnished for child support. I'm still building my life, and was recently hired at a solar energy company after working for UPS. Her car is broken down, and she lives with me. I love her and she loves me what feels like twice as much. IYO whaaaat in di fck do i do?! Should i stay with her knowing I'll have to carry her or is it ok to just continue on? Help me out here! Sincerely, TxPornado Sent from my LGMS428 using Tapatalk
If she is your soulmate, money is no object. You will die for her. Now on the other hand, if shes a gold diggin bitch that is using you for what little money you have, then dump her.
Tough call. Tell her you are not ready to be sole provider for her family and that she needs to support herself. If you died in a car accident what would she do? She cannot rely on you to support the 5 of them.
Thanks for replying with advice! I want to take this time to clarify that she does not have her kids with her, which is why her ex husband has her on child support, now. Sent from my LGMS428 using Tapatalk
Typically kids go with the mother, if all 4 are with the father you may ask yourself why this is. Thing is, if you get married and she doesnt work, the child support will come out of your check (if i am not mistaken). Same goes with any financial liabilities like debt, loans etc. I am 29 with a 40yr old who has 3 kids, one livea on their own, one lives with us and the other lives with us part time and with the dad part time. She cannot work anymore due to disability. Just letting you know our situations have some similarities.
Gotta wonder why her kids are not with her ...? Would get out of that situation op. Go make your own babies and don't raise someone else's. it's her responsibility and she doesn't even have rights to her kids...? How many good mothers do you know are in that situation? Not many. So op you gotta take a second look at this situation
And you haven't even been dating that long... and your living with her and shit ? I sense a level 7 gold digger
Right on. Our dating lives are pretty similar. She doesn't have the kids bc her ex husband is a lawyer. He makes a lot more than she did/does, and could better take care of the kids, financially at least. Sent from my LGMS428 using Tapatalk
She Pays child support , she does NOT have the kids That money will come out of her check no matter where she works until each child reaches majority age . If you love her its no different than her working a lesser job as far as money is concerned . Now how do you feel about her getting her kids back ? Living with HER 4 kids ? Most women want their children . So this may be in your future . Good luck
Maybe the three of you can talk it out and write up a contract. If he is making that much he probably doesnt need financial support, so maybe agree to supporting them in other ways? Maybe you could agree to buy gold coina or cd's to help them buy a house or a car later in life or go to college? Or just feel him out, 4 kids is a lot, maybe taking them on vacation so he can get some time off or whatever. As far as my situation, yes its tough, but she loves me as much as anyone could, though it may be easier for be not to be with her, i ask myself what i would do if i were in her shoes. I know i give her a better life than she would have without me, i like to think this sort of selflessness could heal our damaged world, so i play my small role.
Right right right... Tbh, i emphasized us having a friendship bc i really like her as a person. Now, with the child support, and hearing her ex-husband tell her "get your fckng shit together" on speakerphone, the relationship feels like a disease to my life. Before moving with me, she lived with her aunt about 5 min away. tbh, ive been thinking about having her move back with her aunt, and only visiting me or staying a few nights. I'm not on foodstamps or anything so feeding her every day is tough. I got her off of mdma/molly tabs(6 a day sometimes) and switched her over to a multivitamin. She's been doing better, but it feels like a lost cause. I just dont know guys. Its my friend and i dont wanna give up on her. But arent i leading her on if i let it just continue? Sent from my LGMS428 using Tapatalk
I would write her a letter, this allows her to read and process it before reactin, as opposed to verbally telling her which may change what or how you tell her. Explain you love her as a person and a friend but you need to pursue your life before you can integrate others into your life. Idk?
Op sounds like to me that's a situation and drama that is not needed in YOUR life sometimes you have to realize you gotta look out for yourself. Because there is every indication that she is feeding off your generosity and that's not being fair to yourself. Hope you make a good decision for yourself and get the fuck out of that situation.