Is that bad? Btw, I am a 19 year old male living in New Zealand, going to university next year. When sober, I am quite a sociable person. I enjoy hanging out with people, and have no trouble talking to new people. When I am high, I can get quite withdrawn and I don't talk much (Well, I am high), when I was in high school and hanging around with people 2-5 years older than me (I was 17, they were 18-24) I could get quite bad social anxiety when I was high. A few of these older people whom I would hang out would be antagonistic towards me, but the majority liked my presence. The thing that has stuck with me though, was this conflict I had with a guy called Taylor. I had known Taylor since primary school, and he was one of those guys who I would look up to in high school, I would have the occasional conversation with him at HS, one of those older dudes who would act slightly like a mentor towards you, I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about. Taylor lived at a flat with some of my other older friends, and I would usually venture up there for a piss-up and a blaze. One time I went up there, only to have Taylor tell me to "get out of his house, because he only wanted a quiet night with the bros". Cue sadness. Another time, probably two months after this, I turned up with a new haircut (#swag) and he told me "Nice bro you got a shitty haircut to match your shitty personality". I had never experienced dislike on this scale before, and it has stuck with me ever since. I've been sort of depressed lately. Sometimes it feels like I am the one who hits my friends up to hang out, and they never ask me to hang out or anything. I noticed I've been drinking a lot more. I used to get drunk occasionally, and sometimes I would just enjoy the occasional beer. But now I will drink a beer, and I feel slightly...disappointed if I'm not getting drunk. I've found I don't enjoy the act of drinking much , just the feeling of getting drunk. I mean, I'm not drinking everyday. But the girl whom I am currently pursuing (known her for a year, been almost best friends that entire time, not in the "friend-zone" way but in the "friends who don't want to tell each other that they like each other" way, no I am not deluding myself, I know she likes me, it's just I lack testicles) has been talking with one of my best friends, and apparently they were talking about my "problems", one of these being how much I drink. People seem to like me more when I'm drunk. One of my good friends once said to me "You're so much funnier when your drunk", and I can tell that some of my other friends are much nicer to me when I'm drunk, simply because I stand up for myself a lot more, and assert myself (maybe I'm a doormat?) I woke up one morning, having drunk a lot of gin that night (by myself), and found a message that I had written when I was drunk. The message said "People like you way better when you're drunk, try act like me more". I've been contemplating going to the doctor and telling him about my anxiety and depression, but in the end I end up feeling like it's not serious, and I shouldn't tell anyone. I mean, I still feel happy when I'm doing the things I like doing, or when I'm hanging out with my close friends. But other times, everything feels pointless. I know my problems might seem insignificant compared to the others that some might have. But I really desire some advice, from the world-weary, grizzled stoners that I know frequent these boards
You guys give horrible advice to someone in need. Stop relying on alcohol to feel confident. Find it somewhere else. Do something you enjoy and are good at, and get better. Find a relationship that is beneficially for you, not just the other person, and have them give you social support. It seems like you are trying to be like people who are nothing like you. You, a nice kid, are envious of dick head guys and girls who talk shit behind your back. No amount of alcohol will make you as big of a douche bag Get better friends What is worse.. using such a crutch to alter your personality deemed faulty by a series of idiots? Or that you looked up to these idiots in the first place.. Not for me to say.. but both are not healthy. You did nothing wrong. I am not trying to make it personal, I am just angry at kids like your friends who get off on treating people as subhuman.
Fuck that Taylor dude. find a group of friends who will appreciate you man. They're out there. Seeing a doctor wouldn't hurt either. All it can do is help
I honestly only read the title of the thread as well, that being said all I can say is alcohol effectively does its job when you're trying to feel jolly after a couple of drinks but if you make it something you rely on that'll definitely fuck you up in the long run. Remember, a cold beer a day keeps the heart doctor away. ~ I'm Blazed.
Well...We are stoned. Besides that, what's the point in giving advice that typically won't be taken anyway...Shit, let the man drink himself to death. I like taking score at The Gates anyway.
Why do you even bother commenting if you're just gonna make some passive-aggressive quip and not offer op any advice at all? Op, drinking a lot is fun and will make you think that its solving all of your issues with yourself and social interaction etc. Take my word for it, it doesn't take long before the alcohol exacerbates any problems you may have had before you started drinking, even if it seems to cure them initially.
I love how useless the comments are from posters that have such an abundant count of posts. Find some friends OP that like you for YOU and not the drunk you. If one of my friends said what taylor said then I wouldn't ever talk to him ever again. Like pot toker said, alchol won't solve your problems bro, there are more than 7 billion fuckers on this earth. I'm sure you can find some more friends
You need to go out and do other things that you actually enjoy doing maybe something youve never done before? it would be in your best interest to put the bottle down and reconsider maybe, how your leading yourself in your life right now. things can/may become pretty self deestructive after a while of drinking
Stay strong brother. I've been in a worse position where I was planning how and where I was going to hang myself. I know how it feels to be betrayed. I too have experienced lifelong depression and anxiety. I know how it feels brother. It truly does suck. Now, I personally smoke to be more calm and relaxed, but that's just me. Despite all of that I still truly believe that people cannot live without people. I mean that would explain why most of us come to GrassCity. Belonging seems to be the essence of longing. Well at-least that's my 2 cents. Happy Holidays mate
You're still young man, don't let your current situation get you down. Stop talking about depression and anxiety, you probably have neither of those "conditions", you've hit a wall that a lot of teenagers will have to climb!! I would highly recommend not going to the doctor and talking about these things as they know nothing about what goes on in your head and they'll most likely just put you on Generic Anxiety Drug #1 and Generic Depression Drug #3 (You can't fix yourself with drugs, most healing comes from within! There is NO magic pill). It sounds like you care too much about what people think of you, stop trying to fit in, be yourself- rebuild your confidence. I would highly recommend not smoking or drinking for a while, you need to find your feet again, drinking isn't going to make you a better person (Quite the opposite in fact if you keep drinking heavily! Be Warned!). If you're surrounded by people who enjoy a more rowdy, senseless you then you're simply mixed in with the wrong people. Your friends (real friends) should like you for who you are, they should like you when you're down, when you're sad, when you're angry, when you're drunk and high- that's how you tell real friends from "friends". Fuck what this Taylor guy told you, you need to let comments about your persona slide off your shoulders, you'll meet assholes through your entire life and you can't let any of them get you down (and you should especially avoid idolizing people who at their core are bad people). You are who you are and feeling bad about it will only make it worse, try to find comfort in what you have instead of what you don't have. I would highly recommend you talk to the girl you've been hanging out with, tell her how you feel... grab yourself by the balls and get it over with- you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't!! If she turns you down you'll be just the same person, but with one more experience under your skin. Don't be afraid of what might happen in this or that situation, think "What do I want?" and then go for it like a fucking missile! The more you practice jumping in with your feet first the easier it will get. Life is a mix of the good and bad (can't have one without the other), a lot of people will tell you different things (including this) and the only thing you can be sure of is what goes on inside your own head, you're the only person who you'll ever know completely and that makes you the one in control of yourself. Take control, don't wait for your mind to change itself!
you just need to hang around people that like youfor you. if they only like you when your drunk thats their problem not yours. getting drunk or high is going to make me feel better. its what drugs are for, partly.
Hope you've solved this problem, man. If not, here are some of my thoughts on the matter: That asshat Taylor is just that; an asshat. Idk if he's got some insecurity issues or what, but it comes across as an act to me. Like a circlejerk of "fucking with the younger, nice kid" to elevate himself. I'm almost sure someone did this to him when he was younger, whether it was an older brother or a friend or some shit cause I'm having a hard time believing someone would naturally be that much of a dipshit. At any rate, whether it's an act or not, drop that bitch like a rock. Who needs those vibes? The guy seems to put out more negativity than anything else. "Get out of my house so I can have a quiet circlejerk with the bros"??? What a drama queen lmao wtf. Anyway, you sound like a chill guy, man, and it's pissing the fuck out of me that you're letting someone like Taylorbitch affect you this much. I figure the drinking thing is an accumulation of problems you're having but, from what you posted, the incident with this cunt seems to have made quite the impact and maybe even driven you to drink more. Don't let him have the pleasure of it. Work on your self esteem. Do something productive or of value so you can start appreciating yourself more and realizing that sober "you" isn't too shabby after all. Almost everyone that I know is "funnier" drunk, so I wouldn't even give any thought at all to that comment your friend made. Take a break from the alcohol and clear your head up a little. If you don't wanna do it cold turkey, then reduce it to maybe a 6 pack per week, which isn't bad at all (a beer or two a day is relatively good for you after all!). Good luck, man. And remember: drop the bitch.