I just want to be successful. I just want to make enough money to be comfortable. I need to make my parents and friends proud. Good grades, good college, good job, good family. Death. We often think these things throughout our whole lives, regardless of how much time has passed. One desire becomes old and a new need is born in its place. We have all of these thoughts in our heads of how life ought to be, or how I should be. These things cause us to become fiends for the admiration and approval from all who we know, and even those who we don't. Admiration from everyone other than ourselves. $UCCESS $UCE$S SUCE$$! We have become in love with the idea of being a successful individual in this world. I was personally convinced that I had to go to law school and become a lawyer, or a politician, in order to be worth something in this world. I thought that I had to go through this life struggling to achieve other peoples' dreams, and succeed in the eyes of everyone else except my own. A lot of things are hard for me, but becoming successful in the eyes of others is too easy. It's too easy for me to get the grades, get into law school, become a lawyer, make a lot of money, beat myself into an illusion of happiness, gain the respect of those around me, and die. I'm constantly afraid that I will choose the easy road that will lead me to “the good life,†all the while steering me in a direction that is contrary to what I really want. What I really need. Even if I end up letting those closest to me down, I'll become successful in my own way. If not, I'll just die haha. And knowing that that is the worst that can happen helps me to do the things that I want to do right NOW, and attain all of the success that I seek within myself. [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3k_TP-DkSE]YouTube - The easy way[/ame]
Are you Matt? Dude I've been following your brother Dave's videos for a WHILE man! You guys are the shit! Love mindpetals and how you guys stimulate so much free thought in people. Keep it up man! I was just commenting on Dave's shit the other day. I agree completely with everything you said. My life the past few years has reflected this whole duality tremendously. I was in college, honors, had scholarships, I was always a "gifted" kid as they used to call me (I call all that bs), but once I was in college I just couldn't get away from the thought "what the FUCK am I doing with my life?" What am I doing here? It just felt so fake. So contrived. It is too easy to go to these classes every day and get the good grades so I could get that diploma so I could graduate. It was just much to easy. But more importantly, it didn't have anything to do with me. I have always been an artist. Always been a free, expressive spirit playing in nature with nothing but best friends and imagination. As a kid at least, but even in highschool thats basically how I was, just not in nature. Then you're blasted into the real world. But you see that the real world is really just an illusion. Most people don't even understand the first things about themselves or the world around them. Many haven't even asked the basic questions. What is the purpose of my life? Why do I act the way I act? Who am I? Do I act the way I act because that is me or because I have been taught and expected to act and think a certain way? Long story short, I dropped out, and of course my parents went crazy. Ballistic at first, as to be expected. But luckily I spent the whole semester learning about my self, learning of the world. Reading Buddhism, Alan Watts, philosophy, reflection but mostly just living in the moment. LIVING. New experiences and people that teach me something about life. Much more important than all the reading. Life is far too short to get caught up in winning some "status" or "reward" or "respect" that ultimately doesn't even exist. Why waste precious time doing something you dislike wishing you were elsewhere when you could be elsewhere doing what you love? Doesn't make any sense to me. So I spent a year making music, making graphics, being with the people I love, experiencing shit first hand and truly getting to know myself. Working on making myself the best person I can be. A year later, my Dad has changed tremendously. He was one of those who fell for the "success, family, death" trap. He and my mother split up eventually because they were unhappy. They had made it - the nice house in a nice area with nice weather, pets, smart kids, but they still didn't know themselves, and they were shackled to their mortage etc, and it just wasn't cutting it. But now, my dad has told me how much he has learned from me, and how much he has come to respect my decision. He says it was the best thing I ever could have done, for now he sees that I had to break about from HIS life for me to find and live MY life. And now he has been looking in himself and is about to foresake a cushy executive career for something that really matters. To him and to others. So to follow heart is the best thing one can do, I think. As long as Love and Truth are at the center, people are going to come around to it one way or the other, eventually. Great shit man, loved your video. You should do some more vids with Dave. I couldn't believe it lol as soon as I saw that chair and that bamboo/those trees I was like noo... haha. Peace edit: DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT SAYING COLLEGE IS BAD and that everyone who gets educated is a mindless zombie. I went back to school and am about to go to another school eventually. But now I know EXACTLY what I want to do and WHY i want to do it, and I have passion for it. You just have to know yourself, I think is the bottom line.
Damn dude, you've had some amazing experiences. Haha, yeah, I'm Matt. It's amazing that you've been watching David's videos. Sort of amazing how two strangers get brought together, you know? I admire the fact that you not only had the courage to drop out, but to also go back. You know, some people get so caught up in their egos and pigeon-hold themselves in an artificial attempt to stay true to themselves. For example, you could have just dropped out and said "FUCK SCHOOL. I'm anti-school," but you didn't push yourself to one extreme, and knew that you were still yourself regardless of if you went back or not. Much respect to your journey, and I bet it was an amazing thing to see your dad supporting you in your own way of life. Haha, Alan Watts, sick! Love that dude. Have you ever read Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass? It changed my life, you may like some of it. Much love friend.
I just want to own/operate a legal [ish] dispensary in Connecticut when legislation passes. Some place that is small, well secured - like a small storefront, nothing too big. Good selection of med choices, a small selection of edibles, a small area for teaching about vapeing and other aspects about medical cannabis. Maybe 12-15 employees total [to allow for hours 9-9 7 days a week, so nobody is over worked and we have enough people on site to be safe for the patients to get to and from their cars without being mugged, depending on the area we would be able to get space at.] I have been playing with writing up a business proposal, but since discovering all the damned billionaires that are supposedly donating most of their fortunes to bootstrapping are going through the Gates foundation. That means unless you are an educational/library institution, or a third worlder, you are fucked. I figured that a cool million in funding would let me lease a spot for 2 years, renovate it, buy the stock, hire the employees and pay for everything for 2 years without going into the red. Not only would I be providing a service, I would be creating local jobs. If it could be supported like that at the outset, one could develop a good solid relationship with the local pain control clinics, build up a steady client base and good solid growers and be self supporting after that. *sigh*
Material success is to falsely please the illusion that is the ego. Truthful happiness arises from within your divine consciousness. - peace, joy, love, and light