I just told a guy, "If you don't pay me back the money you owe me, I'll kill you." Not in those exact words, but the message was clear. I am angry at myself for saying that, and I'm angry at the situation that got me to say that. I wish everyone would live with plenty to eat... plenty to use... But no. The world is full of people who don't make enough. I wonder why people spend so much resources. Water. Oil. Wood. Money. Food. People spend WAY more than they need to. And they end up in debts. And I'm sorry I have to deal with that, but I'm not sorry I dealt with that. I just hope I don't REALLY have to deal with him.
Yes, we live in a global society that eats up lack. Lack lack lack lack lack. It cannot last forever, but in the meantime, we all have to put up with it once and a while. I think the way you feel demonstrates that you're doing pretty well with what you're given, which is as much as anyone or thing could ask for.
I'm pissed and angry at myself for turning into .... a monster of something... When I deal with situation like this, which is NOT very often, I get ... pretty mean. Like a dog. A Rottweiler or a Doberman. (Which by the way, I actually have... a cross between the two breeds though.) I'm angry because... I don't want to be violent.
Sometimes the only way of holding your ground is to unleash the monster within. I don't think money should be a good enough reason to do so (but it could be), I do not know the circumstances under which you acted so unless it was a rash response the other guy had it coming. It's a cruel world out there and it's completely valid to be cruel when necessary.
G-Sus : Thanks. (For the approval.) Unless it was ABSOLUTELY necessary, I wouldn't have been... like that. It's not about the money. It's about principle. These are the principles that I'm trying to... keep. - He (The guy who borrowed money) has the obligation to pay back, and I have the obligation to retrieve the money. - If I'm given an order to do something, I have to succeed.