I just had sex in dog vomit

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by experimentalist, Jun 28, 2009.

  1. Hello Everyone,

    So heres the story.... last night was a big city-wide bash and I had a triple kegger at my
    house, as is the tradition. Well this morning I let my dog outside and I went to let him in
    and discovered that he was outside eating aluminum foil from the BBQ chicken the night
    before. So anyways I bring him inside and don't think too much more of it.

    So my wife and I are fooling around and start fucking and the dog busts into the room
    and jumps up on the bed. But we're into it so we ignore the dog and keep going at it,
    and we smell shit. We think the dog has just passed some gas, and that it stunk, but
    no big deal, so we keep fucking.

    So anyways she was on top of me, so I flip her over and get on her and she opens her
    eyes wide and says "theres something wet under me" and I say "yeah it was probably
    you!" and she sits up, and I look under her and theres a big fucking pile of aluminum-foil
    and chicken puke!! It's all over her, I didn't even realize it but its all over the back of
    my legs, and the dog then proceeds to shit right into my baseboard heater! My wife
    then almost pukes and we start laughing our asses off, with all this puke on us and the
    dog sitting there wagging his tail. She jumped into the shower and I took everything
    off the bed and took a shower myself.

    So now I have really runny dog shit in my heater which I'll need to disassemble to clean,
    puke rubbed into my sheets, which require burning now :) and a set of blue balls!!

    Poor me :)

    :bongin: ~Experimentalist
     
  2. Dear Penthouse...
     
  3. Wow, you can't make that kind of stuff up.
     
  4. Damn man she shoulda at least let you bust a nut before the cleanup...


    Jokes, man .... Jokes :D
     
  5. I was going to eat this grilled cheese sandwich...but now that I've read this thread, I don't think that's going to happen. :(
     
  6. haha. that was probably the best story i'll read all day. thats awesome.

    A couple of nights ago my coworker found this rabbit. She was looking for someone to adopt it cuz it jumped to her car. I decided to take it home and I normally leave her runnin around at night, but one night she shit and pissed all over me. I had piss and shit on my shirt and bed. Oh damn I was fucking pissed. I still don't know if i'm gonna keep this thing, but I like it and don't want it to end up getting killed. I had someone offer to buy it per square inch already(I wouldn't do that shit-so fucked up)
     
  7. omg man hahahaha. well u shoulda just continued in the shower.
     
  8. Whatever man, 2Girls1Cup that shit.
     
  9. Hmmm dog shit in a heater, you might be onto a new way to cover the smell of a grow, who needs carbon filters and Ona?
     
  10. u shouldve finished the job in the shower man!! oh well, idk wtf i wouldve done in that situation.
     
  11. wow that sucks.
     
  12. I think you two handled that quite well...

    pretty damn funny haha
     
  13. Thanks everyone :) The dog is still sick as hell, he's been shitting and puking outside
    all afternoon. Poor guy!

    I tried to take a photo of the puke stains but my camera is acting fucked up!

    :bongin: ~Experimentalist
     
  14. You'd have been fucking in dog puke AND my puke if I was your woman.


    ...Puke makes me puke. Harder.
     
  15. First thread in a grip that made me legit LOL.


    I'd be pissed if it were me tho... :D
     
  16. You suffer :devious:

    One time i was getting head and the girl gagged puked all over my lap. Thats the closest i can come to relating :p
     
  17. That sounds worse to me. :hide:
     
  18. C-C-C-COCK BLOCK by the dog.
     
  19. Yeah why do I keep that dog around again?? :)

    :bongin: ~Experimentalist
     

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