Throughout the last two years my mom has been going through a very hard time ( well more like the last 6 years really ). Right now my little sister who is in high school is causing a wide arrange of problems. Everyday or for at least for the most part she harasses my Mom to the point she is in tears. I hear the stuff she says and i know if it was me and that was my child i would be destroyed in side, especially knowing how my Mom is. I can't stand seeing this, and usually after a point i go down and snap, and tell me sister to get her fucking act together and stuff around that various subject. However every time it seems my mom throws me to the side and acts like some fucking how I'm the bad guy, and tells me to leave, or will drive off with my damn sister. Ive done nothing but show love and concern for my Mom , and it just seems like she just wants to blame me. Ive put here through hell my high school years, but i have changed a lot. I know everyones not perfect, including my sister, but it just kills me to see my mom in such a poor emotional state, while i can physically see her health depleting. I don't know what to do anymore, i just want to go far away but that is not an option. If any of you guys have advice i would appreciate it very much...
A lot of the time people who are emotionally/physically abused end up defending the person doing the abusing. After my parents divorce my oldest (half- moms child) brother got really close with my dad, despises my mom even though she's his blood parent. From what i remeber when i was a kid my dad would yell at him and it even escalated to my dad hitting my brother and physically abusing him sometimes. It makes no sense to me why they are buddy buddy now, it kind of pisses me off actaully... but thats life and its my family, i can't change it. On another note, if i were you i would sit your sister down and talk with her (i'm assuming you're older). Let her know that your mom isn't always going to be around aka in 20 years and to try to get along with her better. That is what helped me change my relationship with both of my parents.
Thanks, I really do appreciate your advice. Ive tried sitting her down before and talking to her. She doesn't listen and know how much it may seem that i make head way with her in a conversation, she blows all that away within 24 hours. Its hard for me to stay out of it, because she's learned a few of the bad things from me. She smokes buds now, which I'm not against necessarily but i do believe some people shouldn't get involved if they can't handle it. She can't, she's gotten in trouble with the cops numerous times, has turned from a nice school focused girl, to skipping school every other day and thinking she's some hot shit. Im worried about her because i had friends who remind me just of her type of personality, many of who ended up over dosing and going nowhere in life. My mom blames me a lot for this i know deep down, which is why I think i feel so bad when i see my sister say those things to my mom because it just extends the pain that i so remorsefully imposed on my mom, who has been nothing but loving and providing for me my whole life.
My brothers and sister are some disrespectful shits. I can't believe the stuff they do. Was/am I perfect? Absolutely not. I got I'm trouble just like everybody else, but I'm a very very respectful person, cleaned up after myself, helped around the house, whole 9 yards. They don't do a thing, never help, play the playstation all day etc. and my brother has a psycho gf (he's in 8th grade) they talk about killing themselves, she's super jealous, threatens people, and I don't want to see her drag him down but they'll be together 'forever'. And it kills my mom to put up with all their shit. Plus my dad travels so he's almost never home. Not really any advice but I know exactly what you mean. I always get the short end of the stick no matter how much I try to help. I've tried to sit them down and explain it but it's not happening. I just don't know if you can change a kid who's set in their ways. tl;dr. Fucking read it
Exact same situation here. I put my mom through hell and back through highschool, and now my sister is doing the same. I feel bad for her, I know the pain my actions have caused her and me for that fact. It hurts seeing my sister doing the same. I usually mediate when I go home, if my sister starts ragging on my mom I'll send her down stairs or tell her we are going for a drive and we will go toke. My mom always makes me seem like the bad guy when I try to help, but I see her reasoning. My sister obviously chose that route because she watched me take it. My mom and sister don't get along, so she's worried my sisters getting into trouble and all that jazz. I'll talk with my mom, let her know everything's good with my sister and just tell her she's staying out of trouble. I don't snitch on her for anything, cause that's not my business. Ultimately in the end, nothing I do is going to change them. They have to be willing to work things out on there own.