I AM happy. \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t ... I realized that life is in our own control. We wake up in our own world, thinking deeply to ourselves. We get out of bed and tiringly put on our pants, shirt - tie our shoes. We walk out the door and into our cars, going off for another day of work or school. Despite what we are truly thinking behind our eyes: our real internal eyes; we all put on a fake face to the world. ------- (Scene)----- You: (Thinking) "I fucking am so tired of my stupid roommate always butting into my business. He has no fucking right to--" Your Boss: "Hey Jim!" You: "Oh hey Sir!!!" Your Boss: "How are you this morning?" You: "Just awesome Sir!" ----(Scene)---- We are all independent thinking individuals, it's how and when we find out how we fit into the world around us. I was at a point, a very real and low point in my life recently. There are aspects of myself that I didn't realize until I hit this low. And however much as I wish I could say that I've fully moved on - I haven't. Although we shouldn't dwell upon our pasts, we should embrace to learn lessons from mistakes that we've made. We are only who we've allowed ourselves to be. I thank God for my real friends that I have today. I thank God for letting me experience everything that I have. I thank a lot of people for putting up with my bullshit. I can't say that I'm a perfect person, because frankly -- no one is. But today I sit alone thinking to myself how I am a good person. No matter how she may feel about me, or what my family may think about me as a person - I am me and I should be fucking happy to be breathing. I understand why no one gave us an instruction manual on how to live -- we wouldn't make mistakes and decisions which ultimately shape who we are. I'm grateful for everything in my life and I am finally at peace with who I am. I have some work to do on myself, but the important part of this entire blog, is that I am happy now.
Congratulations on attaining happiness.. I find happiness... probably the hardest emotion to harness. The very essence of it seems to escape me. I do find contentment.. well erm, contenting! I'll settle for this, but I would much prefer true happiness. I believe that true happiness can only come from within. And from what you've written here, so do you! (Or at least I think so?) Accepting yourself for who you are and discovering more things about yourself is one of the biggest steps in becoming truly happy. I, however, do not journey towards happiness. I haven't found what i'm really looking for yet. And I completely agree about the instruction manual point that you made. My mistakes have shaped me more much more than my accomplishments. One can learn much more from a defeat from a victory (that's kind of well-known though). And while I have made very very VERY terrible/evil/wrong decisions.. I don't regret them at all. While a lot of shit happens to me in life, I will always find myself content. Life is what you make of it. (for the most part.)
thats the one, i have a friend who is wayyyyyyyyyyyy to in love with morrisey, i really queation him sometimes