I have never had an orgasm.

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Greenfern, Nov 29, 2011.

  1. I have never had an orgasm through masturbation or stimulation from my boyfriend. I know its not his fault, I do get to the point where I feel like it is going to happen but then everything starts to hurt and I pull away and cant let him continue, everything gets too intense for me to handle. I feel so bad, because he works so hard to get me off and I feel like I'm upsetting him when I can't finish.

    Its definitely my fault that I haven't had one yet, I'm sure, like I'm trying to stop it from happening, or I cant mentally let myself have one. I've gotten close through masturbation too, but still it doesn't happen. I get perfectly relaxed smoking helps, and I do enjoy stimulation a lot more when high, so I don't know what's preventing this.

    Does this happen to anyone else? Is there any advice to help me out? I would definitely like to have an orgasm at least once Dx

    Thanks in advance to anyone who posts :)
  2. You poor, poor thing. =/

    It could be a mental block that you've unconsciously set up for yourself, some people do that when they're raised to believe sex and orgasms are "dirty" or if they've been abused in the past. Or maybe your just really sensitive. By "too intense" do you mean to say that it's excruciatingly painful or that's it's unbearably pleasurable? If it's the latter, it might be worth going for it (though you could pass out or have a seizure or something... :p). Or, you could try some sort of numbing agent; I'm sure they have lubes or creams for this sort of thing. You could always ask a doctor too.
  3. yea this question is best suited for a doctor not stoners.

    but that's too bad. hope you find help
  4. It's all in your head.

    Maybe have him handcuff your arms and legs to the bed so you can't pull away at the last second? :ey:
    • Like Like x 1
  5. [quote name='"Fëanor"']It's all in your head.

    Maybe have him handcuff your arms and legs to the bed so you can't pull away at the last second? :ey:[/quote]

    ^ this.
    I had this issue for a while, it was just anxiety once I learned to relax I never stopped enjoying it haha
  6. #6 Greenfern, Nov 29, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2011
    I never really saw sex as dirty and wasn't really taught that it was bad, I was always a pretty sexual kid, and I've never been sexually abused. But it could be me just being super sensitive.

    Sometimes its painful and sometimes its pleasurable, but most of the time its the former, it tends to hurt really bad if my clit is touched to much. And I've asked a doctor about it and her advice was to masturbate or get a dildo, I was like "Really? Thanks miss gyno lady, thats really helpful."

    I've had him tie me up before but he's not really into stuff like that, I only just (we've been dating since February) got him to start choking me with some force while we have sex. He's not really the dominating type, though I'm trying to get him there. I'm terribly submissive, and being dominate is definitely a turn off for me. And I'm sure it is all in my head, but I wish there was a way to turn my thoughts off Dx

    I get super relaxed in the shower, when I'm doing things myself or even when he's going down on me (though, I do get a little embarrassed, because I've never really liked having someones face down there), but I always end up pulling away because all the feelings are unbearable, and when I'm in the shower doing things myself I end up getting bored because things take to long lol. I use to have a vibrator, but it broke, so I haven't had one in a while.
  7. Get blazed beforehand not to high but feeling great high then go at it. Hope you overcome this if i were a woman and couldn't get off i would be pretty pissed.
  8. I prefer to get high before sex anyway (I have problems getting wet naturally and when I am high as balls I end up getting turned on so much easier.) And I do get pretty angry, but more with myself, its very frustrating to have all of this pent up sexual energy and no way of release.

    Also, thanks to everyone who has posted, it means a lot to me :D
  9. What you need to do is have a night in by yourself, buy a vibrator, light some candles and go to town. Get comfortable with yourself and figure out what you like.
  10. What you need is a night... With me ;)
  11. #11 eric122, Nov 29, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2011
    Buy some flavored lube. tell your guy 1 drop and go down. You will be more than ready to go, and it tastes great esp. when high.

    edit: get the kind in walmart.
  12. vibrator will help..or anything that vibrates..massager maybe? thats how i got my first :D
  13. Take a few hours to just play with yourself lol... You don't need to go straight for clit, especially if you find it sensitive, try around, 'scratch' with your index or middle finger at different angles... That's my advice

    I don't have that problem... The only is I have to do it myself to finish, pressure and speed is never right
  14. Wow I gotta say im surprised by the responses.

    Every woman is different. From reading ur posts, op, ur a very sensitive woman. There are women whom direct clit stimulation is too much. Some women love it some its too intense.

    Its normal, I just suggest u do what makes u feel good, I wouldnt try to force anything. I do feel badish for the guy, just because ive been in the same situation, however we found out a solution.

    Direct clit play and vagina just was too much for her, but she had an orgasm thru anal play. If u are willing u might wanna try that, just dont expect much from the first or even second go. You gotta be comfortable, relaxed, and able. Just a thought

  15. HA! Anal is my favorite thing on the planet but it takes a ton of convincing for the boyfriend xD Well sex in general takes a ton of convincing lol his sex drive is really low and mine is incredibly high.

    And as for finding what feels good, I do know what feels good, I just end up getting bored because it takes me a loooong time to actually start enjoying stimulation (unless I'm high) so most of the time I just make him stop so we can have sex, or when I'm touching myself I just stop.
  16. It's your nerves.

    The same thing happens the first time you get arrested, you have to piss, but can't piss.

    You need to learn to relax and let it go, maybe you can also join in on the stimulation or do something to ease the tension.

    I am sure he thinks it is him and you think it is you, but in all it's not either of you. This is a new experience for you and you need to learn to enjoy it and let it happen.

    I have to say even after being married for several years, it is sometimes impossible to get my wife off through manual stimulation, it just happens.
  17. Lol @ dudes not wanting to bang their ladies.

  18. good luck getting off:p maybe try some nipple play as well, some ladies are really sensitive there
  19. go to star ship.. or what ever sex shops are called where you live... get some lube and a bullet... i recommend the velvet bullet... get one that has four to five speeds worth the extra... put it on the tip of your clit... trust me if you take the lube and just run it down you breast and belly your man will attack you... its the best feeling in the world...
    second advice.. alot of girls can't get off because you have to make your partner stay in one position for a long period of time.. this sucks i know.. but concentration is needed and its just how it is... i allow my boyfriend to get deep in me and just sit... i put the bullet on my clit and with my hips i do the motion... i just tell him to sit still... it makes us both get off quick..
    porn.. sexual simulation is the last and only other thing i can think.. take the time to play before hand.. no penetration.. just rubbing and sucking, nibbling and licking.. its nice and it gets you heated up before he even penetrates you.. so worth it..
  20. Dude, thats awful. But not that uncommon. Only 30% of women have vaginal orgasms in intercourse. And about 10% of woman have never had an orgasm. Does he give you fourplay before you guys have sex? That helps a lot. If theres not a lot of fourplay you dont get as excited. And don't go as much. Try having him tuch your clip more. Or go to a sex shop and get a fun toy, like a vibrating ring for him.. The more excited you get before intercourse, the more likely you are to com. Or something.Iif that doesnt work I would honestly go to a doctors. They might be able to put you on medication to help you orgasm during sex. Hope this was good advice. ?

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