I have a fwb situation but it I'm feeling I'm getting to attached Some the back story: Known each other bout 4 Years she's 18 I'm 21 we starting hanging again in sept maybe a week or so before I've gotten know her 7 month old son I've taught him a good few noises We also work together I've stayed the night several times we've done other things we just chill alot I'm confused tho I cant grasp why i feel as if I'm getting attached to her we've both expressed that we feel as we both feel close like best ftiends idk blades wtf is wrong with me
[quote name='"Crispy21"']Shes got a kid? Why would you get involved with that mess[/quote] Iv got a son and we connect well
[quote name='"shestones17"']You're getting feelings for her. You probably are a bit attatched now... What's wrong with that?[/quote] What's wrong is were still only "friends" with benefits and id like there be somethings more but she's also expressed that she has no interest in a relationship and I'm just confused specially cuz of other things
[quote name='"Crispy21"']Oh you didnt mention that part. Is her kids dad/your kids mom in the picture at all?[/quote] Her kids dad no and my kids mom has my son in another state
Maybe the comforting idea that you're both in similar situations (young people with kids) helps you identify with her. If you don't have any reason not to, why not see if maybe something good could come out of it?
I remember your other thread about this... the other things... you are entering the military or something right? Tell her how you feel. Its too late to go back and you can't ignore your feelings forever. After my ex and I broke up I didn't want anything to do with guys for like a year. And then I didn't even want a relationship for another year or so. Actually, I didn't want a relationship until more recently and my kid is 3 and her father and I have been broken up since she was 6months old. She's probably still dealing with that and doesn't think she could handle another relationship and the possibility that she could get hurt again. Talk to her and reassure her.
Youre learning that friends with benefits only works in stories. Hard not to be connected when you have a lot in common, like work, kids, sex, goals, etc. weird to me that people would rather call a relationship "fwb" for fear or inability to commit.......
Talk to her about it. She might be feeling the same way but hasn't said anything because she thinks you only want a fwb situation.
yup thats a good possibility, heartbreak sucks and really does a number on you when you end up loving and caring about someone so much but they dont return it. if you let it control you that fear of being heartbroken again just overtakes you and you put up "walls" and might actually end up pushing someone away who you might have a lot of stuff in common. in the long run, putting up "walls" so you dont get hurt again actually does more harm than good in my opinion.
[quote name='"shestones17"'] I remember your other thread about this... the other things... you are entering the military or something right? Tell her how you feel. Its too late to go back and you can't ignore your feelings forever. After my ex and I broke up I didn't want anything to do with guys for like a year. And then I didn't even want a relationship for another year or so. Actually, I didn't want a relationship until more recently and my kid is 3 and her father and I have been broken up since she was 6months old. She's probably still dealing with that and doesn't think she could handle another relationship and the possibility that she could get hurt again. Talk to her and reassure her.[/quote] Yes i am in process of doing that still i think ill bring it up when we get into this deeper conversations tho
No need to feel like a pussy. You like this girl, that's cool man. The walls can be helpful at times though. I had mine up for a LONG time. I didnt even notice they were up. I was just going around making partial connections with people. It was weird. It stopped from getting hurt and trusting people I shouldnt. I opened up a little got hurt and then the walls went right back up. Now is the first time I can say I've let all the walls down and am truly trusting someone. Its scary, but it does feel good finally letting someone in. Im sure this girl feels the same and if she opens up to you op Id say you have a great chance at her being open to trusting you and getting into a relationship.
[quote name='"shestones17"']No need to feel like a pussy. You like this girl, that's cool man. The walls can be helpful at times though. I had mine up for a LONG time. I didnt even notice they were up. I was just going around making partial connections with people. It was weird. It stopped from getting hurt and trusting people I shouldnt. I opened up a little got hurt and then the walls went right back up. Now is the first time I can say I've let all the walls down and am truly trusting someone. Its scary, but it does feel good finally letting someone in. Im sure this girl feels the same and if she opens up to you op Id say you have a great chance at her being open to trusting you and getting into a relationship.[/quote] Weve opened up a little i think its the getting n waiting n opening up more n building trust to get to that point
That and she's like one only people i hang out with so the long periods of not texting or chilling tends bother me i know it shouldn't but eh so i try and move past it
nah dude, fwb relationships often involve one person feeling a little more intimate. after all, sex involve some emotion dude
No need to feel like a pussy. If you're having sex with someone, it's only a matter of time before one or both of you start having feelings for the other. IMO, if you're sleeping with someone, and they're the person you hang out with most, then you're already in a relationship.