So today me and my girlfriend finally broke up after almost 3 years of being in a relationship, and you blades, I honestly couldn't be any happier. Here are a few reasons why. 1) I've gotten sick of us always fighting, it was a few days out of every single week, I kid you not. This week alone we have fought every single day from Monday, after looking into things I believe she was unintentionally emotionally abusing me, because she's watched her mom emotionally abuse countless men and use them like doormats, even her current husband, so it's no wonder that's what she thinks a relationship would be like. 2) I've gotten sick of her mom thinking that she can control our relationship, and I've gotten sick of my girlfriend trying to control everything that I do. I'm sick of them both highlighting and blowing the few negative things that have happened in our relationship way out of proportion. I've paid my fair share of bills and made my fair share of sacrifices, and then when the money gets tight for a month or two, all of a sudden I'm just a lazy piece of shit who's been sitting on my ass not helping with the baby, and not helping with any of the bills, and doesn't care about anything. I feel like she's totally ungrateful for believing that. It's bullshit too that she thinks it's OK and totally normal for her mom to intrude on our relationship just because "that's how they were raised". 3) I can honestly do a lot better. My girlfriend (or I guess X-GF now) is pretty enough for a girl who doesn't wear any make up, and is more or less a plain jane, but everywhere I go I see even prettier girls and even dime pieces looking my way and showing interest. I mean I'm not the best looking guy, but it's good to know that I still have plenty of options out there. 4) My now XGF is so judgmental and closed minded it's not even funny. She hates all girls in our age group because she simply believes them all to be "whores". She absolutely has no sense of humor, and is extremely boring. She has no hobbies or interests whatsoever, and her idea of a good time is hanging out with her mother, and helping her do chores around the house. She's kind of racist (I mean I'm half black, and our baby is a quarter) but I remember an instance where we were walking home, and there were two young black males in your stereotypical "gangsta" attire walking in our direction on the street, and she get's scared and wants to cross, but if they were white males she probably wouldn't have even batted an eye. She's also dumber than a box of fucking rocks, and knows absolutely NOTHING about the world around her and how it works, and has no common sense, or even knowledge of pop culture. So with that being said, thank fucking god! I'd rather be a free man than in a shitty relationship where we are constantly arguing over every little fucking thing, and where I'm always made to feel like a bad guy.
Don't come crying when you start missing her drinking your sorrow away. ima be like "member that thread you started.."
Hell yeah! I honestly don't even know the last time I had good sex, my now XGF rarely put out, and when she did it wasn't nothing amazing. I'm not going to miss her at all, good riddance! I'm actually happy it's over, if you've seen my other threads you'd understand.
He's not walking out on the mom. They broke up. If you've seen any of his threads you'd know that he actually put a lot of time and effort in where many guys would not. Its better for the kid if they break up. Its not good for the little ones to see arguing like that. I had to make the decision to break up with my ex for the sake of my kid and my own mental well-being. Shit happens.. it doesn't always work out and OP isn't the usual dick who gets the chick pregnant and then bounces. Im happy for you OP. I hate to see parents break up, but she wasn't putting in any effort to make it better. I hope it all works out and I hope you finally have some good sex
I am basically forced to walk out on my child for now, I can't take the baby mama drama, I can't take the baby mama mama drama. I feel like they won't even let my parent my own child, all of my methods and ways are considered cruel and unusual. Even just last night my baby woke up screaming hysterically which never happens, my girlfriend tried to rock and comfort her back to sleep, and she just continued to scream. I literally went in there ONE TIME and laid the baby down and said in an assertive tone, "C, you need to go to sleep, nobody is going to fucking rock you all night" (I could have done without the fucking) The second I closed the door everything went silent, and I didn't hear a peep from her for the rest of the night... And then I'm told that I didn't have to "raise my voice" to the baby, and that I could have gone about the situation better, yet I'm the one who put the baby to sleep in an instant... Yeah, even now I've been trying to be civil, I'm trying to stay calm, I'm trying to focus on what's best for us and the baby right now, but yet I'm still shouldering the blame for everything that's wrong in the relationship. It's my fault that her mom is being so rude and disrespectful towards me, and I should be the one who has to try to repair that, my girlfriend wont even defend me to her mother, or tell her mother that she's being a total bitch. I've never once been rude or disrespectful to her. My now XGF literally snips and snaps at every little thing I do or say, she always has something negative to say, we thought that maybe if she would come off the DEPO it would help improve her mood, but honestly it's only made things a lot worse, and I'm trying to get her to realize that coming off the DEPO is probably the cause of it and that she needs to try to reel it in, but she's not a person to listen and goes out of her way to do the opposite just for the sake of being different. If the baby is acting up, it's all my fault that I'm not helping, if I try to vent to my friends or family, it's my fault for not communicating these things to her when she refuses to listen in the first place, if I try to get her to see the bigger picture, she becomes overwhelmed and refuses to think about it anymore. If I try to parent my child, I'm being way too hard. If I want to leave back home for a week or two to try to get away from the stressful situation and constant arguing, I'm the one that's avoiding the problem. Because I'm struggling to find a job, I'm not looking hard enough, because I'm not paying bills for a few months my girlfriend is "working her ass off". She really is being totally ungrateful, at least I've provided what I can, when I can, but yet they make me feel like someone who has been sitting on my ass the whole relationship while my girlfriend is the one who's been working her ass off as we struggle to pay a few bills... Her mom is just an old hag with 4 baby daddies collecting back pay on child support, sit's on her ass all day while her husband goes out and brings home the bacon, then she'll bitch at him if he doesn't bring home enough... Her and her mom can seriously focus on nothing but the negative, and blow that shit way out of proportion. As far as they are concerned, everything positive (which far outweighs the negative) doesn't even exist... She insists she can be a single mother, but if last night is any indication of what things will be like when I'm gone, she's fucked... (The baby usually falls asleep around 8:00pm for the whole night, but every time my baby mama tried to put her down she screamed hysterically, and literally stayed up until 10:30pm.) I really am exhausted from the constant fighting (every single day this week)..., I'm tired of shouldering ALL of the blame, and I'm tired of not being appreciated for the things that I do and have done, than the few things that I don't and haven't done... I really do want to father my child, but I'm sick of this relationship with her baby mama. I'm going to miss my daughter, and it brings tears to my eyes to even think that I won't be able to be here to watch her grow and develop into a beautiful young woman... but the relationship is totally toxic to me and my well being.
Well, you can still father her. I know a young guy who broke up with his girl, but still spends time with his kid. You haven't done anything wrong. She can't keep the baby from you. If you want to be in her life then be in it. Don't make excuses and don't let your ex stop you. The child is the most important thing here and just because you broke up that doesn't mean that you can't watch her grow up. As soon as my ex and I broke up he stopped coming to see my daughter. Then he tried to come back a few times before finally just leaving the state without a word. I never stopped him from seeing her, but he'd tell everyone I did and just kept making up excuses as to why he wasn't around. I didn't think you were like that, but from that last part of your post it seems like you might be... Don't do that to your kid man.
So an update as to what's going on, her mom came over and asked for diapers for the baby he wise my GF wouldn't let me watch her all last week. She gets the diapers and leaves, I think nothing of it. About an hour later her dad busts in the door cussing up a storm and raising all hell, I just put my shoes on and left and tells me to never come back, called me a freeloader, he chases me down the street, just being rude and totally disrespectful to me, wouldn't leave me alone. After I got him off my ass I jumped through an open window got my wallet w/ ID a few clothes, my "kit", and then rode a bike for an hour in the midday heat to get my iPod & Charger from my now XGF. I sat in a McDonalds to get hydrated with water and cool off, I walked another hour to the high way hitched a ride to the next town over and continued walking 45 minutes until a guy going to where I was going picked me up. I'm now sitting in a McDonalds getting cooled off again and drinking water, my best friend bought me a bus ticket out of here. I have to leave, I have no friends in that area, no family, no homeless shelter or soup kitchen (it's just a small town)... I'm actually kind of sad because I didn't even get to say good bye to my daughter... I'm just going to try to get back on my feet as fast as I can and start from scratch... Had to leave most my valuables behind which are most likely going to be sold for money... I'm honesty not that bad of a guy as they are making me seem, and I don't need the drama and disrespect from her parents. I've honestly done nothing to them to warrant such a attack on me or my character.
Well, at very least keep in contact. Whether that's by phone or fb or whatever. That way when you get your shit together you can go pick up your daughter. OR take her to court for partial custody or visitation. Because even if they were the reason you left your kid wont care. All she will know is that you aren't around and what they tell her. She'll hate you. One day my kid said "I don't have a dad." So then I told her that she did, just like everyone else. But she just shook her head and kept saying "NO I DONT!" She was visibly upset so I left it alone after that. The hardest thing in the world to do is explain to tell your kid why their dad isn't around. All Im saying is I understand this is all very hard on you, but its not about you. Its about her. Do what you have to do to be in her life.
Sorry OP, but there's no good reason to ever abandon your child. I understand that the relationship was toxic, but your daughter doesn't deserve to grow up fatherless because of it. The least you can do is stay in contact through facebook or something. Don't just disappear over night...
Take the baby and run. Like im serious I had a friend do this, he just took the kid and ran he still has her to this day and she has grown into a beautiful girl. But nobody called the cops or went to court or anything for some reason, my friend says its because his girls mom was doing something illegal (like not payin taxes or some shit) but he didnt go into detail. If you could make sure no one got in trouble I think that is the best option. Extremely sorry if anything I said made me sound like a dick but im fuckin up there.