I got abducted by aliens!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by thedon420, Nov 3, 2009.

  1. so one night many years ago, I ate a whole 10 strip of lsd. and I was wandering through the desert at night. I stumbled upos some back road and I was immediately blinded by lights and heard a screeching sound.
    than I heard a loud thud and I saw the sillouette of a tall slender humanoid figure in front of the lights. this being spoke in a deep voice and said "yo dawg, you aight?" i assumed that this particular extraterrestrial species aquired their knowledge of the english language through top 40 radio, so I replied "yeah dawg, I'm cool" and he said "aight hop in the back" at first I was reluctant, but when I saw more of the these beings surround my I calmly obliged.
    they lead me to the back of their ship. this vehical was an orange and white rectangular prism with the black symbols on the side that resembled the english letters U-H-A-U-L in that order in the white section of the ship.
    the first being that I encountered opened the door, I saw him more clearly he was a tall slender humanoid with dark skin pigmentation. the other aliens referred to him as Slim. he open the door in the back of the space craft and lead me inside. it was dark and there where many beings inside.
    the other ones inside where speaking a strange lenguage, I only picked up a few phrases, "me yamo", "ci", "no" ,"los" and "taco" I have no idea what any of these mean but when I tried to communicate with any of the beings in the back of the craft they responded "no comprende inglace" I guess that this species didn't teach the english language to all of it's members.
    since I couldn't communicate with any of these beings I explored the spacecraft when my eyes adjusted to the light. I walked to the front that part of the craft and saw a wall packed floor to ceiling with white blocks coated with a plastic-like substance, all of the beings in the back got apprehensive and shouted "NO NO NO" when I went to touch these blocks, I assume that these where the sensative CPU of this space craft so I stared in awe of this increadable technology.
    a couple of hours later the space craft stopped and I recognized slim opening the door. something hit my head and I went unconscious for a few miniuts. I awoke in a rundown dingy looking room (I'm assuming that this was the aliens' attempt to replicate a normal human enviornment) these beings obviously didn't have much knowledge of the human race.
    I put my glasses on and saw one of them with a cylindrical tube in it's mouth. I saw him put a flame to the other end and inhale. Slim than said to me "yo dawg, your aight" I took this as a compliment and slim said "yo man you want to smoke some of this alien weed?" and he handed me a bag that had a hard white dense object in it.
    I didn't want to offend these beings by declining his generous gesture, so I obliged. i put the object in the end of the cylinder, and upon closer inspection, there was a gunked up screen at the end and the inside was coated with a strange brown gooey substance, but not wanting to offend their extraterrestrial culture, I hit this alien pipe and drew a thich cloud of smoke, the alien weed crackled when it came into contact with the flame.
    I was immediately filled with energy and euphoria like I'd never felt before.
    than slim stuck a syringe in my arm with a brownish fluid (this race had yet to perfect the pain-free needle) and injected me with a sedative, I immediately felt the most inense euphoria of my life, and I then passed out. I assume this is the part where I was probed, I have no memory of this part of the encounter, but I awoke the next morning in a dumpster behind a crack house in east LA with an increadable anal trauma and extreme nausea.
    this concludes my alien abduction story, this race has very limited knowledge of the human race I hope they learned a lot about humanity through this encounter.
     
  2. Lol, i wonder what actually went on during this time.
     

  3. I made every effort to get the point across (without actually saying) that I got picked up by a u-haul van smuggling mexicans and coke across the border, smoked crack, got shot-up with heroin, and anally violated.
    this story doesn't have a word of truth in it, and I was in the mood to write something humerous
     
  4. You funny fucker.
     
  5. Ah sorry i didn't read the whole thing, some heads up would have helped though! haha
     
  6. aw shit that was funny!
     
  7. lol whats real fucked up is thats how crack dealers ask heads if they want crack. "you ight?" lol
     
  8. hahaha omfs i knew it the whole time ut never figured it ut... that was awsome well for u it woulds suked.. did u realy think thay were aliens?
     
  9. This is obviously a promo for [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVRHOhLP-aA]YouTube - 'The Fourth Kind' Trailer HD[/ame]
     


  10. no, I made the whole thing up that's why I put it in the humor forum
     


  11. wow dude reminds me of the time i was baked and stared at a picture of E.T after that evertime i blinked i saw et in my mind dude it was weird :smoke:
     

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