I’ll be honest, I’ve been numb for so long I forgot what its like. I don’t even know if it’s love but the person and I grew together from friendship to... more. I felt odd so I blocked her. After half a decade I promised I’d never feel for a person aside from my mom after being stabbed by my ex, cheated on, robbed, lied to about domestic violence which made me rot in jail for a weekend, punched in the nose, and having been left for a woman. I’ve learned anything that’s alive is untrustworthy trash and I accept that. But this person made me have emotions for the first time in ages and I don’t understand how this happened. So after she told me how she felt I told her how I felt then blocked her and then got high and drunk. I told myself never again. This is why I always have one inside my FNX-40 chamber and a second in the mag incase I fuck up. I’d rather go my favorite spot by the river, get cross faded, and see my last sunrise before I let another person make me feel again. Making me cry and pull out my gun. I’ll blow my brains out just for fun. I can’t eat and I can’t sleep, I drip the blood out on my feet. Same old grass is on my lawn. But it’s died since she’s been gone. So how’s your relationships going?
I don't trust anyone fully. Not a single soul. I'll love someone only to the extent of friendship maybe. We'd have to see how it goes.
Good lord what’s with the over emotional and hysterical men posting regularly? If you have suicidal thoughts then go to a fucking hospital. My best friend killed himself, and it was a selfish shitty thing to do to people. Lowest of the low cowardly way out. You think you are the first person ever to tell this story? Toughen up, this is life, it ain’t fair or easy. Be a fucking man, put away your bullshit and move on. You are a man right? Only a bitch would walllow in that shit and talk about needing a gun because they are too much of a pussy to handle life. Now get your shit together, get rid of the gun because you aren’t mature enough to handle, and go fuck the woman son. If you find your pecker, and actually use it for what’s made for, you will be amazed how much less your life will suck.
Aside from the fact that my girlfriend always puts her "best friend" first to the point I think they are about ready to lez out with one another, I would say it's going alright.
In all fairness I was drunk and high when I posted this but your response is actually pretty motivating. I feel I do pretty well in life, college grad making pretty good money, no kids or anything while still young. I mean yeah I should be able to man up and handle life and I’m still here, but I’ve this gun for a little over a year and I always knew long ago I’d have this in the back pocket when I became legal. But eh, it may never go off. As far as the woman, I want it but I know I can’t have it. Even right now I feel for her but eventually it’ll die and I’ll be back to myself. Sorry about your friend btw, but i understand where they’re coming from.