I feel like I discover myself when I smoke and shower.

This may turn out to be a long read but I while try to cut it very short for you.
 

TL;DR is located at the end.​

 
So today was just a weird day. Just recently I smoked two bowls and I'm feeling the effects in a very positive way. I tried to hurry and escape my mother from seeing me as my grandfather walked to open the door. I'm currently staying the week with my grandparents. I eventually got called downstairs and I had to act all natural. Sometimes I wonder if she knows I'm high  .
 
I hopped into the shower and started the music. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Axis: Bold as Love. I'm a huge fan of Jimi, so I've heard the album plenty of times. But what it is is what I thought. I'm loving this sativa a lot. Ugh! I need a wah pedal.
 
I love smoking and showering to some music. I tend to think about myself, (regardless of whether I'm high or not) and evaluate the world around me. Basically I try to figure out what problems I have. I just feel so relaxed and it's a sort-of speak a stress reliever for me.
 
I start thinking about this girl I currently lost. I'm not a real sad guy when it comes to dating, so this isn't like I'm gonna hang myself or anything. But the only word that really comes to my head when I think about how I feel about her right now is disappointment. She knows what her problem is when it comes to how she's just like her mother.
 
A few years ago her parents divorced and I can tell it has taken a toll on her life. It really sucks how parents are these days though when you really think about it, but I'm a little high right now, and you know, I type long sentences  . So I want to help her get through her problems. She and I have had some history together, and for a few months, we've been actually getting on better terms (A few years ago we had some issues that occurred and I had to step away from her nonsense for awhile). Brb.
 
Ok back. I decided when she confessed to me about how much she liked me, that I would give her another chance for her sake. I was willing to help her eliminate the unwanted trait she genetically received from her mom. So those few months ago, like I said, we were getting better. Or so I thought  .
 
So this past weekend, she ignored me and I was set off by her. I was wondering if she was going down the same road that she has herself in. She like, really made me feel as if I wasn't there several times, and I know she's being super fake towards me. So of course I start putting effects of why I stuck with her.
 
I texted her when I got home. and eventually dropped the question. She answered me with that she did talk to me. After that I was ignored. So because I already know how she is, I decided to take a better approach at getting her to talk to me to discuss things. It worked and she told me that she would talk to me when she sees me.
 
I've been through this before. She's gonna make this worse. And that's what she did. She called me over and said to go inside. I get some water and then she tells me where she will be. I walk up the stairs and kind of do a clap on my legs when I jump on the top, and she gives a slight chuckle and acts all fake. The way we were acting towards each other was really making me upset because it's like we don't have to be like that to one another. We should be better basically.
 
Then she was like, do you know about this situation? Me being high at the moment started saying some stupid shit and had to cover it up. I eventually just asked her to tell me, lol, and then she said you know we're not uh... And she just wouldn't say it. She wouldn't say that we're not together, which for fact I obviously knew, because I told her I didn't want to get into a relationship with her in the first place. Now you're trying to tell me? Shut the hell up.
 
It really bothered me when she tried to act like the same person I knew she was. She just likes to fool around and not settle down. I think the opposite of her. So I knew when I gave her that second chance that one of our mindsets would have to change. But I thought she learned. 
 

SO HERE'S THE END.!  ​

 
The TL;DR directs here -> Through this previous smoke/shower session, I've thought through my problems and I'm not stressed about anything. I can always get just what I need when I take the time to relax my mind.
 
Just gonna leave now 

 

It normally doesn't kill mine.

 

Haha. This.

 

I really try to keep myself a humble person because it helps me learn better.

 

Nice story. I'm not worried about her man. Just another bites the dust.