I feel like giving up :(

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by BayouHunta, Mar 16, 2012.

  1. Im a nice guy and I always finish last. Every girl ive dated has cut me loose with the whole its not you its me line. That I deserve better but no girl wants to walk down that road with me. Ive been friend zoned so many times I just say fuck it now and I make it clear thats not what I want. I seriously feel like im destined to be alone my entire life even though I dont want to be. I fear the breakup before it even begins because ive never gone past the dating stage and im all too familiar with the feeling of being thrown aside early on. I just dont get it blades im a man thats gonna treat a woman like a queen and do nothing but love her yet Ive never had the chance. If you saw my last thread ive been trying to fight for her but it gets to the point where its just flat out pathetic and I know I should move on but you only live once and im trying to make the most out of it. I just dont know...
  2. maybe your just too soft, a woman needs a little aggression in her life. i know u cant change who u are but that may be the problem
  3. You remind me a lot of myself: pathetic. Listen to yourself man. You say you keep getting put in the friend zone constantly over and over again. Dont you think it's time you treat women differently and see what kind of results you get? It's all trial and error. You gotta learn what works and what doesn't. You know what you're doing now doesn't work, so try something else. You can't just give up on yourself. Wherever you go just talk to strangers including women and get better at conversation and then dont be at women's beck and call. It seems like they like it but it's only for the attention. Show them that you are better than the other guys and that you do not give two fucks
  4. With that attitude, you never will have a girl. You think a girl wants a guy thats going to sit there bitching about how hes always in the friend zone and never gets to fuck? Yeah, no. And to add to what chron said, woman want what they cant have, and also competition. End of story, it never fails. So if you act desperate and shit, hit them up hourly, etc etc, they're not going to want you, cause they know they can have you, theres no challenge to it.

    And lets be real, you're not going to give up on woman. Your life will be even more depressing then it already is.
  5. Friendzone's aren't so bad after while, be Thier buddy but not Thier best friend ya know. Cuz you just can't be THAt guy who just want to be BANG and be in a a relationship, you gotto know this girls and make a friendship with them.
    Unless your a man whore about & don't care who your with so just your not alone all the time,

    I rather be a good friend to a chick, then make a move, if she says no then oh well

    Also if your man, then don't be soft, maybe you need something to light a fire under Yo ass to get you onto some apha male shit,

    Remember bros before Ho's....unless that Ho's giving you some the it's cool,

    Hope u fine your way
  6. Stop worrying about trying to get the girl. Just do your own thing. Don't be shy, so when it's clear you have a shot with the girl, you can take it. Honestly, the whole 'it's not you it's me' excuse is them saying that you're too clingy. You'll never win a girl over if it's all about them.. that gets old quick. You have to show her things, do things with her, be there WHEN SHE NEEDS IT, not to mention knowing if she needs it or not, let her help you out, be there when you need it - but don't need it too much....

    Just do your own thing and don't force it.. what will happen will happen.
  7. #7 Atomic Labrador, Mar 17, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2012
    I'll ask you the same thing I asked my 23 year-old friend: How old are you?

    You're not in your Golden Years, man. I've ridden in the same boat you have-- I've gotten the "It's not you, it's me!" speech twice, and both times I had fallen into this really passive behavior near the end of the relationship and started thinking too much of what to say than just act natural. I got most of my shit together, eventually, and learned to start being more comfortable around people in general, or at least convey it. And like everyone else said, don't worry too much. You already know you're not going to treat the girl like shit, and hopefully know not to let HER treat you like shit, so let the rest come naturally!

    Also, be a little aggressive and spontaneous when asking a girl out. It helps.
  8. #8 LuxTenebris, Mar 17, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2012
    Never give up.

    And for your own sake ignore anyone who tells you you can't just be a nice guy.

    You MOST DEFINITELY can, if you do, you may be alone longer (and I know exactly how horrible that feels), but in the end its worth it, because once you find a women who will stick with you, she'll be better than anything you could ever hope for.

    If you start being a jerk, you'll get women, but it will be hollow and meaningless, and they'll probably cheat on you the first opportunity they get.

    Oh, and despite what you've been told, and will continue to be told, no means no. All persistently asking women does is give the rest of your gender a bad name, if she says no, she isn't interested, MOVE ON.
  9. I used to be exactly like that...
    I realized I was trying way too hard. Girls aren't worth your emotions, and definitely aren't worth your time. You will enjoy life 100x more if you just.. don't give a crap.
  10. Yeah bud just dont really give a fuck about anything. Notice that when a girl is in to you for the first time at the very beginning when you just met she was the one asking you out and hitting you up? You were interesting to her but as time went on you probably went to concervative to avoid fucking up and she doesnt want concervative, she wants a man thats gonna take her to bed and fuck her brains out. Never make the mistake of thinking a woman is innocent and that she wont enjoy doing intimate shit because you wont know unless you try and see what happens. You miss 100% of shots you dont take. Worst of all dont take it so hard man show her you can live without her and maybe when she realizes how much of a nice guy you are she might coming running back to you. In the meantime just chill out and do other shit to take your mind of girls.
  11. Yeah dude I'm always stuck in the friend zone or not even given a second look. Eventually I just said fuck it. Go about your life. No need to try and get a woman. If it happens, it happens. If not, their loss. This is from a 21 year old who has had 3 real girlfriends in his life and is now on year 3 of being single.
  12. #12 MMM3, Mar 17, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2012
    My entire time in high school I had the same problem as you. I was the nice guy and I always finished last. My first kiss was the same night I lost my virginity, one of the first nights of college.

    People said it before, but you just have to stop caring. As soon as girls get the feeling that you're indifferent to them, it intrigues them. I'm not saying be a dick, but don't fawn over them. You're making yourself too easy to get. Hide yourself a little bit, turn it into a game, make them question whether or not you're into them. I fundamentally changed the way I act around women and I've had much better luck since then. I'm not saying that I've turned into a player. That's not who I am. But I have been able to get with a few women that meet my standards, and there aren't that many of them.

    You also have to learn that you can't change who you are. I never have and never will be the center of the party. I don't have the confidence to do that. If you feel that you're the "nice guy who finishes last" then you just don't understand yourself. Figure out your strengths and play to them. Figure out your weaknesses and make light of them. Don't avoid them. The first girl I had, I started the conversation off with by talking about how awkward I was with women.

    If you're talking to a girl and you feel like she's too attractive for you, imagine her with a massive zit on her nose. Usually that'll lighten me up enough to put me back in the zone.

    Think of it this way. If you're always playing defense, worrying about whether or not she likes you, you're never going to score a goal. There are some guys who are dicks and get girls, who score all the time, but they never end up winning because they don't have defense. It's all about the balance.

    TL;DR: Keep her off balance. Don't be a dick, but don't fawn over her. Be mysterious. Be serious one moment, smiling the next. You can still be the nice guy, and you can come in first. Whether or not they're mutually exclusive is just a matter of confidence. I'm an average looking guy (probably a 5 or 6 out of 10) and I don't let it effect me. What's the worst thing she says? No? Then move on. Life's too short to wallow in self-pity.

    TL;DR the TL;DR: If that's too long, fuck you. haha
  13. to not get friendzoned you have to let women know asap that you notice their body and would smash it first opportunity you get.

    if you're too shy to do that, then grow a pair.

    its the truth
  14. Guy did that once to me.
    I was like "Thats Nice" Then continued on with my life.
  15. Yeah I dont think women want a guy to show interest in sex right off the bat like that.
  16. Its true girls want what they can't have BUT sooner or later they will get tired of you being a jerk and move on most likely leaving you heart broken. Be yourself have fun.sooner or later you will find a girl that appreciates you for who you really are.
  17. ... We never said to be a jerk. We said you can't just let her have you wrapped around her finger in less than a week. No girl enjoys getting the guy instantly.

  18. Thats bullshit! You must still be in high school where the immature girls feast on bad boys and spit on the nice guys. A real woman would recognize a douchebag and send his ass packing. So what your saying is its ok to act like your not interested? Ive done that before and its backfired. If you like someone show it doesnt matter if its been a day or a year. Believe it or not you get to an age where all those little games and mind tricks get old. BE YOURSELF! ALWAYS!
  19. #19 Laith, Mar 18, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 18, 2012
    The hell are you talking about man? I just said that you shouldn't be a jerk, you just can't fall in love with her in a week. Telling some girl you "Like her", without even being out on a date with her - she's not going to be interested.

    Girls want to be mentally challenged. Waiting on them hands and knees is the opposite of challenging her, and it won't get her interested in you - because let's face it, if she's hot she can get any old dumbass to do what you're doing. You can't let her become your focus; you need to show her no more attention than you would a friend. Sure, flirt with her, make sure she knows you are into her.

    There's no age that women stop wanting to be challenged by their partner. You're a fool for thinking you can just go tell a girl you've got a crush on her, and expect it to lead somewhere. She is not going to return your little "crush" when you can't even get her interested in hanging out with you in the first place.

    I never once said, "Act like a jerk and pretend you don't like her." I said to challenge her and make her interested in you. There's many different ways of doing this, and it's different for every girl.
  20. [quote name='"Laith"']I used to be exactly like that...
    I realized I was trying way too hard. Girls aren't worth your emotions, and definitely aren't worth your time. You will enjoy life 100x more if you just.. don't give a crap.[/quote]

    Umm yeaa dude just stfu already u wrote a whole essay just woofing bullshit gtfo.if he's a genuinely nice Guy he's gonna give a crap.and all of this not giving a crap shit might work on some chicks but op said he wants something serious and a serious mature woman most likely wont stick around if you act like that..somebody's bitter hahaha

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