Ugh. I am starting a very intensive course/certification course tonight and quite simply, i do not want to do it. I know that I have to and it's only five months and that in therent economy that this is very important, but come on. I'm so anxious about going, I'm expecting a ton of homework AND I had to take out a $6,500 student loan. I think that's what's bothering me the most, the loan. I'm not sure that the course will be able to make me that much money in the end by the skills that I will have learned (and I"ll have to start paying ti back at the end of the five months and right now I am making very little extra money a month, I'm not sure how that's going to work) I know in the end I'm just anxious and it's ok and the right thing to do. I just had to vent. I think I just don't want to go tonight, as part of the problem, I'm sick, can't stop coughing and exhausted, I just imagine sitting in a classroom for 3 hours tonight when I could, should be sleeping and what about these coughing attacks? I can't take cough syrup because it puts me out. But I can't be coughing for ten minutes at a time in the middle of the class. (I thought I was DONE with college bullshit, until I decided to go back and get a degree in what I really want)
I really hope I do too. It doesn't help that the lawyer I work for just told me that he doesn't want me to be a paralegal because he thinks he'll lose me, I told him it's so I can help him better and when he decides to retire I'll be able to continue down this path, but ... It's the loan that is killing me, honestly. $6,500 for six months. Insane.