I've had some kind of mood/anxiety problem for quite a while now, but it's getting to the point where it is seriously degrading the quality of my life. I feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life. I guess I could probably say the first thing in my life that could possible be related to this was in 6th grade when my dad was deployed to Iraq for the first time. My relationship with my mom went downhill from there. To this day we have a weird relationship... I feel like I can talk to her about anything and she does so much for me, but at the same time we both just get so pissed off at each other and sometimes I can't bring myself to even smile around her and this has carried over to other relationships with my friends. I went through middle school and high school having a lot of friends and was pretty well liked, but I feel like i'm not even the same person anymore. In almost any social situation I feel extremely awkward at all times. I am constantly worrying about people realizing how nervous I am and just freeze up. At any party I'm at I feel so nervous at all times. I wish I could just loosen up and have fun. I really haven't truly enjoyed myself in a pretty long time and after finishing up my first year of college I feel like my social life went completely downhill from high school. Talking to girls is a huge fear now because of all of this, I've always been kinda shy at first with them, but have had plenty of girlfriends. Now I can't even think of anything to say after hello. I seriously think I may have some kind of social anxiety and depression is starting set in now too. I'll go through times, like right now, where I just feel like complete shit... There is no reason to feel sad, but i do and I don't know why. I want to fix this, but I don't know how to fix it if I don't know why I feel like this in the first place. Anyone have any kind of problem with this? I just want some kind of advice to help me get my life back.
I can feel your pain here. Up until about a couple of years ago, I was one of the most socially akward kids you could find. I would hardly speak a word to anyone outside of my immediate group of friends (which was like 3 people) mostly due to the fact that I was constantly worried about saying the wrong thing to someone, coming off as an uninteresting person, my apearance, I basically had no self esteem. This went on from elementary school all the way to high school for me gradually diminishing as I grew older but I still felt a definite bit of awkwardness in any social situation. It just eventually came to the point where I just realised I have to change something. It was then where I just started walking around with the attitude of " all of these people are happy to see me and are interested in what I have to say." I also bought some new clothes and basically changed my appearance, not anything drastic though. Eventually I had adopted the idea that I was the shit. It seemed kind of fake at first, but eventually I got used to it and it really set in, I had successfully changed my mindset. Don't confuse this with arrogance or cockiness though despite how it sounds, try to think of it as a boost in confidence. I didn't become an asshole, I kit became more socially accepted with a lot more people. I am doing great to this day, I pretty much have the ability to make friends with just about anyone I see. The key is confidence. Well that's just my story, hopefully it can help you somehow
i went through a phase kind of like that as well. its kind of different because i liked myself and didnt think there was anything "wrong" in a sense, but i quickly adopted a "i dont give a shit" attitude towards life. i still responsible and do what i need to do, but i mean i jsut dont let things bother me anymore. if i cant change something, why worry about it? it also translated over to my social life were i just dont give a shit what people think about me. i be myself, and if they dont like me than there not someone i want to be my friends anyway.the best part about it is i know the friends i have are going to be there for me if i need anything. i dont know if this is relevent but its what sprang to mind.
yeah, I'm trying to do the same thing, it'll just take some time.. That's a good point though, if I would just not care and be myself it wouldnt matter if anyone made fun of me or whatever.. someday i will grow the balls and realize its that easy
Same problem man...Except I would get to the point to when I would start thinking everyone was watching me, I would have shortness of breath and I would worry that people could hear me breathing loud and that made me feel awkward in a lot of social situations. Confidence is the key though man, its the only way Ive found to work. Just try and feel comfortable in your own skin, it probably seems impossible to you now, but you can do it.
yeah dude, I know that exact feeling. I feel like someone is watching my every move at all times, even though I know it's not true, I can't convince myself to stop worrying about it.
I know what ya mean. Ya have to realize that no one is thinking those things about you, and you're overanalyzing. And if they don't like ya the way u are or think you're a certain way, it's their mistake not yours.
one last bit of advice that may or may not work for you, which you should only do if you think you can handle it, is eat some mushrooms. you start thinking everything over 10 times as much and it can be a pretty scary experience, but it helped ME to figure out how to go about my life happily. not saying you should, but its an idea if you have nothing left to turn to. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about that. mods: no idea if this post is against the rules, if it is, i appoligize