i don't know if i'll ever be happy

Discussion in 'General' started by NFloyd2357, Aug 25, 2008.

  1. i'm at a huge crossroads in my life, and i hate it. Everything is so confusing. Everyday, i keep coming to the conclusion that i won't truly be happy if i don't find a way to make a living in the music industry. I play guitar with my best friends, and have been since middle school. We can read and follow eachother well enough to jam out better than phish, and write songs as good as any other band. We are good, no doubt... but we can't find a singer, and everyone knows how tough it is to make it in the music industry (unless you regergitate shit music like lil wayne or panic at the disco). When i'm playing music, its the only time i feel right, happy, content. I can't see myself doing anything else. I lived the most unproductive summer of my life this year, and it tought me so much.

    I couldn't find a job, and i had no money... and i loved it. I came home from school with $300, bought a QP of mids, and somehow scrapped through the entire summer. All day, almost every day, i would smoke and jam with my friends. WHen i wasn't doing that, i was thinking, shrooming, writing, philosophising, or further exploring my own mind. In my heart, there are only two things that i could ever be content doing... and its music, or writing. Last year, school sucked. I loved being AT college, and living the college life, but i hated class. I changed my major after nearly flunking out of engineering my second semester. Its not that it got too hard, or that i stopped trying, but more that i hated the direction that my life was going. I finally convinced my parents how miserable i was in such a "promising" program. As of next week, I will be double majoring in political science, and journalism. Politics interest me, but i'm only majoring in it because it has more "potential" and "options" than just journalism (almost as tough as the music industry). I like writing, but i'm not nearly as good at it as i am at guitar and writing lyrics.

    This summer taught me how money isn't everything. Deep down i always knew that, but this summer proved it to me. I scrapped by with just enough to drive my car, eat food, smoke weed, and play guitar. I found enough money to shroom twice, which was the icing on the cake for the summer. I did nothing; the only productive thing i did was play music... and i thoroughly enjoyed every waking moment, even when i was horribly bored. I guess im kind of just thinking out loud, and if any of you have something to add, respond or anything, feel free to add it, id love to talk about anything i mentioned in this thread; whether its about my life, or yours.

    Its quite a catch 22... I've found EXACTLY what i want to do the rest of my life... but i don't know if it will ever be practical enough to do it. I can't dedicate all the time i want to it, because i have to go to school, and get a degree to fall back on...
    music is the universal language... and all i want to do is speak to everyone
  2. i definitely feel you man.. alot of times i just want to commit suicide and skip life, because i'm afraid i'll be doomed to work the 9-5 grind at a job that i dont like going to just to barely get by and live paycheck to paycheck.. i dont even care so much about living paycheck to paycheck, as i do just doing something that i truly enjoy doing and that is contributing to the world or helping people. i want to be a clinical psychologist and help teens/young adults, and you need a masters in psychology for that i'm pretty sure.. and i also worry that even if i cleanup my act and do good in school at first, i'll fall back into my addict ways and fuck myself.

    music is definitely hit or miss as far as making a living from it or not... perhaps if you cant get signed in a band, you could start a record label and produce music, plus if you have your own label, you could also put out YOUR music with your band. thats kind of hit or miss as well, but with a decent amount of listeners you could probably still get by like your average 9-5 jackoff, except you'd be doing something you enjoy.
  3. It's difficult to make a living in any sort of creative field... I can totally relate to that. I've been trying to do it for years now, and it has taken a while to become successful at it. But there is nothing better then doing what you love for a living.

    Have you thought about teaching? Maybe giving lessons to younger kids? Idk if that's something you're interested in, but it might be a good way to earn some extra cash doing something you love.

    Meanwhile, find other things you love and make you happy. I don't mean abandon music, but find other things that you can be passionate about (I always recommend world travel- but I'm a travel whore). You're right... money is not the answer. It does not equal happiness. That's something that can only be found from within.
  4. yep. this summer i've really "found" myself, and become very content with who i am as a person. I love who i am, what i stand for, and how i feel about anything and everything... i guess sometimes the future freaks me out (forgive me, i used to like them in like, middle school lol).

    I like to travel as well... it sucks, cuz i usually get panic attacks or end up sick when i'm on vacation; but i don't care, cuz i love to experience the unexperienced, and see the unseen. Thats part of the reason i'd love to get into journalism. Id love to get sent on "business trips" and then write about wherever it is i just went. I do it anyways, i might as well get paid for it, right?? As much as money isn't everything, i hate that i can't do much of anything without it... damn human nature, society, and the constraints we've put on ourselves... humans have already destroyed the world... ugh
  5. I do a lot of freelance travel photography, and though it pays for shit (I have to pay for everything, and then hope to earn my money back by selling the photographs), I can't even begin to describe how much I love doing it.

    With a journalism degree, you could easily start doing travel assignments. I can't write for shit, but I know if I could write some great stories to go along with my travel photos I would have a lot more opportunities.

    As far as your music career... just think outside of the box. Earning a living by performing is, of course, extremely difficult, but there are many other things you could do that still involve music (teaching, owning a recording studio, managing a band, owning a bar that features live performers, etc). Maybe even combine your love of writing... start by writing some freelance CD or band reviews.
  6. You know enough about Music Theory? Do you have a firm understanding in music? What kind of styles do you like to play?

    Seriously, music lessons can probably make you some decent money. The hourly rates at the local music shop are 30+ dollars!!!

  7. nugglord is absolutely right you can make a killing, all on the side of being in a band. Thats what a lot of the music teachers do.

    but i suggest you start getting you and your friends into a club to play for a bar or something. maybe you need to step up and sing! did you ever consider yourself for the job? i mean you write, and most are singer/songwriters. something to consider.

    well best of luck of finding your passions, i know its tough
  8. i love singing, but im not good at it at all. i practice everyday, maybe someday i'll be able to but right now its just not good lol

Share This Page