I just need to rant about some things. And since this is the only forum I'm active on might as well say it here. Number 1 Family. Growing up, everyone in my family told be to always be close to your family, to always keep it touch and to always come over when ever you can. Almost my whole family lives in one house. My grandma, grandpa, uncle, his wife, my baby cousin and my aunt. I used to go over quite frequently. Didn't go as much after we moved. Now every time me and my brothers and mom go, they bitch saying they only want to see us once a year. That makes me depressed. I'm trying to become closer with them ever since my grandpa (on my dads side) died two Saturdays ago. This kills me inside. And I hate being somewhere I don't want to be. They make it clear they don't want me and my brothers there and I'm thinking they don't even like us. This saddens me. Sometimes I just wanna leave and not talk to them again. I wouldnt mind if they came over to my house every weekend to visit or sleepover. But if I'm there for three hours or so. Nothing but screaming and yelling. And all this makes me miss my grandpa who passed cause during the summer i would visit him in Europe for the whole summer and I would sleep in his house. No one would complain. I felt wanted. And that makes me not want to leave there. He always welcomed me, always made sure to tell me to have fun. I don't know why they would raise us to be close, then just push us away. I don't even know where to go with this. I've always wanted a family like on those tv shows. But sadly, I will never get one. I don't even know why this makes me feel this way. Like if it was a friend who didn't want to hang, I just wouldn't talk to him or anything. Drop all connections and not think twice about it. But I can't do that with my family. I don't know why. I try to cause it might be for the best, but I can't. I'm not looking for tips on how to deal with this. I'm just looking for an answer. I may or may not get one. But I'll try.