I consider them family, but my hearts not in it anymore...

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by NativeSoundz, Jan 26, 2014.

  1. I've played with this band for awhile now and I've known our singer for years and years. Lately I've been really examining my own life priorities and I can't help but feel like I'm holding myself back by being in this group.I'm in two bands, and my other one is making moves and is gaining momentum. We're traveling and recording and playing a lot of shows, and my heart is really in it. But this other group is going nowhere. The music is fun to play for sure but I don't want to be in just a stoner party band. I need more. Nothing against the style (its kinda funk/reggae/rock-ish), but its just not where my head is at in this part of my life. I need people around me that are motivated to do bigger things than play local venues with the same type of crowds all the time.My dilemma is that if I leave, the drummer is gone too. He's also the drummer in my other band, I brought him into this group when our old drummer moved to Israel. I would feel bad about leaving my good friend to start from the ground up again. I've known him for too long and it would hurt him to just peace out like that, he relies on me for a lot in this project. I think i know what I should do but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. ~ fly with the wind ~
     
  2. Follow your heart.Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
     
  3. Maybe he could sing back up in the new band?
     
  4. Nothing wrong with wanting to focus on one band. You have to do what's right for you. Bands come and go.Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
  5. [quote name="Pokie" post="19409134" timestamp="1390743137"]Maybe he could sing back up in the new band?[/quote]Haha no way. Two completely different vibes.
    Ya I know I've been playing since I was 13. Its not that I just want to focus on one though, I actually want to start something new. ~ fly with the wind ~
     
  6. What are you some kind of asshole? No way, man. 
     
  7. Ask yourself this: if your head and heart are elsewhere, what are you contributing to this band? Other than holding a guitar.
     
    Being in a band is like being in a relationship. When it comes time to call it quits, dragging it out only postpones the inevitable and makes it harder on everyone. If you keep on shuffling around in a group that you don't want to be in, not only are you cutting yourself short, but you're cutting your bandmates short by not being fully present. It sucks that you're tearing the rest of the group apart, but if that other member has the drive, he'll find another outfit to start or join.
     
    Do you, man. Music doesn't come when you force it, so don't try and force it.
     
  8. [quote name="AR Toasty" post="19412131" timestamp="1390778447"]Ask yourself this: if your head and heart are elsewhere, what are you contributing to this band? Other than holding a guitar.Being in a band is like being in a relationship. When it comes time to call it quits, dragging it out only postpones the inevitable and makes it harder on everyone. If you keep on shuffling around in a group that you don't want to be in, not only are you cutting yourself short, but you're cutting your bandmates short by not being fully present. It sucks that you're tearing the rest of the group apart, but if that other member has the drive, he'll find another outfit to start or join.Do you, man. Music doesn't come when you force it, so don't try and force it.[/quote]I completely agree with everything you said. And it sucks to see but he's NOT motivated like he should be, which is what's been driving me away. I've made my decision already I just thought I'd like to hear some opinions~ fly with the wind ~
     
  9. Look at it like you be giving some other musicians an opportunity to just get in a band.
     
  10. im not gonna break the news to them til after our show friday. fuck practice is gonna be super weird this week. maybe by losing two members at once it will be a big wake up call to him. you either get moving or others will move on without you. im stopping at nothing to make music that im proud of, and i just want to be heard and remembered. im not gonna be held back by people who just TALK about how motivated they are and how big we COULD be. 
     
  11. I'm in a band myself, and I agree with all that's been said here. 
     
    If you truly believe that your heart isn't in it, then move on. There's not point continuing in a band that you have no desire to be in, not only will it be hell for you personally but it will also reflect in the music itself. 
     
    Just tell your friend that it's nothing personal, but that you just can't see yourself playing in this band anymore. All musicians should understand that feeling at some point.
     
  12. Introduce him to the other band and maybe hed be able to play a part in it, I dont see how this could affect your entire relationship with him just bring it up to him im sure he'll understand
     
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