I can't go on. Not like this.

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by ParanoidAtBest, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. As I'm writing this, I have a physical/emotional pain in my heart. Recently, I've felt like nothing but a robot. Sometimes I have the occasional bud to smoke to ease the pain, but I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to feel - Every ounce of motivation I get goes to trying to make friends over Facebook or trying to hang out with people or trying to get a girl, even if just to ease the pain of my reality even slightly. As I type this, I come to understanding how selfish writing this is, and it makes me feel even more like shit. I have no one to listen to my problems and stories who will truly care, no one to hold.. No one to smile with. I have this painting above me of this man - Just a man. He's surrounded by a row of trees to the left, and to the right of him. He's alone. So... alone. I love that painting. If I could draw, I would continue it, draw a picture of the Earth and as you zoomed out, there would be just a dot - The dot on that planet would be the man. Barely holding on.. I feel like I'm lost in a haze.

    Just ranting. Any advice would be.. appreciated. Love you guys.

    Stay high. :smoke:
  2. That sucks bro, I'd smoke you out if I could.

  3. Cheers, man. +rep. :)
  4. I'm in a similar situation, except I'm not trying to make any new friends or get a girl...what's your plan?

  5. I don't have a plan. I've been in this situation for four years. My memoir in my signature is my story. I have nothing.
  6. You gotta push through the hard times to get to the good ones! One day you're feel happy and look back on what you're feeling now and be glad you didn't give up :smoke:

  7. See, that's the problem. I have. I'm a miserable, pathetic, worthless existence with nothing to offer but... nothing.
  8. I feel the same way brotha.. Tried covering it up with a lot of opiate related drugs and now i gotta deal with this emptiness and an addiction.. Shits mint:cool:
  9. Nah don't say that! Try to be positive
  10. I'm kind of in your position... everything is just "grey". It is what it is.

  11. He did just tell you about it, :laughing:

    Any more info, school, job? What's your day like?

  12. Yeah. I cover it up with opiates rarely, but sometimes I do. Life is fucking suffering.

  13. If your asking me - Nothing. No school. No job. Too paranoid to do that shit.

  14. lol, what?
  15. Very similar position my friend, with a slight difference. I met a girl four months ago who changed my life. Ive been on here writing similar stuff and can hand on heart say that i would have topped myself by now had i not met her.

    It sounds so simple, but occupy all spare time. If you dont get away from your lonely thoughts, they will eat at you. Im speaking like im out of that phase though, if we break up i know that i wouldnt be alive very long.....
  16. ill be your friend, im serious, where do you live?

  17. Why? Scared of being judged?

  18. I had a girl that changed my life. Then, like everything else, she left.

    I live in Kentucky, man. =/

    Scared of being judged? Not at all. I don't give a FUCK about what people think. I'm scared of their actions. I've been beaten up and jumped many many many many times.
  19. #19 Skeptix, Nov 17, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 21, 2011

  20. I'm not sure how to not do anything. It's all I know, as sad and pathetic as that is. I was raised on a computer. I'll be nineteen in like fourty days and I've never worked a day in my life. I dropped out of school, too. Man, you should read my memoir.

Share This Page