I cant find myself..

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Kanatiki, Sep 28, 2010.

  1. #1 Kanatiki, Sep 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2010
    to make my life story short, im starting from scratch. I joined the USNavy out of family tradition and i couldnt stand it, i was on an aircraft carrier and i didnt like hearing how the bombing missions went and how many people i helped kill. Now im out and i need to find work. I have strong aspirations for myself, but no ambition because i cannot find a way to make my dreams reality. I'd be perfectly happy delivering pizzas, tending a garden to grow herb and food, and growing old with someone i love. I'd be equally happy to earn enough money to live free (monetarily) on a boat sailing my days away.

    I know what i want but i cannot find the path, i feel everything hinges on that path and the indecision is agnozing. Too many variables for me to handle, i feel like i've had this "life anxiety" since my last days of procrastinating through high school and joining the navy on a whim. Once i was in the navy this feeling went away, but i wasnt proud of what i was doing....leading to this re-kindled fire of darkness that spawned in me again. The "life anxiety" is back.

    I have no money, and im smart enough to know that any job i could get would require on-site training, but people always want experience... i mean i maintained a nuclear reactor working 5 hours on 5 hours off for 9 months ffs...how difficult is it to use a measuring tape and hammer in a few nails 9 hours a day. I really cant figure out where to start. I'd even be happy with volunteering if they provided food/housing.

    Ive spent a year now idle, living with my mom...its getting rather tiresome and shameful. Ive spent that year relaxing and trying to find myself, just very slowly and ive realized that its not me that doesnt fit into the world, its the world that doesnt fit into me. Ive also realized that i need to overcome this and jam the square peg into the circle hole before its too late. I want to kick myself in the ass but i dont know how.

    thanks for reading
  2. Sound like a candidate for Peace Corp:)
  3. Take a step back, smoke a bowl and then think about it! Whatever feels right man :smoke:
  4. ive looked into peace corps, college degree req'd...college is so overrated, especially when you are poor.

    and HIGHliketheSKY, ive been doing that for a year :| thanks tho

  5. yeah Peace Corps always makes you wait a long time to join and reportedly is not that helpful to those you are supposedly helping...
  6. You answered your own question. You just need to go out a get a job and maybe move out.

    I'm in the same boat. Live with parents, unemployed for a couple months, and need money. After a very introspective high the other day, I realized that my life was like a mild version of A Clockwork Orange.
  7. #7 Kanatiki, Sep 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2010
    i didnt answer my question im afraid, i already know what i want. Its not as simple as get a job and move out, theres a bagillion things i can do for a job....in this existence whether you like it or not your job is a major part of life and subsequently defines you. Its an infinite equation with infinite varibles.....the answer to that is 42.

    And doing whatever feels right isnt an option, or it'd be taken already.....jobs never feel right to me. Now if i could get a job growing weed, or amateur porn, or doing nothing, it'd be a different story, but the chance of me getting a job i'd like are in short supply, if any, or already taken. I lack the entrepreneurial spirit i think.
  8. If you already know what you want then didn't you already find yourself?

    A person shouldn't let their job define them. Theirs a lot more to life than having a job. Most people just work to live.
  9. i know a person shouldnt let their job define them, but if your doing it for most of your life then it does define you, everyone works to live unless you've won the lottery or gained an inheritance, or retired early from getting really lucky, or invented something, or w/e.

    Me saying i know what i want is the endgame, so no i didnt find myself because i havent found a suitable job. For me at least a suitable job has to be non-menial, thats top of the checklist. I was thinking about becoming a pilot, but theres alot of bureaucracy and BS, not to mention the lack of actual jobs, and especially the US economy. So without becoming an expat, its really a dream :|

    i can handle anything thrown at me, ive been in the most stressful job i can think of in the USN. Mentally stressful at least, i cannot even think of a job more stress inducing, except maybe for an astronaut's. With that in mind, my mental capacity is up to par for most anything i would want. I just cant stand to do anything i would actually want to do, i.e : politician (ultimate unobtainable dream), Lawyer (same problem with speaking). Doctor would be nice, but i have no way to pay for the education, and i'd prefer something less stress inducing.

    All i can think of for jobs is broad spectrum, when everything is specialized it makes even thinking about what would be the perfect job a mind-blowing task. i just dont know wtf im doing
  10. I heard you can get a job at some tropical resorts on islands and such and they give you housing and food for your hard work in exchange. My friend was trying to convince me at one point to give that a shot with him but it didnt seem like it for me at the time. I dont know though maybe that something you can look into. Anyways good luck to you and hope you find all the answers to life. ;)
  11. Who says you have to get a job right now that will be your career for the rest of your life?

    For a career, think about what you are passionate about and go from there.

  12. I know if I were young and male, I'd fucking travel the world. Save up money with a menial job...even if its delivering papers..get enough to go to some place like above. Windows will open up.
    If you can get a college education (family), get an occupation that helps people. Ive found that to be key. Good luck....my bf is in the same situation, only older (probably) than you. If you seek you will eventually find...one day. :p
  13. Is there any way you can apply the technical skills/trade you learnt in the Navy to a different profession? Employment in the maritime industry is not limited to the military. If you wish to avoid offshore work you may be able to pursue a role with a marine manufacturer.

    You've also expressed an interest in aviation. Have you considered becoming an AME or an Avionics Technician? This is an occupation that is well suited to those interested in international travel.

    Should you in fact still be interested in offshore work, there is a lot of money to be made working on an oil rig, or perhaps on a fishing trawler.

    Good luck!

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