I Can't Figure Out What Direction to Take My Life In

Discussion in 'General' started by TLF1088, Apr 11, 2009.

  1. I'm 21 years old. I think most people would say at my age it's still alright to not know exactly what you want out of life.

    My problems a little different though. It's hard to explain, but it's almost if I have two different personalities.

    One personality could dominate over the other one for months at a time before the other one takes control.

    For instance, I'd say for the last 4-6 months, I've lived more of a carefree lifestyle. I knew what I wanted from life then. I wanted to make a living for me. Don't want to a family, don't even want a girlfriend. My money is for me. I go out, I party, I get ****ed up, I do it again. I do the bare minimum in school, at work, and at home.
    I want a life of no responsibility. **** the white picket fence, middle class home and 3 kids. I want to travel around and have fun in my life.


    But then there's the other "personality." All of a sudden, after a year of being like that I change how I think and act completely. School becomes very important again, I want to try and find a girlfriend, I want to settle down. I stop partying, it's a waste of time and bad for my health. I start working out again, doing my best at work, helping out my family as much as possible. Spending more time with them instead of getting drunk with my friends.


    Now you might say, "Well obviously you just became more mature." But this "second personality" has been in control before. I went through it for a few months just like the other "personality."

    Basically I've been alternating between these two lifestyles since high school.


    I have no control over it. One just takes over from the other one.
     
  2. IMO, you're compartmentalizing and looking for a rational way to explain your, for lack of a better term, mood swings. I don't think you actually have dual-personalities, I just think you get caught up in it all, just like everybody else. Something in your head clicks and you decide it's time to buckle down for a while...then you realize how fun a life void of actual responsibility can be, and you switch back.

    Every young adult has the same problem as you. You're not alone, and you're probably overthinking it.
     
  3. Pack your shit up and travel the country/world.

    I plan on doing it once I'm off probation.
     


  4. hell yea, you're only 21 man. do it now while you can..maybe later in life you'll have a change of mind and really want to settle down. travel now, while you can. get fucked up..have fun.
     
  5. yea man, im in a similar kind of situation. I was all buckled down until like junior or senior year, and then i started kinda swapping back and forth like you. I started smoking, and i wanted to just chill, and make enough money to blaze, chill and get by. Then my grades fell, college applications were coming up, and i started working hard again. Then, once i did all my applications, i was back to my laid back self all senior year. First month or two of college i was serious, then i started slipping - kept my grades enough though. THen this year (sophmore year) i've reallllllly stopped caring about school for some reason. This semester was a complete waste, ill end up with like, 3 credits (one class), i got myself into credit card debit, and i dont have a job. I sit home n dont do much since i really have no classes now... i still chill with my friends and have a good time - but now im freakin out and panicking - realizing im about to be a junior, with sophmore amount of credits - im in debt - and i guess im realizing i have to stop fucking around even though i dont want to. Im also starting to want a girlfriend, almost like i need one to help straighten me out... something i never wanted before really...

    fuck... i hate being in this dilemma...
    and it is a dilemma.
    Its like, college is the last years of the good life... but going through it succesfully just dumps you into the real world where you fall into the gears of society... something i really dont want. Not to mention im a musician/artist at heart - in school i have little time to work on my music. So everyone says, well when you graduate, then you can work on it. Only thing is i know that once i graduate, ill take the first and highest paying job im offered. That job almost deffinitely WONT involve music. There. Now im another 9-5 joe blow, working to get by for the rest of my life, only picking up the axe hear and there, only to remind me of what i always wanted to do.

    rant/ramble... feels good to get it out though lol.
     
  6. I agree with everyone else.

    I have always wanted to just travel the country too. I mean, I am still young, it could be my only chance to. But sadly I don't have the money.

    Something about packing my shit up and just driving everywhere. Seeing all the big cities, and little towns out in the middle of nowhere. I want to leave without even a map. Just drive and let the road take me where ever. Sleep in motels along the way..Eat at a little mom and pop diner somewhere.
    I think that would be awesome.
     
  7. Man do the right thing. You're free now so go travel and do all the things you've always wanted to do. I know i plan to before i even think about a family. Don't have kids unless you absolutely are ready cuz thats 18 years of your life right there. Im not sayin kids are bad, im just sayin theres a time and place for everything and when your young you should be havin fun not struggling to pay the bills.
     
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