Hi guys. It's me again. A couple of legal disclaimers first so i don't get sued or flamed or anything. Firstly, I'm a man. The following words are just my 2 cents only. Not God's 2 cents, Science's 2 cents, your 2 cents or anybody else's 2 cents. Just my opinions and observations. I'm not here to try to explain shit. Explaining shit doesn't really do shit anyway. Instead i'm here to offer answers that will make you get along better with any woman in the world. We ok with this so far? Ok, moving along. The previous Buddha said that there's more than one way to skin a cat (he said it in a more snotty, religious way but it's the same thing). Heaven actually has multiple entrances and there's no one right way to do things. Same thing with relationships with women. So i'll just throw out a bunch of scenarios and let you ladies decide for yourselves and i'll leave it at that. The first way that came to my mind was this. Instead of thinking about how hard it is for women to get along with other women, let's flip the script around. Erase women antagonizing women for a moment and clear your head. Instead i want you to picture a moment when 2 women bonded as deeply as 2 women can bond together, whether they be friends, lovers, business partners or what have you. Maybe you've had a moment like this in your life. Maybe you haven't but you can think of a moment in your favorite book or movie where 2 women held each other while they cried tears of joy. Perhaps one of them after trying for years, finally managed to get pregnant and is so shaken by the emotionality of her fully realized self that she needs to hold onto another person to share all the emotions raging through her. And it has to be a woman, because only a woman can truly understand what it feels like. They may stay like this for hours, all night long even. Crying together, sharing their stories, comforting each other, making plans for a brighter future together. Do your best to live this moment in your mind. Feel what they feel. Cry their tears. You may have not felt this level of emotion in a long time, but trust me, it's there. Tap into it and be these two women. Hold this scene of tender love and friendship in your heart as long as you can, reliving it over and over. When you have reached a place of calm and serenity, let go of this memory. Then get up and go out into the world and make friends with another woman. And tell me this little exercise didn't help. It's what buddhists call understanding other people's karma. My next approach is a bit more Darwinian. Now, a lot of people slam Darwinist thought as effective yet inhumane and cruel. And while it often is, it can sometimes be the most compassionate way to see the world. So let's look at woman vs. woman this way: Women are locked in an eternal struggle to compete with each other for limited resources. Yes, women want to find mates, but not just any mate. You want Brad Pitt, not the bum across the street, not the creep at Dunkin Donuts who touches your hand just 1/10th of a second too long when he gives you change, and maybe not even the guy that you currently sleep with or even are married to. We all want whoever is the most beautiful, be it man or woman. It's simply our genetic destiny. You can't really change it, even if you tried. All of you women out there know that there's very, very few Brad Pitts out there. Supplies are very, very limited and you must act fast or they will all be gone. (think of wedding dress clearance sales at filene's basement). So right off the bat, in order for you to get a Brad Pitt, a million other women have to do without him. That's reason number 1 for all the women to hate you. Because you have a man and they don't or because your man is better than theirs. Beyond just getting a mate, there's also the rearing of children. This is where social hierarchies come into play. Women feel compelled to climb as high as they can up the social ladder because of the need to provide the best for their children and for themselves. There are other Darwinian concepts to explain human behavior, but i think you're starting to get the idea. Just use google if you need to know more. Now, most of these darwinian principles are at work in your subconscious mind, but they do in fact cause a lot of women to give each other those looks, among other things. It's quite possible that you look exactly like the woman who her husband cheated on. It's possible that you're wearing the dress she bought that very morning and now she knows that it looks better on you than her. Maybe her husband just beat her 25 minutes ago......You see where i'm goin with this? You really have no clue what's in her head and it's arrogant to go around thinking you know what all women are thinking. But i'll tell you a big secret. Every time a woman gives you a dirty look, it's because she's in pain. Yup. That's it. Those looks, that drama, all the cattiness, it comes from pain. Their pain. Not yours. An enlightened woman can see through this and understand that the other woman is only acting out her pain in front of you. Her own karma. Sometimes the most compassionate thing to do is to just leave and remove the most painful thing in the room for her. Look, i know it sucks to miss out on a date for 2 at Jean Georges, but believe me, no amount of perfectly seared foie gras is gonna make that dinner pleasant with the woman at the table across from you wanting to kill you because you look like the woman who took her husband away 2 years ago. But, if you're like me, and have the ability to get right in there and start befriending her, then you must make yourself as non-threatening as possible to her while obliquely showing what a great gal you are. The type of gal who other gals want to be around. The type of gal where they go "Oh FINALLY, stephmarie, a girl who finally understands me and doesn't judge me. She really knows how to listen and she's a true friends through and through. Even when i'm raging with hormones and acting crazy." If you can be this type of girl for the other girl, then you can defuse her anxiety and her fears and begin to build a trust and camaraderie that may one day lead to true friendship. We men have practiced this sort of behavior for thousands of years, ever since we began organizing ourselves into armies and fought wars. We call it "being the bigger man" and without it, you can not hold 20,000 men to one common purpose. Now it's you ladies' turns. It's very new and very 20th century for you all, but why not give it a try? Be the "bigger woman" so to speak. Understand that you can be successful in life without rubbing it in other women's faces. Understand that you can help yourself and help the other girl too. Don't wait for her to do it. YOU DO IT. Be a leader. Be the compassionate one. Study Eleanor Roosevelt. She was a master at this. Study the kind of women who form Breast Cancer Research societies and form networks of hundreds of thousands of women across the world. Don't study their achievements. Study how they get along with other women. If they can do it, why can't you? I realize that forming friendships is hard work. It always is. If you're not willing to put this much effort into it, then sit down and shut up. If you don't wanna do the work, then you don't deserve any of the rewards of friendship. Look, i gotta go. Sorry i rushed the darwinian part of this, and am not going to be able to get to the psychology based part (mother-daughter relationships and blah,blah,blah) for now. I have a dinner date (gotta practice what i preach!) and will have to get back to you guys later. Feel free to tell me to shut up if i'm just being a dumbass. Play safe kiddies!