I can drive myself crazy over her

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by CLKWRK, Feb 12, 2014.

  1. We got back to where we used to be, chit chatting and nothing being awkward, which i love. I really do, i'm ok with not being "with" her while we hang out. I'm not even technically with her at all. Though i wish we were. I can see myself holding out for her, as long as it took.
    If you were to see people as puzzle pieces, and the matches are, well, matches. She'd be mine, i feel. I want to take care of her and simply love her, but she won't let me, i understand why and can accept and respect it. It just sucks that i have to either keep these emotions to myself, or explain them to one of my best friends. I can't express them to her, in fear of pushing her away. I just want to love her. I would love her, to let me love her.
    I'm not sure why, but i feel like her's telling her to come through to get laid. When i listen to it, though, i hear (come on over, we should kick it and be with each other.) I've been listening to this song for the past 2 to 3 days and it seems to have helped (denial?) Though when ever i listen to it, i automatically think about her. I thought about her a little less today, was hoping her ankle is fine, and hoping her new month long assignment is going well. Just hoping things are going well for her.
    Asked her if she was gonna do anymore moving after i got off work, she said she was hoping too. Asked her if it wouldn't happen would she want to hangout for a little bit anyway. Basically was told she might be with a chick tonight, strictly to get laid. She used TLC though, and while i didn't know what it meant exactly at the moment i had a general idea of what she was hoping would happen. 
    This hurt, she told me she wasn't attracted to her though (emotionally anyway) and just wanted some good sex. Which i can understand. Just wish i could be with her.
    Almost broke the dam earlier when talking with Cory about it. I feel i gotta break the dam, or i might go a bit crazy soon. Haven't broken the dam for almost a good decade or more. To be honest though, i'd rather it break when it's me and her. I think she would really, know, that i feel, that i need her. I don't feel right thinking that in the future the possibility of us connecting, is not there.
    I can go a few days without seeing her, and fairly little contact. We got our own stuff we gotta do, i get that. But the idea of not being able to be with her, at all, to gaurd her, make her happy, that someone else could. Ruins me. It makes me want to cry right now, thinkin about it.
    Yea i sound like a little bicth, cryin over a women, blah blah.
    I just want to be the person who can make her smile, and let her know day in day out, I got you, and i won't let shit happen to you if i have any say in the matter.

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  2. lol before I reply to ur post a few things i'm confused what "breakin the dam" means lol. and second u said she was hanging with a chick strictly to get laid? is she bi or gay or what lol? and as far as the drake song goes a lot of drake songs are really complex about treating women like hoes but also the emotional side of it, thats why he's popular a lot really because he talks about things a lot of guys dont.
    and with this girl, I've felt like this for a guy. I think the reason I felt like it was because I got to know him well enough where I knew I liked him but not enough to have reason not to like him and distance became a factor and we never really got to date each other and so my mind can get carried away with how much I actually liked him. it feels impossible to ever actually let go of him it kind of sucks, like I can date other guys but he's in the back of my mind. then again another part of me says if he really liked me he would've acted on it no matter what, but I end up making excuses as to why he didn't, for example maybe he's too shy or he misjudged something about me that isnt true that he didn't like. overthinking really makes a mess of things.
    but part of life is getting mentally fcked up about something (not just other people, maybe a project you put years of your life into failed for example), learning from it, growing, and getting over it and moving on, then having a a nice phase of life until inevitably ur mind gets fucked up again by something else and the process repeats. his is why some people say things like "u dont die when you get put in the grave, u die when you stop living" because people get suck in some fucked up phase n cant get out. the best way to get out is to want to and to also try to i guess.
    but really tho u should try lookin for hints that she likes you. or liked you. by that I mean maybe when u guys first started hanging out (idk how long ya'll known eachother) she was into you but thought u werent into her so she gave up and just became ur friend. like maybe u didnt make a move soon enough or something, maybe she was flirty in the past but isn't now. i just say that because usually if a girl is into a guy and he make it clear he's into her she's pretty receptitive to it. the only reason she may not be is if she doesn't have relationship experience and is not used to reading guys.
    whatever this post a lil long i was drankin earlier sorry lol
  3. Shes a lesbian. So the sit. kina speaks for itself.

    what does a dam hold?

    Im aware of whats most likely going to happen, just wish it would go better
    Are you a female as well?
    Or a guy?
    I am sorry, it's a terrible situation to be in, but I think it's a futile desire that you're going to have to move on from.
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  6. I've been reading most of the threads you've been posting. You need to get over her. You sound obsessed with this girl which might hurt your friendship if you get too clingy.
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  7. im aware of this. Im trying to move on, really am. Its just been difficult. Though getting a tiny bit easier as the days go by.
    One step at a time. Good luck.
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  9. You're weird. The emotions you are expressing sound like those of a really young high-school kid. So either grow up... or grow up. She's a lesbian! That means you have no chance. Move on. The girl ain't even worth keeping around if she's never gonna be with you. Even if she does get with you eventually she'll leave you - cuz she's gay.
    "Maybe he does have a chance!" Maybe. But I want someone who wants me. Not someone who wants me because I want them.
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  10. Good to know
  11. in the same situation man.... theres literally nothing u can do.
    people make their own decisions, even tho we actually do kno whats best for them, we cant make em love us.
    but at the end of the day you'll realise you just want to be happy finally.
    and unfortunately happiness doesnt come with her. everything passes, so will your feelings.
    just never lower ur self value. ur worth. ur confidence.
  12. #13 240sxLover, Feb 13, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 13, 2014
    You just need to break all contact, forever man. Like really forever. I had a girl from high school I obsessed over like you are, who would have nothin to do with me. I got to college and all was peachy keen for a year. Sophomore year, she starts going to my uni, 11 hours from where we're from! I'm in constant fear of seeing her around the next corner. Yesterday I saw her while I was doing homework on campus, and everything just... fell apart. I walked n talked with her, saying how I'm quite honestly hurt that she has to be here of all places, in my new home town. But it got nowhere, sure she was kind about everything but it just did nothing but make me realize how fuckin stuck in the past I am. I mean for christ's sake I have a gf of 4 years, and I know that my feelings for my gf are of the true nature of love. But as long as I still see that girl from HS, I'll always be on the verge of shattering. I mean, I got drunk last night. On a Wednesday.
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    I've used this method in the passed. And for awhile it worked. Then i would just check up on fb and ask how their doing. But considering i also work with her, it's very, very difficult to break all contact. And we also talk to the same people, words get around, just how it is.
    So please advise me on how to get over this with all that in the way, because i'm not breaking contact. I've found that never helped with anything really (for me anyway). It was my cowards way out, didn't want to deal with it. Out of sight, out of mind. I think she deserves better then that.
    Just saying.
  14. Suit yourself man, but I don't have a fb myself, I think that's a good life move as well.
  15. My situation is similar except im sleeping with her, you compelled me to sign up.ill comment later because I getting f*cked up tonight.

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