I know bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks. but beyond that everyone wants somebody to be theres. ive been alone sence 2009, and every day is seems to be worse. i know i dont go out much. but i figure why even bother with it, im not shit and not good at all. i got mental problems.... not like retarded. but i got a list of things that are wrong with me, i got Depersonalization disorder: Depersonalization disorder (DPD) is a dissociative disorder in which the sufferer is affected by persistent or recurrent feelings of depersonalization and/or derealization. Diagnostic criteria include persistent or recurrent experiences of feeling detached from one's mental processes or body.[1] The symptoms include a sense of automation, going through the motions of life but not experiencing it, feeling as though one is in a movie, loss of conviction with one's identity, feeling as though one is in a dream, feeling a disconnection from one's body; out-of-body experience, a detachment from one's body, environment and difficulty relating oneself to reality. OCD schizophrenia im very paranoid, delusional. im not a bad guy, i mean well. i care about everybody. i would do anything even help out my worse enemy. lately i have been really wanting just to end my life. im not here for attention, im here to see if anyone truely can give me words of wisdom. or if anyone has the same disorders. i dont take any medication which, it might help somone like me but A-costs way to much for all the shit i need to be on, B- the pills make me feel some what normal, if being a clueless zombie is normal. i am sorry, that i had to resort to wasting your guys time with this. i just want to know is anyone else out there in the same boat, or was? i really need a friend.
i havent had a girlfriend since 2009 either, im only 22 and moved an hour away from all my friends for a new job in may. i havent really met any new ppl around here yet so i can relate but i really dont have any advice, its something im still trying to figure out myself...
ive been in hospitals in and out. for the past 2 years. i even got a good visitor after my parents called there management because i missed his rap concert because i tried to off my self. so after the concert this great human came and helped me a bit but that was a year ago and it helped me throughout the year. but now im back to this shitty feeling that makes me so fucking sick. and not wanting to be anywhere. im not comfortable anywhere. ever. the girl of my dreams just a week ago found a nice guy and im happy for her. but im left here, alone. and she was the only one to ever know me, and understand and genuinley care for me, but i fucked her around to much, because im wierd. and now its all on me. and its bad.
dont apologizze for who you really are, let it all hang out. you know what they say when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. We are all crazy, dont let the doctors tell you whats up, make life for yourself.
thank you sir, or mam... im confused if your a girl because of your name on here. but im thinking your a guy. i really appreciate it, really do man.
dont worry about it man!,, and whatever you do .. dont end your life!! what if theres nothing on the other side..?? that would be a buzzkill!! enjoy life, were only here for so long!! peace
i know thats why i do want to die though, finally be at peace. you know. no more fucked up things, no more bad thoughts. no more disapointment. i want to live though i want to be happy, i want to live long and happy. but thats the problem i dont think that can ever happen.
Medication may help but in the end its not worth it, for me i guess i have some disabilittys too. it just made it worst for me. yeah for real man, i've been alone at it too so i guess this year is a time for me to stand up.
Everybody has a different life. Dont look at other poeple and think wow... i wish i could have that kind of life, it really dosent help. Im not saying you do that but just think about things and how they could be so much worse. This is alittle random. But, if you ever get a chance to watch the pursuit of happiness it will make you fucken smile. It also gives you a perspective on life. And yes. i would definatly say dont go with medication. In the long run they just kinda fuck you over. I used to take Zoloft for mild depression and it has HORRIBLE withdrawals. and ever since iv been off it, if had these mood swings that are just not me. I always hear about these new diseases and disorders researchers have come up with. I really dont think there is a such thing as a disorder like ADD, ADHD, autism, and so on. I think thats just what the person who is 'diagnosed' with something is just someone being themselves. Its kinda hard to explain how i feel about this. But i hope you get it lol.
I don't have any disorders so I am not going to claim to relate to you on that. I don't think a girl will fix your problem. I can't tell you what you need but I don't think its a girl. If you have any hobbies or interests look on the internet or in local communities for a group that involves what you like. No one is going to come in and fix the situation for you. I know that going out and being around people can be very uncomfortable. I had a confidence problem when I was younger and could not stand being around people that weren't my friends, but I still did it and that's how I made the friends I had. Don't ever sell yourself short. Don't let your disorders define who you are. I think if you get out you will find there are a lot of good people out there. I'm not going to lie there are some real shitty ones to but they aren't all like that. It seems like you have a confidence problem like I had. I fixed this through a summer job with my brother in law working landscaping. For some reason physical work was my salvation and through that I built confidence. I was not as strong as the other men at the start but I always worked my ass off even though it was obvious I was not like them. Through this I gained respect and thus confidence. I'm not a therapist I'm not a doctor but my number one piece of advice is to find someone. Maybe look for like an online dating site or community for people with disorders. They will understand and accept you and I'm pretty sure you will find that you are not as different as you think you are. Whatever you do DO NOT TAKE YOU OWN LIFE. It is not only a disservice to you but the world. From what I read you seem like a at least halfway decent person. These are becoming more and more rare now days. Pleas man whatever you do don't end it.
No problem man, my sister had similar mental issues. I think her real problem is she doesnt love herself. learn to love yourself first
Live in the moment man. It really is helpful, don't base yourself off your past, and don't worry about the future, cause the only real thing is the present. Everyday is the start of your life.
thank you all, alot. i read all what you guys posted im just to lazy right now to quote it all in this reply. i take it all to heart, and believe it or not everyhting you guys said will stick with me. probably forever. i love grasscity. so much. of course there is haters.(none in this thread) and when it really means something deep no one hates, thats why i love this forum so much. everyone is so down to earth and real. its just amazing. really i mean it.
I think I have some sort of depersonalization. I've looked into it before and can definitely relate with some of the symptoms. Firstly, i'd say stop doing any harder drugs than weed, that is if you do any, for a little while. If you smoke weed, which I assume you do since you're on GC, and it truly helps you out, then fuck it, smoke it a little. Enjoy the time you're given on this planet. I get depressed as fuck for no apparent reason sometimes and I stress out about everything, but music and weed get me through the day. Hmm...if you don't have a job, I'd advise getting one. Even though it doesn't sound like a great idea, you'll eventually get to know and like some of the people at your job and you won't feel as alone. And since you're making money, you'll at least have some sort of feeling of self worth. As for the pills, this is only my opinion but I honestly don't trust any pills that a pharmaceutical company would give me for depression/anxiety/shit like that. Well, maybe some pills but the kind that fuck with your neurochemistry, I really don't know about. It just seems like a bad idea to be prescribed those pills, I've heard horror stories of it really fucking some people up in the long run, and making some people worse off than they were to begin with.
hey, yeah dude. i smoke like maybe a gram of weed a week somtimes a few one hitters every night. ive never done hard drugs ever. only shit ive done was smoke weed and cigarettes. i wouldnt drink if anyone paid me. i hate alcohol(not judging anyone out in this world/ just my personal preference it seems to make people around here crazy. like violent and just strange, not saying it does that to everyone, just from what ive seen i dont want to do it, giving my mental problems/ thats the reason i never tried anyhting other then weed.). and yeah i dont like pills(medications for my disorders). they seem to make me sick. im currently in school. but yes i agree a job would help me a shit load. get my license do things. see more faces. hang wiht people.
For sure, getting your license would help too. At least work towards something, a goal or just something. Just so you feel accomplished and you don't gotta feel like you're nothing and all that bullshit. I have found that on my days that I have totally off from work and college, I feel like a fucking bum and just sit around and eventually end up depressed and bored. And about ending your life, I've had thoughts of that before. But it's so fucked up that I just would never be able to go through with it. And think of it this way, is there really any logic behind ending your life? Because after that, it's done. There's no "getting better" or "fixing things up and being happy again," it's just finished. Everything. You end up being remembered as a hanging body or a bloody mess.
hell yeah dude. days off are good.(when like in your case, you actully have a job and school) but all i do is go to school 9 30 am- 11 45 take off campus lunch break from 11 45 till 12 30 go back from 12 30 till 2 30. so i really dont work to long/hard. but yeah if i miss a day im like man fuck im lazy i have such short class days lol. so days off to me are like bad because i feel lazy and bummy enough for my school hours let alone. i literally dread weekends. like i wish school for me was 7 days a week. its wierd to hear anyone say that. i know. lol because at least at school i hang with some friends. and kind of have fun on lunch break smoking with cool people. and socializing
Man I know times have been hard for you, but look for light at the end of the tunnel please. Don't end your life, what if there really is nothing after that like someone said before. Try to ride out these times and I really hope things start to turn out better for you. If you think positive, positive things will happen eventually. Thinking negatively like suicide won't get you anything except feeling worse. Think positive and try to find a girl who is the one for you. It will happen man, and I really hope things get better for you. Please don't commit suicide, I'm sure you will be missed. Just remember that there's light at the end of the tunnel man.