I haven't done anything wrong. But I've already felt it creeping in. I still have feelings for my ex, and he recently started talking to me. i am so fucked up in the head, i don't know what to do i've never felt this way like i love my boyfriend, i do... but this is like the one man the one that got away we go way back to swapping virginities and high school, as well as high we were on and off for 4 years which isn't really a big deal but im 20 and even though i am not going to leave my boyfriend, i still can't resist the urge to engage in conversation with him even though i know it's wrong
Don't beat yourself up. You are young. Life will work itself out if you let it. Be honest with yourself. Accept your feelings for what they are, do not let them cause you anxiety. Worrying about them will accomplish nothing. Simply note them, that they are there, and stay committed to the decision you have made. It is under a false pretense that we have weak will, that we cannot control ourselves. We can control ourselves, we simply have to be confident in our ability to do so while being true to ourselves and those around us. You are not going to hell, dear. You are a wonderful creation. Respect yourself, forget your shame, and do what it is that you know you can do.
I feel ya girl, but you're not going to hell. You're a real person with real feelings. You or nobody can't deny that. Also ^ above what they said. Be honest and always respect yourself. The way I see this situation, it would totally be naturally for you to have these feelings for someone that you have spent a lot of time of your life with. If you know talking to him is wrong, than don't do something you will end up regretting.
Ill never understand girls who will drop their shit, their logic, their loyalty, their friends, all for one former guy in their life who they hold above all others. (Although some might say this is the definition of love.) Ive been in your current BF's shoes before and its an awful feeling. You will likely destroy him fyi. And I can already tell your gonna hook up/whatever with your ex, because you didn't turn him down when he started RE-talking to you. You value his words over your current BF's then and you still do now.
You know how many times i've heard the saying from ALL of my buddies at point "Dude, you took her v-card, she'll love you forever!" Don't fall for that crap, if you love your boyfriend whats the problem, don't let yourself be alone with the dude and if he finds you just walk away. Or dont, i dont really give a fuck, i think if you fuck the other dude and then post it the thread would get super juicy.
Resist the urge to talk to him. I know its hard, but you have to. My ex asked me out again right when my bf and I started dating. We had been friends since the break up and we hooked up occasionally. After he got over me telling him no he started trying to text me again and I just stoped answering him. My bestfriend is a guy and he flipped out on me the other day because I told him that my bf wasn't really comfortable with us going to the movies together (which is understandable because he's an ex and I used to fuck him once in a while after we broke up). My friend got all mad and started yelling at me and shit. But I had to be loyal to my bf (and honestly its not that big of a deal, we can do anything except go to the movies) and stick to my decision. I've know my friend for 6 years now, we go way back and we've been through a lot. My bf and I have been dating for almost 5 months now. But I was still loyal to him and his feelings. I love him and couldn't imagine hurting him. If you really love your bf you should be loyal to him (as long as what he wants isn't crossing over into being controlling) and treat him as you'd want to be treated. You have some residual feelings for your ex and you need to get over that. If you can't then maybe you don't feel as strongly for your bf as you think you do...
[quote name='"docleary"'] not necessarily true. best thing to do OP, is open up to your boyfriend about it.[/quote] Hahahhahahahaha nice joke
What's the issue with talking to an ex? Regardless if there are still feelings, If things didn't end terrible and you don't hate the person, what's wrong with some conversation. Fuck i still hang out with a few of my ex's. Humans thrive on connections, so stimulate your mind with him. He's just another person on this planet. If you're committed to your new man, there's no issue. If it will help, tell your bf you guys are talking.
Imo if there are still feelings (she sees him as the one that got away), especially with a long history you shouldn't be talking. That's a rule I have for myself. And the fact that she can't stop suggests that her feelings are strong and that she can't control herself with this guy. That's why the talking should stop.
no offense but if you feel yourself to be vulnerable to your past relationship to the point where you don't even know IF you could control yourself, then contemplate whether you're entitled to be with the guy you're currently with. If he seriously loves you and is in it for the long haul, then all you're doing is playing some twisted game when you should be in a mutual point of feeling with him.
break up with your boyfriend first it would be better for both of you. Trust me there is nothing good about being known as the girl who cheated.
I'm super confused because the other day you were bragging about your boyfriend wanting to marry you and how he's the one but you need to live together first. My advice is to just be alone. Obviously you don't know what you want. Literally yesterday or two days ago it was marriage and today you're thinking about your ex. To save yourself from making a huge mistake and to save your boyfriend from making a bigger one, I would just walk away and have some alone time.