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I am going to die alone.

Discussion in 'Marijuana Consumption Q&A' started by Amanisdaj, Sep 30, 2012.

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  1. #1 Amanisdaj, Sep 30, 2012
    I'm in highschool. I had depression since 6th grade. I have two friends. Not like best friends, or close friends, just friends. People don't like me either. It's not because of anything except the fact I don't talk to a lot of people, because I'm shy I guess. I smoke weekly, maybe twice a week. My friends saw me a couple times, and tried to smoke by themselves. They smoked green tea for some reason, took a video, and sent it to a girl they like, who also smokes. An old friend of mine. She hates me now and turned them in. They had also made up stories, about the "old days when they first got high". They're jerkoffs I know. Recently those two friends were called in to the school, and caught for smoking. They played the video and all. They are suspended for three days. The girl told them I smoked to, but they had no evidence so I'm off. But the school knows I smoke, and I seem somewhat depressed. So they think I smoke constantly, like chainsmoking, and I do it to deal with my depression, and they're making jokes, and girls are telling me they want to go fuck me and have a smoke, then running away, giggling like fucking... the point is I am really depressed, I have nobody to talk to, and I am really lonely, so I post this here.
     
  2. #2 THCdelta11, Sep 30, 2012
    I know how you feel bro I have had depression for a while as well. try to break free from it.
     
  3. #3 SsYyNn, Sep 30, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 30, 2012
    Dude its just highschool trust me its lame as shit, I'm a introvert so I don't talk a lot to people and make a lot of friends. My friends and still to this day are from when I lived in apartments and hung with them everyday. After I moved I never made any more "best friends" and I knew everyone in highschool and didn't like anyone..

    I went to college and its a lot better, the people are a lot of cooler and more mature. I just started and already making some cool ass friends. Just wait till college man it's so much better. There is more work, but it's so much better.

    oh I thought I wouldnt meet a girl because I was shy, and bad with small talk, So I always texted girls and shit and never hung with them. Went to the beach with my some friends who invited girls, met one of them and its been 18 months now, also my first gf. And we don't plan on breaking up, We also have a different relationship than most people so I don't need that your young, your going to break up shit.
     
  4. #4 Modzilla, Sep 30, 2012
    I had a terrible highschool experience as well. All I can tell you is that shit gets so much better once you get out of that bullshit place.

    Remember, happiness is a mindset. Be relentlessly positive. Don't let the dumb bullshit get to you. You still have a lot of life to live.
     
  5. #5 Iluvatar, Sep 30, 2012
    Don't expect to make good friends in highschool bc most of the kids are idiots and too immature to put up with. I don't talk to even some of my good friends I had in HS, we're just way too different and most of them still seem less than interesting
     
  6. #6 SoothingSynesthesia, Sep 30, 2012
    Dude it's too soon to talk like that. Just start talking to people if they don't like you then fuck em'.
     
  7. #7 Crispy21, Sep 30, 2012
    As another introvert i know what you feel dude and it sucks
     
  8. #8 Amanisdaj, Sep 30, 2012
    Goog for you man. Love hearing peoples' turning points :)
     
  9. #9 Amanisdaj, Sep 30, 2012
    I tend to think like that, but then I think, is that how they see me?
     
  10. #10 shaddytheman, Sep 30, 2012
    OP, drop those friends and find some people that are actually chill, cool, interesting to be around and connect with you on a deeper level. Also smoke by yourself, you never know until you try it.

    Don't worry about man, I've been through the shitty times of H.S. and managed to get rid of my depression but having a great diet composed of Omega 3 (I advise to take this in either food form or supplement), having the fuck it attitude compliments of MJ and just letting the bullshit aside.
     
  11. #11 Iluvatar, Sep 30, 2012
    Good question, I've wondered that often myself but of course it doesn't matter.
    its much easier knowing people who don't like you for who you are(no matter how solitary you may seem) aren't even worth your time
     
  12. #12 asapdavid, Sep 30, 2012
    I hated when the teacher says pick a partner for this assignment..
     
  13. #13 AceHigh54, Sep 30, 2012
    There is so much past High School. Things will be better.
     
  14. #14 rrules, Sep 30, 2012
    Oh honey, u r so not alone. I am old now and still suffer from depression. I am diagnosed!! There are many ways that you can change those dark thoughts. Normal ppl don't understand how our brains work. The one thing I know for sure is that u have to love u no matter what!!! Once u love u nobody can take it from u. It is hard to get there but once u do, u just feel better not worrying what others think of u. Nobody knows the road u have traveled but u! I will be happy to be your friend and help u anyway I can. I have 4 daughters. The oldest are 21 and 18 they tell me EVERYTHING and no matter what it is I don't judge :)
     
  15. #15 Tree Of Life, Sep 30, 2012
    Change your mentality. You don't care what anyone thinks about you. You're not lonely, you're so fucking awesome that you enjoy spending time with yourself. You are your own best friend. You don't need anybody, but a few friends here and there are cool too. Don't make yourself feel like you have to impress anyone. Be happy with who you are and just enjoy the peace. You don't need anyone else to make you happy. It starts from within. So smile man. Pack a fat bowl and get stoned and just enjoy yourself. :D
     
  16. #16 Amanisdaj, Sep 30, 2012
    You just defined my life... Then the look to their friends, and the sigh when the last kid gets stuck with you....
     
  17. #17 SsYyNn, Sep 30, 2012
    yeh mmj made me a lot happier in life just because it gave me that "fuck that attitude"..in a good way tho. It made me not give a shit about the small stuff, and just focus on whats important.
     
  18. #18 toaster032, Sep 30, 2012
    I thought i was hot shit my first two years at high school. it wasn't so much that i wanted people to like me, they just did and that made me feel good about myself. Feeding into a false thing being ego. then something right at the end of sophomore year and the whole house made of bullshit collapsed around me. long story turned short i had no interest in living, i was really just tired of always being the "peoples person".

    after a while of moping around and lurking in blacky moods i eventually began to think along the lines of something like, you have to give yourself a reason to wake up every morning. it sounds really stupid and cliche, its been said so many times and it sound dramatic but its true. you have to find that one thing that makes you feel naturally, intrinsically human and you perform that action over and over.

    you have to find your own purpose. No one will do it for you
     
  19. #19 shaddytheman, Sep 30, 2012

    This. OP, take a puff and let MJ give you the ability to not to give a fuck, you focus less on the small things that you don't need to worry about and put your main focus on important things such as college, etc.
     
  20. #20 Iluvatar, Sep 30, 2012
    Op I think you should smoke more :)
     
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