well, my godmother's mother has been sick for a long time. she's had at least 5 strokes and still managed to survive them all, each one taking her back a bit, mentally and physically. last night i got the news she would be dying very soon so me and my 3 sisters rushed to the hospital to see what was going on. i digress from my original point. anyway, while i was talking to my mom on the phone she was breaking down, losing her composure. even at the place where she works where she's usually very professional. her crying reminded me of all the times where she's broken down until she is a shell of the vibrant person she usually is. and when she's broken by something she's off the chain crazy/sad. tears everywhere and she doesn't give a fuck about anything. she is completely ruled by her emotions. i, on the other hand find it difficult to cry in these situations. i may feel chaotic inside but my disposition is very together. when i see my mom like that i get mad because it's so annoying dealing with someone who's ballistic but i know i have to empathize with her because everyone is different and a normal person is hurt in these situations, it's just up to them to how they will display it. so why does this happen? what is going on in her head, what is she feeling that's so different from me? can someone help me understand and feel when it seems someone is ballistic and has no cares in the world just because of the sheer amount of emotional pain they are feeling?