To give a little bit of back story, before we got married I told him I was a pot head (even though I hate the term, I wanted him to know it's not just a weekend thing for me) and he seemed so promising saying that he knew a bunch of pot heads in college and he was completely okay with it. Long story short: what he thought were pot heads were just casuals. He hates when I say "I need to smoke" because he says that I sound like an addict. I use it as medicine and don't see it like that at all. Before I had to start smoking, I took nexium and when in pain I would say "I need my nexium" even though it was not addictive either. My doctor had to stop my nexium (which was the only thing that worked for the deficiency I was born with, other than starving myself which also works or weed which I found worked much later) because nexium ruins bone density which, as you can imagine, is super important to maintain as you get older. I honestly feel he would rather me get a horrid surgery that would make it so that I could never burp or throw up again, which might not sound bad to you or him, but I need to be able to burp and throw up.. If I accidentally drank even a little too much I would automatically have to go get my stomach pumped. And I only drink twice a year so I'm a light weight anyway and would be scared! He calls me an addict every day and it makes me feel bad because yes, I do rely physically upon this herb so that I do not throw up after every meal but in no way, shape, or form, do I need it for my mind so I do not see the problem with this "addiction". He gets mad at me sometimes for wanting it, but I never made him spend a penny on it so it's all funded by yours truly and I just feel like I should be able to take my mother fucking medicine without being judged!!! He has very little understanding of empathy (he even tried to argue that my definition of empathy was actually sympathy and when looking it up on the Internet he found out I was right in my definition). How do I explain this to him so he can get off my ballsack about this bullshit? He would probably tell a chemo patient that they are addicted to Chemo so legit I need help dealing with this fucking guy.
Kay, my wife also has medical issues and is a daily consumer. you may be able to change his perspective if you can sometimes switch up your method of intake. try edibles, not only do they last way longer, but they are more like a medicine dose in some peoples eyes. either way, you guys need counselling or something to work through this. i was the one that set up our small grow in the basement for my wife and i think i am as addicted to growing as she is to consuming haha. it would be aswesome if you could get him involved in this way.
Thank you, that list is helpful but he already knows the benefits, he just can't stop thinking about it as an illicit drug regardless! He thinks I'm using my medical condition as an excuse... But now that I think about it... I'm going to stop smoking for a week. And I will throw up every time I eat, everywhere and maybe he can finally see that my word 'need' is justified.
Awe that is so sweet, my husband smokes sometimes with me (he does it for fun but because he never has to say the word need he feels like that auto makes him better than me). His argument at one time was that if I'm high all day he never gets to see the real /sober/ me but to be totally honest I cannot feel like myself without it anymore (the way I say things def makes me sound like I'm addicted) but what I mean is when I smoke that everlasting pain in my stomach fades and allows me to think straight because I'm not focused on holding my food down!
I have asked him to agree to counseling because I have too much empathy (I cry if I see something bad happen to someone else) and he has almost none (he laughs at bad things). So it's a super weird relationship. He was super reluctant to agree but I told him I wasn't going to let him go to sleep until he at least said maybe to counseling.
Nobody needs to smoke. However for people using it medicinally, they need to treat whatever condition it is they are dealing with. can he tell when you are high? try just not letting him know, just do it on your own or when he is out of the house, next time he complains about you smoking just say that you have been high the whole time and if he didn't see a problem with the way you were acting then it clearly isn't impairing your judgement or ability to function in day to day life.
I feel like I've read this before? Anyway, this is shit you hash out BEFORE you get married. Goodluck, he sounds hard headed but the story is def 1 sided.
My wife and I were together like 7 years before we got married. 7 years of smoking herb for me and occasionally for her. I can't recall her ever throwing it in my face and she goes out of her way to surprise me with bud sometimes. She knows I can't function right if I don't have it. Definitely not addicted but it cures my ailments. She will make me feel like shit if I smoke a cigarette, though. I smoked cigarettes for longer than I smoked weed and it's hard to kick that addiction. Now I only smoke a cigar on occasion and weed when I need it. Your story makes me feel blessed. No real morals here, just wanted to share. My Journal
I'm not sure how you ended up married to a person that doesn't know you very well. Seems a bit irresponsible
i think you need to get him involved with your medication. if he is the type that is a problem solver, try to get him to make thc oil tablets, pretend you cant figure it out or get it right or something.
You can tell him you're addicted to not feeling sick, addicted to being able to eat. I don't like the term "pot head" either. I call myself a stoner quite freely but I feel the need to explain that I'm a medical user too, I don't want another crappy label thrown on me. Your relationship kind of sounds like mine, I'm a super emotional person and will cry, in fact I LIKE to cry, at the drop of a hat, even worse when I'm stoned. Hubby's not, and does not even want to bring it up or try to explain his own feelings, he just can't do it. It's like they can't understand what other people go through because they've never had to experience it. That's the only way they will ever be able to understand how sick we are. I share websites with hubby so he can get a clue that I'm freaking sick. All the time. He still just doesn't get it. If I figure it out I'll let you know. Chin up!
I like to hear his side of the story as well on this. Is he against the smoking just because he's a dick or does he have a valid reason to be against it? This is obviously a weed community and almost all here are for the herb. Having said that, I can see there being issues when someone is perma-high. OP's husband said he feels like he doesn't see the real her when she's high all day. That is a legitimate complaint. OP, if you need it every day, or simply want to live with it every day, then you two need to have a heart-to-heart conversation about this where everyone clearly outlines their stance. Since this is important to you there are only 3 outcomes: 1. You hash it out and you guys agree on a smoking schedule that suits you both and live happily ever after 2. You don't hash it out but decide to stay together. The same argument will be had over and over and over until everyone hates the other person for sheer repetition of annoyance. 3. You split
He is not even using the word addiction in the proper context. The word addiction applies a negative meaning to whatever act its associated with and so if its not a negative thing in your life, how can it be an addiction? Sure, maybe if you consume too much, however that does not sound like the issue if the context of your usage is medical. You can be addicted to anything, drugs just get the addiction rap sheet because its so much easier to say "I was addicted to this and because of that i did this" rather than saying "I chose to do this and was influenced by so and so drug." Often, when people bring up petty issues like this, its because there is a greater, underlying issue that is not being addressed and so to sort of address their stress with that they will begin to pick petty arguments until the truth comes out. Men are especially bad for this, since we often do not want to communicate our feelings to begin with.
As much as i dont want to have to say this, your right. The only way hes gona get it, is to see you in misery. Ive kinda been in your situation before. Im a recovering addict and almost done tapering from the meds that helped me get off what i was actually addicted too. Its been hell, period! Needless to say i NEEDED cannabis to help me with my withdrawals. Anyways my gf was okay with it completely but eventually she was always saying, "All you do is smoke?!" Or when i really need to smoke(bc of anxiety or RLS) she'd be like, "Your life revolves around weed, its like you have another gf!?" Always hounding me to the point i was getting annoyed. So i decided fine ill suck it up n quit randomly. Well, it took her only 2 days of seeing me in complete misery to surprise me(best surprise at the time) with a sack and a hardcore apology. Worst two days but defiantly needed
That's cool. Have you tried to use cbd to stop? I smoked 10+ years 2 packs a day. I used cbd + vape to quit it was put bad at all. Might be more if you use rosin or bho cbd. Thought I share some food for thought. Divorce rate is around 50%. Careful you are #9, #10, and heavy on #6. 10 Shocking Reasons Why Divorce Is SO Common These Days Good reads. There's Good News for Couples Who Smoke Weed Together Why Couples That Smoke Together Stay Together Other than that maybe you shouldn't be asking a bunch of people who do "approve" cannabis for different reasons. Much like the couple that sees the women therapist after a man cheats. Only to find out she's a man hating therapist who's been cheated on one too many times. Best advice seek help together or separate. Life's too short to be put down and named called. Your reasons and your thoughts on why you do something on yours.
I quoted you for your talk about cigs. The ending part of my posts is meant for the thread maker. I cleaned it made it more readable.
Ah ok. Yea you lost me at the second part lol. I did quit smoking cigarettes, if that's what you mean. At the end of that post I said I only smoke an occasional cigar and weed. Vaping nicotene helped me when I quit last time. It's been a year...maybe a tad over. Never tried cbd oil either My Journal
Ah I am sorry =/ Some times I skim read and miss the most important details in the end heh. Congrats bud I am a bit over 2 my self. Sorry again
