How to tell a stoner apart from a non-stoner

Non-stoner: Hey you smokin' pawt??AW SHIT LEMME HIT DAT 420 BLAZE IT FAGGOT ERRDAY ONE LOVE RASTA BOB MARLEY.
(10 seconds later) COUGHCOUGHCOUGHBLEUCHVOMITCOUGH

STONER: got a joint?ill match.
------
Stoner: Unfortunately all i have is an eight of mids at the moment.

Non stoner: DIS SHIT IS SUM CRAZY PURPLE LSD DRAGON ALABAMA OG GRANDADDY BUBBA SOUR LEMON KUSH FROM AMSTERDAM

 

Non stoner: acts like he knows how to roll a j.. Loose as fuck, 1 paper, no roach, mids. " we're getting fucked up!!!! Let's do some weed!!!"

Stoner: 5 prerolled in a pack of cigarettes.

 

Hey, I'm not the best roller but that doesn't mean I'm no stoner haha

 

Just look at their lighter and see if the child lock is off.

 

non stoner: ew i dont smoke blunts because wiz says there bad for you.
and doesnt own a piece

stoner: Blunts,bongs,bubblers,vapes as long as theres dank in there im gonna smoke it.

owns more then one piece....


non stoner: i dont smoke reggies thats wack shit...

stoner: doesnt discriminate if it contains straight thc and they gotta save money or there pockets arent looking right then mids is there first option.

non stoner: i watched cheech and chong haha im such a stoner

stoner: seen the union 4 times. remembers none of it because they were too stoned while watching it.

 

Non-stoner: "I do not smoke marijuana."

Stoner: "I smoke marijuana."

KB wins.

 

Non-stoner-I smoke kush everyday!


Stoner-I don't know what I get unless it's from a dispensary or straight from the grower.

 

non-stoner:drops rillo or j...blows or drops the bowl somehow..keeps talkin about how high he or she is...never stops talkin about weed...yet never has the balls to actually go buy it...
Stoner:..yo who's down like james brown to smoke?..reggie bush or dank... no Bobby Brown.ha

 

stoner hearing a cough, "choo choo" non-stoner, nothing.

 

Stoner: 'All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves'

Non-Stoner: 'Wtf your crazy man, you smokin too much pot, I think your schizophrenic or something'


Stoner: 'Wow, this music sounds so amazing, it's like the musicians soul is connecting with mine'.

Non-Stoner: 'Hahahaha omg im so fucking high right now hahaha this is great... wait a minute, whats going on? I dont like this. Omg im going to die, call an ambulance! Omg I think it was laced with LSD'.

 

Your eyes are gone!!!

 

[quote name='"ThrashManiac93"']Stoner: 'All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves'

Non-Stoner: 'Wtf your crazy man, you smokin too much pot, I think your schizophrenic or something'

Stoner: 'Wow, this music sounds so amazing, it's like the musicians soul is connecting with mine'.

Non-Stoner: 'Hahahaha omg im so fucking high right now hahaha this is great... wait a minute, whats going on? I dont like this. Omg im going to die, call an ambulance! Omg I think it was laced with LSD'.[/quote]

Hah @ that quote

Now here's tom with the weather

 

Non stoner: "packs" bowl.

Real stoner: fits as much bud as humanly possible.

Non stoner: (the whole time) I'm so fucked!!!!!! Are my eyes red???? Holy shit whats happening I feel like wiz khalifa 420 blitzed rolling paper bunt swag.

Stoner: hand me the AUX cord, I have a new song I wanna show you guys.

 

Non-Stoner: 25 a G? must be dro

Stoner:25 a g?!? *Slap*

 

non stoner: i know it kills brain cells but im addicted.
stoner:*butts in and forces facts down ^that guys throat.

 

non stoner : Stop looking at me I don't like smoking with people watching me

Stoner: *sound of green being hit*

 

Non-stoner: "Yeah, I do bong rips all the time!" Then can't figure the slide/carb/etc.
Stoner: "Dude, like this..."
Non-stoner: "Yeah, I knew that! It's just been a while..."

Then they take a huge milky hit and all the while you're looking on like, "Man, they're gonna choke on that and waste a perfectly good hit."

Then they do. And they cough it all out then talk about how totally blazed they are.

 

Non-stoner in traffic: Dammit, what's the hold up?!

Stoner in traffic: Aww man we're going so fast right now.