How to survive jail?

Discussion in 'General' started by Psygonyx, Aug 3, 2011.

  1. On the 30th I have to do two days at one of the nastiest jails in the county, for a DUID (and I wasn't even high at the time). Minus the drunk tank, I've never been inside, so I don't even know what to expect, and I'm nervous as hell.

    To make matters worse, I have major anxiety issues, and I'm extremely antsy. I was picked on a lot in high school, and I could never learn how to stand up for myself. I'm scared that I'm gonna get ripped to shreds there.

    I've read this article, but it's very vague, and only half of it applies to my situation. I'm almost considering doing massive amounts of coke or X the day I go in, just to ease the situation, but I know that's not the smartest idea. Help a fellow blade out?
  2. Eat a shitload of brownies right before going in, you'll be high as FUCK for the 2 days :)
  3. omg thats a great idea
    go with the brownie plan
  4. Get familiar with black people. Not joking. lols

    Trust me, people in jail won't ever fuck with you unless you fuck with them. It's all about improvisation in jail.
  5. Definitely massive amounts of coke.
    best possible option in any situation really
  6. I would, but edibles don't get me high. :( I've tried them tons of times; I even ate 3 very potent brownies in one sitting; all my friends got fucked-up, yet I felt nothing.
  7. Try not to look like your scared, its gonna blow ass though there is no way around it. My aunt spent over 25 years in prison/jail for many different things she has been to some really nasty ones and she did just fine. My family doesn't know how to stay outta trouble lol
  8. I've heard prison is what you need to worry about, and that jail ain't half as bad.

    But I'm a suburban white kid, what do I actually know about jail?

    Nothing, that's what.
  9. Never ever,ever show weakness.

    The first fool to cause you trouble you go at him like it was thing you'll ever do,because it migh be.

    Also,show respect,but just enough,expect respect back.
  10. Remember cigs are like money there. So, just bring a lot of them and pay people off?
  11. ive had alot of friends and family members that have done time in jail..some up to 15 gf's brother was in the same prison as the guy the movie "blow" is based off of as well that bozo the clown guy who hosted cartoon shows, but he got out a few months ago...ive done a night in the holding cell myself which wasnt so bad...but pretty disgusting and crowded. my suggestion is that you respect everyone, keep to yourself and try to blend in without drawing attention, dont show your afraid or youll become a target, but dont act too big shit either....its a delicate balance and they have their own careful of crossing onto territory that gangs or races dont allow other to pass onto when your out on the yard....its two days..thats nothing. be smart and you will come out ok.
  12. Everyone seems to be brainwashed by TV shows/Movies about prision. They think that the moment they get in, Bubba is waiting with his cock and ready to rape you.

    You're there 2 days, just keep to yourself, but don't act like the 'loner'. Just always have a the same look on your face. When out at rec time, play some ball or something.

    The only people who get messed with are the people staying there awhile.

    Also the most important thing is too never look sad or scared, when you walk into your cell, first impressions are key. Just have a straight, normal face. Or there's always the 'psycho' approach. Act insane like you just got done a killing spree, and act like you can kill anyone at anytime.

    2 days they won't even have time to know who you are.

  13. My family mostly did very well in prison, but then again my cuz went for murder. Someone snitched on the wrong people.
  14. Practice shoving cucumbers up your ass.
  15. I dont mean to scare you but the second I walked into crook county jail my first time I got socked in the face by my cell mate, I took it like a man and homeboy had my back the rest of the time I was locked up. He said if I would have cried or wined about it, everyone on my block would find out and treat me like a bitch.
    Number 1 thing...dont make eye contact with people for a long time...look around, but just glance...lookin the wrong way at some1 in jail is a no-no. Obviously keep your mouth shut unless someone is talking to you. you aint there to make friends, and theres definitley no friends in jail.
    if someone starts a fight with you, you must fight back, they might kill you if you dont at least try and defend yourself. Also, you'll look like a bitch and every1 will know your an eazy target. You only have 2 days, so you should be able to ride this 1 out with no incidents if you play your cards right.
    also, what jail are you goin to? Im white, not huge, and in my early 20s and I survived cook county. You can survive too.
  16. your doing two days.

    i could do two days standing on my head.

    but being stoned wouldnt hurt.
  17. Honestly dude , its two days. You could go in but ass naked with targets on your balls and nothing bad would happen in two days.

    If some kind of confrontation does happen , act like a crazy fuck. You want to give off the suicide bomber vibe , like if they try and fuck with you you'll punch yourself in the face and bite their dick off.
  18. #18 steezyDAT, Aug 3, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2011
    State jail is not that bad, federal is what you should worry...I've went to jail before met lots of cool people and fought one guy who tried punking me for my pillow. Food are horrible, all i ate was oranges cause bread would be green and shit
  19. ^^^ This.

    And 2 days ain't shit. You probably won't even make it out of medical lockup.

    2 days - wow.
  20. Look at it this way: Now you get the chance to stand up for yourself when you didn't in highschool.

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