How to remove rock hard dingleberries

Discussion in 'General' started by Rootsphere_Farms, Aug 3, 2013.

  1. #1 Rootsphere_Farms, Aug 3, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2013
    Read the whole story its a classic

    SO one day I went poop. A small amount of poop was stuck just outside the hole of my butt that was partially stuck inside and outside after wiping. I didn't notice it until 2 weeks later when I had to itch my crack.

    I felt it on my hand and it was a pretty large sized one and I found out it was as hard as concrete as I tried to squeeze it. It was about the size of 1/3 of a golf ball so pretty big same diamater as a little bit bigger than a nickel.

    I tried to pull it out with my hand but the first yank hurt VERY bad so I didn't do that again. At this time I realized that it was probably engulfed with over 30+ hairs that have gone through the dingleberry probably more than once and probably attached to 25+ VERY sensitive areas deep in my butt.

    This one was stuck in there deep about 1 inch from the entrance of your crack.

    So. I had to find a way to remove it cus it was pretty annoying.

    First I tried to cut it with scissors. But there was no hope because there was no way to get a pair of scissors that deep in your butt especially when you have to get behind the dingleberry to remove the main hair attachment. So there was just no way.


    After a few days of trying to cut it out about 10 minutes a day I just decided to try and rip it out. I bled a little, it hurt very badly, and nothing happened but maybe removing 3-5 hairs. So I said fk that and never tried that again.

    Next I tried scrubbing it with a washcloth for 10 minutes after soaking in a bath for 10. Nothing happened except a small amount of poop stain on the cloth. So I said fk that as well and moved on.

    FINALLY after 3 weeks(21 days) I finally got it out. My method was to suffer a small amount of pain every night to get this piece of shit out. It worked. I individually tried to pull hairs from the piece of poop(not from the inside of my butt) I pulled them directly from the piece of poop(All the pressure on pulling it out of the piece of poop and not out of my anus skin.) So after 21 days of 15 minutes a night of individually picking these hairs out with the ocassional pain I finally managed to get every single hair removed from my skin which was keeping it intact.

    If I had to guess I picked out about 45 different hairs until it finally detached.

    When I got it out I saw it for the first time and threw it at my wall as fast as I could because it looked so scary. It was the size of a large whopper candy ball and it was as hard as concrete. When it hit my wall it sounded like I threw a rock at it.


    So I went to go pick it up and I examined it. There was at least 50 hairs engulfed and wrapped around it 3,000 times.

    Overall amazing experience 10/10

    Questions comments?
     
  2. Nice to see GC is having an average Saturday morning lol
     
  3. I'm glad I don't have butt hair, that's the grossest shit I've read all morning :unsure:
     
  4. #4 Rootsphere_Farms, Aug 3, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2013
    I must say it's a story for the elders.
     
  5. #5 Rootsphere_Farms, Aug 3, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 3, 2013
    Would it be weird if I said you're Jamaican me horny mon.
     
  6. God guys I cant stop laughing @ this post
     
  7. take a shower? wipe your ass better?? trim your hairs?
     
  8. Just a little. But I'll take it as a compliment lol
     
  9. Well, what a nice way to start my morning. :laughing:
     
  10. Hahahahah that face. Made me laugh I don't even know why.
     
  11. I was enjoying my breakfast untilled I saw this..... thanks asshole

    Sent from my Typewriter using Grasscity forum

     
  12. sounds like you need to wipe your ass better & bath regularly how the hell could a piece of shit hang on to your ass for 21 days ??? did you consider it a pet ??? did you name it , talk to it & such   :confused:
     
  13. You've never heard of the "pet rock"-hard dingleberry?

    They were all the rage with hippies in the 70s who, coincidentally, also didn't bathe.
     
  14. What a bad thread to stumble across while eating microwave bean burritos... :bolt:
     
  15. My god,
    that was hilarious
     
  16. Wow there are some weird threads on this site.
     
  17. I would have thought I was in the majority of people who actually wipes their ass after they take a shit. Perhaps I'm wrong?
     
  18. #19 moabfighter, Sep 22, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 22, 2014
    Lol this thread
     
  19. This is my kinda thread
     

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