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How to pass almost any cup style drug test

Discussion in 'Apprentice Tokers' started by Knee Deep, Feb 18, 2011.

  1. Ive been getting drug tested at work a lot recently and have passed everytime using a combination of dilution and substitution.

    I figured i would share my methods for anyone not sure on an upcoming test.

    First off no need to be up all night studying, all you need is a couple hours before your test and like 20-30 bucks max for supplies.

    The hardest part about substitution is getting clean pee!
    Once that is done all you need is 1 condom, 1 bread tie, 1 package of handwarmers and 2 pairs of boxer briefs or tighty whities.
    If you have to keep your sample over night make sure to refridgerate it or it will form bacteria.
    A few hours before your test take your pee out of the fridge and let it sit under hot water for 10-15 minutes, While your doing this be cleaning out the condom(make sure that sht is ultra clean.)
    Place the opening of the condom over the mouth of your bottle and be careful not to spill, shit is precious. Twist the end well, and secure it with your bread tie.You do not want to tie it, its harder to puncture a condom than one may think. Fold the ends of your breadtie as not to bust the condom once in place.
    Double up on your underwear and place the condom kinda between your legs and ballsack/dick region(kinda off to the side if you know what im saying.)
    You want the temp to maintain between 90f and 100f no more no less. So an extra pair of pants is also recomended.
    Take your handwarmer and place it in the opening on the front of your top layer of underwear, i tape it to make sure it doesnt slip. You dont want it directly on the condom as that shit gets hotter than 100f. Once your in the bathroom its better if you actually have to pee, quickly unwrap the condom fill the cup, and than take a nice piss. As long as your temps are good, your golden.

    There is always the chance they are going to watch however, thats why you want to dilute as a back up. It really is as easy as chugging about a gallon of water over the course of a couple hours(you can do this as your getting your Substitute ready.) However dilution can show on many tests, so the night before and upto you want to eat as much redmeat as possible for creatine. You can also get creatine supplements. Also B Vitamins are essential to maintain color in your pee, you dont want crystal clear. Take your B vitamins about half way through the course of your water binge(crush em up). Its good to pee 3-4 times through the course of drinking, and then drink 1-2 more glasses right before you leave to make sure your over flowing. At this point you want to try to hold off on peeing again until the test.(will probably be pretty tough.) Always make sure to fill the cup mid stream.

    Follow these tips exactly and you will never fail another piss test.

    Oh and i blaze right up to the test and the dilution still works.
  2. may god bless you fine man.:rolleyes:
  3. thank you man, finally someone sees this post lol. I forgot to mention its easier for females, easier hiding and keeping warm if you know what i mean...

    How do you apply to make a thread a sticky, anyone know?
  4. #4 Mzwaknbakinston, Apr 12, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2013
    i did the jello, it worked great one time, and then failed me twice...ive been trying to figure out what i did different to make it work and i think i know.

    i am a thick girl 5 ft 5 180 lbs. this is definitely a factor. the higher your weight, the more days you need to stop smoking before test for security.

    the time i passed, i worked a overnight shift at a gastion, drinking fresh sugarless green tea and water all night starting at 10, while running a and cleaning an entire 7 eleven( headless chicken behavior). and the activity made me sweat and pee like 9 times.

    i also jogged home about 2 miles.

    when i got home i pissed a waterfall, and then drank the pack of strwberry jello in a bottle of water. then i drank another whole bottle of water. i sipped on smart water during the next hour, and the drank another pack of jello. then i finshed the half liter of water. during these steps i must have peed 4 or 5 times. then i left for the test, and a hour later, passed.

    i had just found out the jello trick so i was exicited, but the next time i tried the jello it failed me.

    what did i do different? on these forums it says u can smoke the night before and pass with this trick. not true if you have ANY meat on your bones, thats way to daring for a thick chronic smoker like me.

    the tea; drink green tea you just made hot and dont add sugar or anything that appeals to fat. just straight herb juice. lots of it. combined i drank a gallon of fresh steeped tea hot, used each tea bag 3 times

    i also took 3 niacin 250 mg before i went to work, made it a point to flush it out so it would be in my system for test in the morning.

    i also took 3 aspirin when i was drinking the jello, i read that it helps throw something slightly off in the test...

    so when it gets down to it u skinny boys and girls have no storage place in your body for thc to hide, i do, and if u do you need to clean off the surface for the test, and not take chances, stop smoking at least 40 hours before, and flush flush flush. i think my body just really just wanted to push out the surplus of jello sugar and water, so cut off my bladder....
  5. Go ahead and flatter yourself but that's not thick..

    And threads two years old.

  6. yes the thread is 2 years old but people are still getting tested in the present.

    and i wasnt flattering myself, thats not flattering for me and i think you missed the point of why i said that, like the point of the forum, and stuff.

    im not a twig, ok? twigs pass drug tests easier. ok?

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