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How to pass a drug test

Discussion in 'Marijuana Consumption Q&A' started by 420blazeit69, Oct 7, 2018.

  1. Hey all. I wanted to make this post about a method Ive used. It works best with a 48-72 hour heads up. Tostart I am about 5'10 180lbs I am not fat nor skinny just your average person. I would say my metabolism is fair but I do not have the cleanest diet by far.

    To start my story, I was on probation in a very wealthy county, so the urine analysis is sent to a pretty intense lab. My P.O. had me reporting only every 3 months. So I had been partaking multiple times daily for about 2 months when she called on a Friday for a random UA. I was suddenly hit with the OH SH*T moment. I had smoked on my lunch break and received the call later that day while at work. Fortunately, I was able to tell persuade taking the test Monday on my lunch break due to travel time and the courts being closed on the weekend. Here's what I do:

    Step one: CERTO! A lot of people believe in it and a lot of people don't. Certo alone will not make you pass. I can guarantee that. However, the theory is that Certo is fruit pectin fiber. THC and it's metabolites THC-COOH are stored in your fat and when your body breaks it down it is moved to bile which then becomes water soluble. However, bile binds to fiber and fiber can ONLY be passed through your fecal matter. So, in theory, certo essentially binds THC to your intenstines. I drank 3 packs of certo Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and 2 on Monday. During this time I barely ate. It may upset your stomach but better safe than sorry. I wanted as much bile and THC to bind as possible. However, if not excreted it can become reabsorbed into your blood through your intestines so step 2 is equally important.

    Step 2: LAXATIVES! This part is gross and by far not enjoyable, it was a very sh**ty weekend, no pun intended, but desperate times call for desperate measures. It's estimated that up to 80% of THC-COOH (the metabolites drug tests look for) leave the body through feces. Fortunately they don't test your poop. Combining the certo all weekend with a generic case of 24 chocolate laxatives ( roughly 4-6 pieces a day) I essentially binded as much metabolised THC as possible and pooped out as much as possible. Be sure to drink plenty of liquids and stay hydrated. The less you eat the better, stick to soft veggies if you need to eat something. I had some spinach lol. I should note I also took 7 day colon cleanser pills but doubled the daily amount, but I don't believe it is necessary.

    Step 3: DILUTION!!! This is by far the riskiest part of the equation. If you are too diluted you have to re test or some P.O.s will violate you for that so be very careful how much liquid you consume. Everyone is different, but testers ask you drink no more than 8oz per hour on test day. I suggest double to triple that amount for dilution depending on your size. UAs require 'specific gravity' they look for a proper level of B-vitamins and Creatinine (the metabolite of creatine) I knew I had plenty of creatine in my system because I'm a big meat eater, if you are worried about this level I suggest a creatine supplement 2-3 days before a test. It takes some time for it to metabolize. I took about 4x the daily recommended amount of adult B-12 vitamins throughout the weekend and on test day. Be sure to pee 3-4 times before the test until your urine is no longer clear has a color to it. I also took a Green Tea Detox on test day but I personally believe it's useless. It will give you color, vitamins, and just extra dilution, there is not a magical potion to mask THC. I had 4 laxatilves abkut 5 hours before the test and then drank 2 packs of certo mixed in with a 32oz Gatorade and 16 oz of water about 2 hours before my test then peed until I had color.

    Results: After consuming quality bud daily for 2 months and eating like a Savage. I was able to pass a lab urine test. I smoked Friday at about 2:00 and pissed Monday at about 12:00. Keep in mind most test have a threshold of 50 ng/ml of THC so you dont have to be entirely clean This method worked for me 100% but I will say IT IS NOT WORTH IT if you are taking tests for the law just quit. I was more than half way done with probation and could've risked all my freedom. Quit for now and play by the rules. I had my fun and free passes early on but it is completely not worth it. You have the entire rest of your life to enjoy whatever you want to. A few months won't hurt you. I hope this helps.

    *I am not responsible for any undesired health or test results and I do not condone tampering with or falsifying urine samples, that is illegal*

    Thanks for reading. Stay fly.
     
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