Hey! My name is Jessica Been reading here for pretty long and it has helped me alot. Now I'm hoping you guys can help me out again with my first post. I decided to try online dating and found an amazing manliving in another city 45 min away from me. We've been speaking for about amonth and I've figured that he's definitely a man of my life. At first I had agreat game and was even impressed by myself. But the more I talked to him andgot more comfortable. Date 1: Took awalk, he guided me around her city Date 2: Dinner Date 3: he took thetrain to my city and we discovered Stockholm together, then dinner. All thetime holding hands. We finished the date with cinema, but we kissed more thanlooking at the actual movie. As usual I sent a message after the date saying "Had agreat time, I want to see you again soon". He suggested that I should comevisit him then, so 3 days later I did. Date 4: Firsttook a walk then movie at his place. His mother called and he answered"I'm with Jes, talk later". That means he had mentioned me to hismother? Probably good? During the movie we started making out. We didn't gofurther though. At 00:00 I left cause I knew he was going up early and me too(Tuesday). I sent him a text saying "Hope to see u soon )<3". Hereplied "Of course! and a kiss smiley". Our next conversation was on snapchat. I commented on hisstory, wished him a great weekend (went to visit his friend) I was a bit surprised that he didn't text me like he usedto, so sent him a "thinking about you" on Sunday evening when I knewhe'd be home. he replied with just a smiley and asked if I had a great weekend.The conversation continued, but he was a bit cold and not as flirty as he usedto be. I invited him to my place and told him I'd try to beat his friend in theMasterChef challenge. Here comes the problem. He denied and said he was busy wholeweek with studies. He didn't say that he wanted to see me, but not that hedidn't want to see me either. I continued the conversation a bit and he repliedeven though I didn't ask questions, but still cold. I've probably fuckedup totally. My current plan is to not text him in a week and see what happens.Fellas! Please give me some tips, because I really like this man and don't wantto blow it! Don't tell me It's too late.
Hi jessica I agree in my mind with idea that he needs to feel validatedby having you "Chase" him. The fact that he is always running off,waiting for you to run after him to make things better.... This is not a traitof a mature man. It's not okay to make you feel like you are always the one tomake amends, and give him reassurance. It almost seems like a game to him tosee how far he can push you without you leaving. For him to refuse to return your texts/calls for so long,and then finally respond as though you are annoying him is childish and justplain rude. Is this really your ideal man? You are absolutely right is to not text him in a week and see what happens, but if I wereyou? I wouldn't. Not at all. You didn't do anything wrong, yet you have to playhis I Love You I Love You Not game? I think not. I would seriously suggest you to read this. It's not fair to you to always be playing by his rules, andbeing manipulated into catering to him whenever he is moody. When he contacts you again, be firm and let him know thatyou need more stability in your relationship and he can't be playing Hot andCold at his whim. If he doesn't contact you? Let him leave. It's truly hisloss, not yours.
it seems as though from a females perspective this is not acceptable behavior....but I agree with the last post. ..the man is busy! Relax a bit, all is still well.
Different perspective: Have you guys banged? Most guys online are just looking for sex, if you have gone out 4x with no play then he might be over it and on to the next. Or he might just be busy.
In the phase you two are in, it's crucial you don't smother him. Play back. If he doesn't holler at you eventually id just move on.
I'm in agreement with Noahvalentine. Great advice. Don't text him. Give him space. Live your life like he isn't in it. He's going to get curious why you're not contacting him. Take control of your life. If he can't deal with that you need to move on. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and find another prospect.
I really don't understand what the problem is. So he's busy for a week and that's not ok with you? If the chick I was talking to stopped txt me for a week I would give up. Some men don't want to play games.
Have you considered that maybe he actually is just busy? Leave the ball in his court, text him saying something along the lines of "Hey, do you want to meet up this weekend?" If he doesn't reply then he's wasting your time, and as others mentioned, a lot of men are on dating websites just for sex, it's the hard truth. I'm not saying he is so don't jump to conclusions, just leave the ball in his court and if he's serious he'll reply back
Heres some advice. Stop being clingy. Red flag of clinginess: "speaking for about a month and I've figured that he's definitely a man of my life"
Here's some truth: no one wants someone clingy. But not everyone will see you as that. He may have been nice, but anyone who ignores you is a bit of a dick. If he can't honestly tell you that you're too clingy for him or any reason why he doesn't want to see you... Forget the idiot and get better standards for yourself.