Young couple both had been going through depression for a good 2-3 years now. We been together for almost 5 years, we stuck it through. And we are both changing are life’s for the better now. But I fucked up a lot. I never complimented my gf much even when I was melting inside, I was just awkward when it came to verbal communication that way. I sucked at it and still do. I try to compliment and such but it just comes out a mess . And when we first started dating I was so insecure I was like a father and always bugged her an wanted her to dress more “appropriately” even when sometimes she just looked amazing and there was nothing inappropriate in the first place going on, but I was to scared she’d get attention from another guy. Obviously in time things have changed but I still feel like all that left a mark on her. Or she would dress up sexy for sex sometimes, do make up etc.. I fully melted and was in awh but I doubt I portrayed that to her. And now she never bothers anything like that even though I feel like she wants to do make up or sometimes & get sexy or put on cute outfit for me, but isn’t worth it because I didn’t ever tell her how much I loved it and enjoyed and I think she really feels that I did not but really I was just melting awkwardly lol. And I feel like that hurt her confidence as well. And she always says stuff about herself too, like she says she doesn’t like leggings because her legs are to big and her calves aren’t skinny enough. In reality her legs are toned and tight and hot as all hell. Or her tits arnt big enough or this isn’t good enough etc. Ughhh she can be so dazzling if she wants How do I make her feel sexy and confident again? I know tell her compliment her etc. But just deeper than that like what can I do to get that message across? And most importantly how to make her feel appreciated again? I won’t sugar coat it I’m a dull boring human and I lack most necessary human morals and interaction skills. I was told since I was young I don’t see people’s feelings etc. I don’t mean too, and it’s not that I’m an asshole ( though I can be ) but I’m very almost autistic about emotions. And I really do just suck as a boyfriend. Its not that I don’t want to it’s just I don’t actually see the logic in romantic things or even simple things like slow dancing it’s boring and tedious to my brain. I have my advantages like being low maintenance being extremely loyal easy to make happy. And very happy just to have simple life. I am happy just to have her and I know that, I’m so lucky to have ever ended up with her and I’m so greatful she’s stuck beside me . But I feel like I need to step up my game for her because it’s only fair. But how do I make her feel sexy and help her gain her confidence in herself again? And how do I make her feel appreciated by me because I love her more than anything but I suck so bad at showing emotions and feelings let alone expressing them Leeeet alone romanticly lol Any advice appreciated thank u!
You admitted that you lack human morals and interaction skills and you have been told since you were young that you don't see people's feelings. She deserves better - let her go and move on.
If you can't talk about your emotions, show her the next time you are having sex, be passionate about it, kiss her hard enough that it hurts a little, run your hands over every inch of her body and pull her hips into you hard and squeeze her thigh. If you can't tell her, show her.
Op just show her your whole post and have an honest conversation. You can do it. Sent from my [illustrious_imagination] using Grasscity Forum mobile app
This would drive me away... And I'm all about a man showing me he means business in a.... Tactful way.
Fuck that's super easy just send her and her girl friends to see the Chip n Dale dancers . Give them each a couple hundreds in five dollar bills and get prepared to be raped when they get home . Trust and believe ,, this works ….
Use your words. Ask her what she wants. One suggestion is to open up the relationship so she can feel appreciated by other men (or women) to rebuild her sense of sexiness.
Think of something cute to do (draw off ideas relating to what she likes or her existing quirks) like leave notes here and there with things you like about her, send her to get a pedicure or just plan things where you two can spend time together.
Even sending her a text of a photo of the two of you and being like "I really enjoyed when we we r xyz" she'd probably love that
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m a woman, and that would do it for me... You could throw in something about how you want to make her your dirty little fucktoy too.
Be spontaneous. Don’t force compliments. Figure out how she prefers to be loved (love languages bro, real shit). Don’t be overly invested, could make her feel suffocated. Give her space if she needs it. Give yourself space. Improve yourself and it will improve your relationship.