Dont wanna read? Skip to the end..... Well it just hit me that im pretty much a loser. I don't hold conversations with girls too well, i only have a couple good friends and 1 of them, my best friend, is a athlete/nerd - you know those kids. Im quiet all the time, but i try to talk but eventually i run of of things to say.... Ive been pretty much trapped in my house my entire life. Been on the internet, seen some fucked up shit, became a realist, but i still wasn't that weird kid who talked to himself in class or was psycho. Ive had a few girls like me, and one of them sorta in love with me, but i dont see them working out too well; i dont think i can handle them...Even today, this fine ass girl ive like for 2 years now wanted to talk, but i looked in a different direction and talked to my friend.....fml Im currently playing soccer, had a couple of my mexican friends teach me at the nearby soccer field. Its only been 2 weeks, but im improving. Now heres where i relaized why im a loser. I come home today, its my friends mom's birthday. I go over to their house, and their dad is drinking to celebrate. Note that me and his dad is pretty close, thats the only reason i go down there is to chill with him... I tell him that ive been playing soccer, he goes to say that "dude you will never be good, your too stiff. You suck.." There my balls just shattered...i know how he is and he even told me not to take most of the shit he says seriously, but this really hit me. My entire life, ive never been as "tough" as i should be. Im just the pushover basically, its not my mentality to fight others; Ive never been in a fight all my life either. Tl;Dr So my question is, how do i stop being such a lame? Im 5'8, weigh 145, and have little muscle. I dont have very good social skills, and im learning to play soccer atm. Kicked in the balls by a friend, telling me i suck and basically to sum his words up, "im a pussy".
Fuck other people. Be proud of who you are. If you're self conscious about yourself, start lifting weights. Start exercising and playing sports, do whatever interests you. It's your life man, live it.
well firstly when he said "you're too stiff", I don't think he meant you were an absolute loser. you just misinterpreted it. nothing related to you being socially retarded. and the "you suck" part was probably the result of him being a little drunk, I woulda just laughed it off and dismiss it, but you definitely took it too personal. weed doesn't help you become sociable? do you smoke before school? i remember i wasn't too sociable in highschool because i'd be asleep most of the time and refuse to socialize. try some anti depressant pills if you feel like you need a small boost or something. and if you do want to get out of your little shell here, you got to think for a second and realize that you're going to have to take a break from the internet, which is probably keeping you inside. trust me, i've been there years ago.
What you're doing right now is called "loosening up" Envision yourself as water and every person, situation, encounter, room or ideology is a bottle or glass. How do you as water make it into that cup? Do you become one with the cup or bottle? Does the bottle or water maintain your purity as it was when it was within the cup or bottle that is called you? If so do you like being in that cup or bottle of water? This sir is what you call loosening up. Now throw a cap on it and pass it around
ok. opinions are like a* holes so.. 1. you are no more or less a person than anyone elce on this planet. so looking for external recognition for self worth is never a good thing. 2. learn some conversational skills. do that and report back.
Don't worry about it man. Be an athlete, but don't be a tool in the process. I'm a soccer player myself, I play goalkeeper, and I'm 6'2 at 145, obviously less muscle than yourself. (It works well being a goalie, agility > muscle, in this case) If I were you, I'd improve your soccer skills, and work out. Get fit, get some new clothes, and you'll feel so much better afterwards. You'll gain confidence, and you'll be able to talk to girls a lot better. Try to be more freindly, make some more friends, anything to make yourself feel better man. Hope all goes well
Im working out now. Hopefully by spring break ill look more physical, gotta get this six pack going. i have friends, but its people since elementary school that i know, so obviously their gonna be friendly towards me...i try to motivate myself to try and talk to others i don't know, but i always get discouraged because get paranoid about how they will think of me...
Exactly man, sports are a great way to make friends. Theres some kids on my soccer team, who seem like really odd kids (several of them still are ), but I would never have talken to them if I never played this sport. Most of them are really cool, and if you and your team are really close, it's only good things from there.
People that say things to get under your skin and shit are just not worth it. Concentrate on yourself and what makes you happy. When you do that, girls seem to notice. Learn to appreciate the things in your life and what is around you. I used to be kind of like you man, the shy kid and girls never talked to me. But the older I got, I just learned to be content with the Earth and how awesome everything really is. When that happened, girls seemed to come around. Sounds cheesy but whatever haha
weed doesn't really help me talk. Id rather just relax and listen to some dubstep, but i do smoke with this other kid whos the down to earth, colombian/new yorker. Dude can get any girl he wants, super chill, and is a good friend. When we smoke, i try to keep it calm and not talk at all...even when he invites me to smoke at his friends house; i keep quiet...i fucking hate that...
So anyone have any advice on how to be more sociable? Like how to improve my talking skills? i seem to put my thoughts down better by writing them down, rather than talking. Last year i was talking to this girl on facebook that i knew for a year prior. Me and Her hardly talked ever, but that summer she came outta no where and asked me whats up.. From there, i somehow got her to keep coming back, and actually held a conversation that lasted a few good hours....but i never talked to her in real life; just a hey whats up, every now and then :/
idk i always just think of something to say..ask questions but not to many but really though if anyone is telling u that u talk to much, unless ur talking like a mile a minute u should just ignore them also just remember, u have the same right as anyone else to say what u want, so dont feel like u need to hold anything back
I was in the same boat as you bro. The last few years of my life have been pathetic. Sitting around, not socialising at school, never making anything out of myself. I have never had a job, never had a girlfriend and hadn't done anything (Smoke, drink) and I'm 18. I'm not sure when it happened, but I slapped myself in the face metally and said "Is this what you want to become? Another face in the crowd? Another person nobody knows?" I changed my life around, started talking at school, started working out, started going to partys and talking to girls. You just need to get up and get yourself going. Are you going to start today or are you going to wait another year? Today is the day, take pride in yourself. If you need someone to talk to just send me a PM. I will try to help out as much as possible. It's a long and shitty road, but you have to take it sooner or later.
what people think of you depends on what you think of yourself.. if you really wanna play soccer you gotta work for it. you gotta start running and hitting the gym atleast 3-4 times a week. just get out in your backyard and practice dribbling and shooting and everything. everyday. for as long as you can. for girls the est way is to look at it at a realistic view if you are one. we're all the same dying organic matter living on this floating rock in the middle of a vast universe. you have to treat all girls the same you can't ideal worship one girl because she's really good looking and treat a fat girl like a fat girl. if you think about it beauty is truely in the eye of the be holder. find a girl who you think is the most attraitive girl in the world and i'll find a guy who thinks she's ugly. simple as that. get your confidence up and start beleiving in yourself and lots of good will follow. edit: if you waste all your energy worrying what others think about you, you'll never be very social the first part is to let down your walls.