How to find a good therapist

Discussion in 'Fitness, Health & Nutrition' started by Bluntzilla420, Mar 25, 2016.

  1. This seems like the right sub to post this.

    I'm nearly 30 and finally want to go see a therapist, just to talk to someone. I've spent my last two evenings laying in bed, just living with zero motivation to do anything substantial. I used to stay up late, write, be creative, read books and magazines. Now, my life is the same ole shit every...single...day.

    I live with my GF and our dog. We've been together about 2.5 years and I love them both. We are a mini family and I have no real qualms about the living situation. I do feel like we have a routine that, for better or worse, is monotonous and not doing me any favors personally. She works from home and doesn't get out much unless she runs errands or goes to Zumba once in a while, or grabs some coffee so she can work more at home. That's fine, it's her life.

    But, this affects me whether she realizes it or not. She doesn't motivate me, which perhaps isn't her job. I wish she did, though, and maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. As you can see I can talk for hours about how I feel.

    So, anyone who sees a therapist or once did: what's the best way to find the "right" person? Is it based on location and what's available, if they accept health insurance, etc? (NOTE: My GF has seen a therapist off and on for years; she suffers from bad anxiety and depression. I have suffered from depression of and on as well, but never took any meds.)
     
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  2. Start looking who's in your insurance network, try making an appointment get to know the therapist, after one or two sessions you'll have a good idea if they are someone you are going to be able to talk to about what you need to. If it doesn't work out the first time, give another one a chance. Ever though of calling on a friend to unload some of life's "shit" on, they are free and assuming their true friends would most likely give you better advice since they know you a lot better than someone you'll go talk to for an hour a week.
     
  3. ask people and look on the internet, you could always try having a kid for a bit of change in your life.
     
  4. Welcome to adulthood. Monotony is pretty common once you grow up. Sounds like you need to explore something new. Pick up biking, kite flying, fishing, frisbee golf, etc. You don't have kids, take advantage of that fact and realize you have so much time on your hands that you won't if you squirt out some offspring. I was rolling 2 kids deep by your age. Now I have tons of things I want to do but not the personal time to do most of them.
     
  5. I don't really have a friend I can confide in nowadays. It's kind of sad. I have friends I've known for nearly 30 years, but things aren't the way they used to be. Eh.

    Ha, that's the last thing I need right now.

    I've been an adult for a while; I think I've just been ignoring my own thoughts for years, thinking things would get better once I got a steady job and moved out of my parents' house, etc. That never happened. I work a 9-5 and when I get home I'm tired and have no energy. I shouldn't feel this lethargic at this age. It's like, I know what I should do but I don't do it.
     
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  6. look for a good therapist and get a good hobby, try boxing, boxing is a fun thing to do.
     
  7. I hear ya, I didn't mean to imply you weren't an adult just that what you're going through is pretty common once you've got a steady job, girl, etc. It's almost like an early midlife crisis. I think of it as a form of mission creep. You're excited to get to xyz in life then you're comfortable and find that you're just kinda stuck and not moving forward. I think you need to get uncomfortable, put your neck out trying to accomplish something. It could be that weed isn't helping you right now. On that note, let's all enjoy Faith No More's "other" midlife crisis song.

     
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  8. Yeah, I feel ya. But when I look at my peers, I feel like they don't feel the same things as me. I can just tell. They're content in their usual ways. I'm not. I want more out of life. Is there more? I guess that's the question, isn't it?
     
  9. Ya, there's more...at least for me. I've got the house, wife, job, kids since I was 23, debt and I go through more or less what you're talking. The alternative to life seems pretty boring. I stand by my statement that you need to get uncomfortable and try something new. If you live in a boring ass place like central cali then maybe you should consider a move to the mountains or coast. Your girl works at home so all you need to do is get a different job. Live it up while you're living.
     
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  10. Get a Hobby
    Grow Cannabis
     
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  11. Have you had your T levels checked?

    Either way I think talking to a therapist is a good idea. I feel similar to you in that I really have no one to talk to, even though I have a great family, a girl, and friends I've known for a lifetime.

    Love FNM and love this song!!
     
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  12. Funny. I'm going to my therapist in an hour. It is honestly helping so far. I never had medication either. So I have a psychiatrist appointment in april. Also has greatly helped slowing down on the drinking.

    Sent from my SM-G900R4 using Tapatalk
     
  13. How did you find your therapist?
     
  14. trial and error is my best guess
     
  15. Well I had to go to my open door clinic first. You have to explain all your problems to your doctor. Don't lie either, they don't give a shit what substance you have taken. It actually helps them greatly if you tell them. Just be honest pretty much and express how you feel.

    Sent from my SM-G900R4 using Tapatalk
     
  16. That's 'therapists', Mr. Connery.
    Not 'the rapists'.
     
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  17. why don't you talk to your gf about it? since it seems to bother you to the point that you'd be willing to go see a therapist.
    but the person you really should be talking to is her.
     
  18. It's not about her; it's about me. She's just a large part of my life, so I don't see it as abnormal.
     
  19. i have to disagree... it sounds like it is about her (or really your life together), it comes pretty clear through your post. and it's not abnormal in any way...
    either way why don't you talk about those exact topics with her?
    is there a reason you wouldn't bring it up?
     
  20. OK, I will say that not every relationship is perfect. Some days I feel more happy than others, but I attribute that to my own emotional "deficiencies." We do talk a lot and are quite open, but we also keep some things to ourselves because we are just introverts at heart.

    Life is difficult, especially the older you get. It's hard to be happy every day when you see them and sleep next to them and do everything with them. We are best friends, yes, but it doesn't mean it's all rainbows and butterflies. That's why I said I didn't think it was abnormal; millions go through the same thing.
     
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