How the grinch stole gay marriage

Discussion in 'Pandora's Box' started by GimmieMore, Aug 16, 2008.

  1. #1 GimmieMore, Aug 16, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 17, 2008
    Every Gay down in Gayville liked Gay Marriage a lot......
    But the Grinch, who lived just east of Gayville, did NOT!!
    The Grinch hated happy Gays! The whole Marriage season!
    Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
    It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
    It could be, perhaps, his Florsheims were too tight.
    But I think the most likely reason of all was
    His heart and brain were two sizes too small.
    "And they're buying their tuxes!" he snarled with a sneer,
    "Tomorrow's the first Gay Wedding! It's practically here!"
    Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
    "I MUST find some way to stop Gay Marriage from coming!"
    For, tomorrow, he knew...
    All the Gay girls and boys
    would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their vows!
    And then! Oh, the Joys! Oh, the Joys!
    And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
    Every Gay down in Gayville the tall and the small,
    would stand close together, all happy and blissing.
    They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Gays would start kissing!
    "I MUST stop Gay Marriage from coming! ...But HOW?"
    Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
    "I know what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
    And he went to his closet, grabbed his sheet and his hood.
    And he chuckled, and clucked, with a great Grinchy word!
    "With this beard and this cross, I look just like our Lord!"
    "All I need is a Scripture..." The Grinch looked around.
    But, true Scripture is scarce, there was none to be found.
    Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said,
    "With no Scripture on Marriage, I'll fake one instead!"
    "It's one man and one woman," the Grinch falsely said.
    Then he broke in the courthouse. A rather tight pinch.
    But, if Georgie could do it, then so could the Grinch.
    The little Gay benefits hung in a row.
    "These bennies," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
    Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most uncanny,
    around the whole room, and he took every benny!
    Health care for partners! Doctors for kiddies!
    Tax rights! Adoptions! Pensions and Wills!
    And he stuffed them in bags.
    Then the Grinch, with a chill,
    Stuffed all the bags, one by one, in his bill.
    Then he slunk to the kitchen, and stole Wedding Cake.
    He cleaned out that icebox and made it look straight.
    He took the Gay-bar keys! He took the Gay Flag.
    Why, that Grinch even took their last Gay birdseed bag!
    "And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will pocket their Rings."
    And the Grinch grabbed the Rings, and he started to shove
    when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
    He turned around fast, and off flew his hood.
    Little Lisa-Bi Gay behind him sadly stood.
    The Grinch had been caught by small Lisa-Bi.
    She stared at the Grinch and said, "My, oh, my, why?"
    "Why are you taking our Wedding Rings? WHY?"
    But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
    He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
    "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Shepherd sneered,
    "The judges are evil, the other states weird."
    "I'll fix the rings there and I'll bring them back here."
    It was quarter past dawn... All the Gays, still a-bed,
    all the Gays still a-snooze when he packed up and fled.
    "Pooh-Pooh to the Gays!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
    "They're finding out now no Gay Marriage is coming!"
    "Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
    then the Gays down in Gayville will all cry Boo-Hoo!"
    He stared down at Gayville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
    Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
    Every Gay down in Gayville, the tall and the small,
    was kissing! Without any bennies at all!
    He HADN'T stopped Marriage from coming! IT CAME!
    Somehow or other, it came just the same!
    And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
    stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
    "It came without lawyers, no papers to sort!"
    "It came without licenses, came without courts!"
    And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
    Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
    "Maybe Marriage," he thought, "doesn't come from the court.
    Maybe Marriage...perhaps... comes right from the heart.
    Maybe Marriage comes from all the words the Gays say.
    Words like Husband, like Wedding, and Spouse who is Gay."
    And what happened then...? Gayville they say
    that the Grinch's small brain grew three sizes that day!
    And the Gays had their Weddings. They promised for life.
    They swore to be faithful, to Wife and her Wife.
    The Husbands were happy, to each other they vowed
    To be Out and be Honest, be Gay and be Proud.
    They told all their neighbors and friends of their Spouse,
    They told of their Marriage and sharing their house.
    They said "We got Married." They shouted it loud.
    Their marital status was "Married and Proud."
    And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
    He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light.
    And he brought back the rings, cake and Gay birdseed bags!
    And he... ...HE HIMSELF... hung the Gay Rainbow Flag!
    The Lord looked down, at the proud and the tall,
    and said "These are my children, and I love them all."

    The Moral of the Story...

    The moral of this story is that we don't need a piece of paper and the approval of the state to get married. We can just get married. Instead of having a committment ceremony, we can have a wedding. Instead of partners, we can have husbands and wives. Instead of calling our relationship a Domestic Partnership or a Civil Union, we can call it a Marriage.
    Whether any government recognizes it is separate from what we call it. It's a free country and we can call ourselves what we like. In 5 or 10 or 20 years, with plenty of visible same-sex married couples, the world won't see us as strange or scary, we're just the married couple down the street that happens to be gay. Eventually, the legal recognization of our marriages will follow.
    If we allow ourselves to voluntarily sit in the back of the bus, we'll never make any progress. Rosa Parks had to sit in the front of the bus to make a difference. We must as well.

    *GimmieMore did not write this.
  2. thats a long read and i gotta go in a few minutes, but i just wanted to say that i have no idea why the government even has to think wether or not to make gay marriage legal. free country you say? free as long as you dont cross the boundaries that some prick in a suit though of

  3. People would rather believe they're free then open their eyes and look at the oppression and tyranny around them. True, we are "free-er" than many, if not most, other people in this world. Does that mean we are anywhere near the level of freedom we like to thinks we have?
  4. ya....i dont get why people care if gay marriage is legal or people will still get married and have buttsex illegally it dont matter if its legal or not lol.
  5. it IS happening whether some ppl like it or not. the govt can shove their ass backwards "ideals" down the shitter and cry about it...fuck them and their grinchy ways

    loves to you gimmie!:p
  6. Awwww skittlette..... love back

    love all around.

    except to the government... *evil stare*
  7. exactly!

    land of the free and home of the brave my ass!

    freedom doesn't come with limits.......

    that makes no sense.

    Thats like me putting you in a box and saying you are free to do whatever you want, anything at all, I won't stop you.... unless you open the windows or turn on the lights.... then I will kill you.

  8. haha im against all marriage. i dont think people should have to sign a few papers to make their selfs official.

    not to mention having a wedding is more expensive then hell. i also dont think people should have to go through a whole divorce, legal wise, to break up.

    i often think that rings are sometimes what holds a marriage together, not the fact that they love each other.

    haha just my rant of the day.
  9. You know what? I have no issue with that opinioni whatsoever... simply because its not discriminatory..

    Have a nice day!
  10. yeah..i had to give you e-loves...cuz i cant give you rep rite now =/

    so...MORE LOVES! :love:

    spread the love ad the joy...but tar and feather the govt...don fuck them..theyd enjoy it too much:rolleyes:
  11. yeah, i try to be open minded on issues.

    it just seems so dumb, i think its because people are insecure. they dont feel secure unless they have a paper signed by their partner.

    i think there would be even more divorces if it wasnt for marriage. just because you have to go through so much legal shit to make it happen. and then atleast in my state that have that one year ting going on if you have a kid.

    i think itd be easier on a kid, if mommy just said daddy's gonna live somewhere else for a while. then putting it in terms of, divorce.
  12. Honestly there are onlly two reason why I want gay marriage legalized. I am in a commited relationship and the actual "married" title means nothing, IMHO.

    1. Marriage come with all kinds of perks. Tax breaks, children (in general - its just easier), hospital rights, next-of-kin rights.... the list goes on. I see no reason why my relationship is any less valid than a heterosexual in the same boat as me. My partner and I love each other. We are commited and faithful to each other. We live together. We share everything, good and bad.........

    In fact, I think my relationship is more valid than some heterosexual ones that are perfectly legal. For example, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage. What the fuck is that? Two heterosexuals can meet today, and go get married tomorrow and that is perfectly okay. Marriage, as it stands now (being heterosexual exclusive), has around a 50% divorce rate. How in the fuck is it going to get worse??? Statistics show homosexual couples that fit the description of married have around a 80% rate of staying together.

    What the fuck.....

    2. I'm all for equality. Period.

  13. yeah my uncle never legally married his wife, until taxes got so god damn crazy they had to get married to be able to afford that bullshit.

    i feel like the govt. wants people to get married, besides gays, and i have no idea why. what does it mean to them, why cant people just get married without any govt. involved, and brake up without dealing with the law.

    and no.2 of course. if someones gonna have something its bullshit if someone else cant, just because theyre not straight, shit and people have been gay forever, it would seem like we'd have been able to adapted to it by now.

    i guess you could say the same thing about race.
  14. they want it for uniformity, and calling gay marriage something diffrent is just a way of osctrizing the homosexuals and another way of trying to scare people into being all the same brainwashed sacks of shit the government wants them to be
  15. Since you don't care about the subject, I wouldn't expect you to know how offensive of a statement that was.

    Theres rugmunchers that want to get married too.:D
  16. Yeah we do!!
  17. Homosexuality was the downfall of Rome.
  18. that poem was adorable and cute<3

    i am gay, have a boyfriend, AND WE HAVE HINEYSEX!!! and i'm proud of it :]

    (sometimes we smoke before hand for added fun:smoking:)

    That is funny as fuck.


    Who doesn't?

    theres a thread about that in the sex
  20. Nail. Head. You hit it.

    But really though, the institution of Marriage is bullshit. There should be no benefits for being married. Thats an interaction between Religion and the State, and those two combined are a big clusterfuck of stupidity.

    Regardless tho, if we're in a society which has a hard-on for Marriage, I do believe you deserve the same rights as any other person whom wants to display their love and commitment through marriage. I wish you and your significant other all the best.:wave:

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